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Sticking It To The Miso-ji-stic

, , , , | Related Working | March 17, 2016

(A cashier at a video game store has been giving me a hard time for being a girl trying to buy several games, including using the phrase “get back in the kitchen.” My little brother, only five but incredibly smart, has been watching all this for over five minutes. He then interrupts me.)

Brother: *smiles innocently* “Hey mister, can I tell you something?”

Cashier: “Sure thing, kid.”

Brother: “You need to shut the f*** up and stop being a miso-ji-stic (misogynistic) a**butt who tells the local Mario Kart champion to go back in the kitchen, whatever that means! Check out the games before she blue-shells your a** to Chicago and back!”

Cashier: *turns red and shuts up*

(Speechless, the cashier checks out the games in record time while refusing to make eye contact with me. The cashier was gone a week later.)

Once A Marine, Always A Marine

, , , , | Hopeless | March 17, 2016

(I am a bookseller working toward a teaching credential. While I am not exactly poor, my pay is not stellar, and it is occasionally a stretch for me to manage loans and bills. While walking home from work, I see a middle-aged man asking for money on the corner. He appears to be a veteran. I scrounge around in my purse for change and only find a penny, but I walk up to him, anyway.)

Me: “Hey. I’m one of those jerks who doesn’t carry a lot of cash. So, this is all I have. I hope it helps.”

(I press the penny into the palm of the veteran’s hand. He looks at me. When he speaks, I can tell that he’s not all there, but he sounds genuine.)

Veteran: “You know what? If that’s all you have, then take this.”

(To my amazement, he presses a one dollar bill into my palm. I shake my head and try to give it back to him.)

Me: “No. You need it more than I do.”

Veteran: “You know what? Take it. I was in the Marines. And my job was to protect this country. And help poor people.”

(Overcome with emotion, I impulsively salute at the veteran. He immediately snaps into a military salute in response. I thank him and start walking again, and he calls after me.)

Veteran: “Hey! Don’t you be spending that on alcohol, now!”

Me: “I won’t, sir!”

(True to my word, I converted the dollar into quarters for laundry, which I desperately needed to do. It really goes to show how some people, even in their greatest hours of need, will still go out of their way to help others out. Wherever you are now, sir, thank you – and to everyone else, please remember to support your troops, since many of them, after the fight, will need all the love they can get.)

Unseen Gym Buddy

, , , , , | Hopeless | March 17, 2016

(I have been trying to get into shape as I am a bit overweight. I’m not very athletic and it’s obvious. One day I had just finished running on the indoor track at the University’s gym and I see a note under my water bottle by the bench.)

Note: “It’s always nice to get a note of encouragement! Keep up the good work. You’re doing great! =)”

(Thank you mystery running buddy. I appreciate it more than you know!)

I Smell The Beer Of An Englishman

, , , , | Hopeless | March 17, 2016

(I have flown from the US to London, with a layover in NYC, and land on a Friday afternoon. I was not able to sleep on the flight at all, despite trying. Then, I have to take a one-hour train ride to London from the airport, followed by what feels like a very long walk to the office building where my best friend works. I’ve now gone almost twenty-four hours without sleep, and the walk has drained me much more than expected. I don’t yet have a UK SIM card for my phone, and I don’t know where to find wifi near his office, so all I can do is wait for my friend to get off work and meet me at the spot he asked me to be. I sit down on the steps with my bag, and without realizing it, I’ve nodded off to sleep. Some businessmen across the street enjoying some drinks at a pub call out to me.)

Businessman #1: “Oi, mate! You all right?”

Me: *bleary-eyed* “Huh? Oh, sorry. I’m fine; I haven’t slept in over a day… I just flew in from the US. I’m meeting my friend here. He should be out in…” *checks watch* “…a few minutes.”

(I stand up; obviously sitting won’t work.)

Businessman #2: “Oh, good, okay. We thought you were drugged out or something!” *mimes the motion of a head nodding side to side and forward* “Looked like you were on a bad trip!”

Businessman #1: “Hey, why not let me buy you a pint, mate? Help keep you awake!”

(I should have said yes, but politely declined, thinking in my state a beer was not the best idea. I did thank them for waking me up, as a police officer went by just as they did so. My friend found me a few minutes later, and as we left, the businessmen waved and wished me a good trip. Plenty of friendly Brits in England!)

American By Birth(s)

, , , , | Friendly | March 16, 2016

(I just moved back to my home town. My mom and I are shopping. My mom walks away to get something while I am standing with the cart. A Muslim couple walks in. The woman is wearing a hijab. Another couple I know who live in my town, who are known to be racist, walks into the store, as well.)

Racist: “Go home, you d*** terrorist! This is a Christian nation! You foreigners are taking food stamps and welfare away from pure white Americans who need it!”

Woman: “I hope you know that I am American and I was born in the United States.”

Racist: “Yeah, right. The only true Americans are Christians!”

(I feel the need to intervene.)

Me: “You are not acting very Christian-like! Jesus loves everyone!” *to the Muslim woman* “I am sorry, miss. Not all us are like this.”

Woman: “I know, sweetheart.”

(My mother comes back and then gasps.)

Mother: “I can’t believe it!” *grabs my arm and pulls me towards the Muslim woman* “Honey, this woman is the doctor that delivered you as a baby!”

Woman: “Oh, wow! How are old are you now?”

Me: “21.”

Woman: “Wait, are you by any chance [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes, I am!”

Woman: “You are the first baby I ever delivered! I never forgot the name of the first baby I delivered!”

(The racist couple huffed and stomped off while we all caught up!)