Inching Closer To The Haircut You Actually Want

, , , , , | Working | January 2, 2019

(I get my hair cut maybe once every six to nine months or so and while I usually try and stick to the same people, it’s a lot more difficult when you don’t go very frequently. I also have thicker, pseudo-curly hair which can be somewhat difficult to manage. It usually grows to my neck between cuts, so I’ve learned it’s easier to have it thinned out while they cut it, which actually winds up feeling really nice for me as it doesn’t it doesn’t quite grow back right. With the few “regular” barbers and hairdressers I’ve had this isn’t a problem… for everyone else, though, this usual exchange occurs.)

Hairdresser: “Hi! How do you want it today?”

Me: “Down to about a quarter of an inch all the way around, trimmed square at the neck, no sideburns, and please thin it out while you’re at it.”

Hairdresser: “Are you sure? A quarter of an inch is really short, and your hair doesn’t look like it needs to be thinned.”

Me: *still smiling* “I’m sure. I don’t get it cut very often, so cutting it that low helps it grow back the way I like. Also, it’s thicker than it looks, and it won’t grow back right if I don’t get it thinned out. I just like the feeling. I know that some people don’t know how a quarter looks, but I actually like it, so it’s okay. I promise.”

Hairdresser: *usually running their fingers through their hair at this point* “I don’t knoooow! I still think a quarter of an inch is too little, and this definitely doesn’t need to be thinned. I’ll just cut it down to about an inch and you can tell me how that looks, all right?”

Me: *sighing* “All right.”

(Then they proceed to cut my hair, having a difficult time with it being thicker as they cut it, having to switch manually to scissors, combing and cutting it down despite my already having combed out the tangles. They generally get tangled up as they have to keep parsing my hair back and forth, taking an extra ten minutes just to work on getting the hair down to an inch.)

Hairdresser: *pleased and showing me the results* “See? That’s about an inch; how’s that look?”

Me: “I’d actually prefer it to be down to a quarter of an inch and—“ *running my fingers through my hair* “—can you please still thin it out? It’d feel really nice for me.”

Hairdresser: *usually sighing* “Well, okay, but now that it’s already down to an inch it’s going to take me a little longer, okay? It’s such a shame to waste such nice hair.”

(None of them have ever been downright rude to me, and it’s a hard enough job with what is demanded of them. I also entirely understand that people genuinely don’t understand how long or short their hair looks on themselves, so I understand these feelings. But it still sucks to have this interaction almost every time I go to get it done and I don’t have someone that’s not willing to argue over it.)

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Cut The Hair, Not The Bureaucracy

, , , , | Right | May 10, 2018

(I am sitting in a barber shop waiting for my turn. This place is part of a chain and everyone is asked their phone number and name to go in their system.)

Hairdresser: “Welcome to [Store]! Have you checked in online?”

Customer: “No. I’m just here for a haircut.”

Hairdresser: “Okay, can I get your phone number?”


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Budged More Than A Few Inches

, , , , | Romantic | May 8, 2018

(I’m at the salon getting my hair cut with my stylist who I have been going to for nearly five years. We know each other quite well and both have a similar, snarky sense of humor. The stylist at the chair to our left brings over her new client, a stunning young woman in her 20s, with beautiful, thick blonde hair down to about the bottom of her waist.)

Other Stylist: “So, what are you looking for today?”

Client: “I just want about two inches taken off.”

(She then indicates with her hand what would be between four to six inches. My stylist and I lock eyes in the mirror and try not to laugh. The stylist and client go off to the sinks.)

Me: “Her boyfriend is SOOOOO lucky!”

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The Salon Doesn’t Make The Cut, Part 2

, , | Working | December 28, 2017

(I go to my regular place to get my hair cut, and maybe my beard trimmed. Do bear in mind that I’m a guy in his 20s with a very straightforward haircut; it’s as vanilla as it gets. It’s also worth noting I’m on pretty good terms with the girl usually working there, but this time I see a rather sour-looking older woman.)

Me: “Hi, are you busy or can you fit me in?”

(She gives me the go-ahead. I quickly explain what I need done and the haircut begins. All seems to be in order until I notice my hair is starting to get a weird mohawk shape.)

Me: *in a casual, cheery tone* “Hey, sorry, could you please take that off the top there so it’s level? Also, just a reminder that I don’t like bangs, so those would need to be removed.”

Hairdresser: “Oh, no, I’m not doing that.”

Me: “What? “

Hairdresser: *rudely* “That’s stupid; I’m not giving a dumb haircut like that.”

(While I’m a very social and friendly guy, I also tend to have a short fuse when provoked. I feel myself getting mad, so I just stand up, take off the apron, and grab my coat.)

Hairdresser: “What are you doing?”

Me: *mad, but trying to maintain a civil tone* “I came in to pay to get my hair cut the way I like it. Whether you like my taste or not doesn’t really matter here; you can’t just refuse to do what I asked. Here’s the money, and bye.”

(She tried to stammer something, but I just went outside before she could finish, cooled off for a bit, then went to a new place I knew of about two minutes away. There were two girls around my age working there, and we all had a laugh when I told them why I’d seemed so pissed upon entering. They also actually did my hair the way I wanted them to. I’ve been their regular since.)



The Salon Doesn’t Make The Cut

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Call-Back Attack

, , , , , | Right | October 3, 2017

(I work as a secretary for a fairly high-end salon.)

Me: “[Salon], how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I think I missed a call from your number and wanted to call you back and make sure.”

Me: *hasn’t made any outgoing calls* “No, ma’am, but if you would tell me the reason for your call, perhaps I could help?”

Caller: “Oh, no! I’ll wait! You can call me back.”

Me: “But, ma’am…”

Caller: “It’s okay. You can call me back.”

Me: *flabbergasted* “Okay. Goodbye.”

(I learned later that this woman made four of these calls, and all she really wanted was to reschedule her appointment, which I could have done if she had said anything.)

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