We Expect Better From Hairdressers

, , , , | Working | June 14, 2017

(I am a gay trans man, but due to being camp and my face structure, people still sometimes read me as female. I’m currently having my hair cut.)

Hairdresser #1: “I was surprised when that customer’s wife came to meet him! With those tight trousers, I was sure he was gay!”

Hairdresser #2: “I know! It’s so hard to tell who’s gay and who’s normal these days!”

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Bangs Goes That Sale

| Working | May 24, 2017

(I had a fantastic experience at a high end salon a month-and-a-half or so prior and got a short, asymmetrical cut that I like a lot. The hairdresser who did it suggested it when I didn’t know what I wanted and agreed to my alteration of it — a straight fringe across my forehead. I show up for my appointment and the woman who had done my hair the first time is no longer employed there. I agree to a new hairdresser.)

Me: “I really just want this cleaned up a bit. It’s grown out some and I really need my bangs cut straight across again.”

Hairdresser: “This haircut will look horrible with your bangs cut straight across. I’m not going to do it.”

Me: “Just trust me here; the last girl who did my hair was hesitant to do it, too, but I promise that it looks really cute with my face shape and does look good with this haircut.”

Hairdresser: “I’m not going to do it. I’ll trim your hair, but this cut will look awful if I cut your bangs.”

Me: “I know that it’s different than what you usually do with a haircut like this, but I really want my bangs cut straight.”

Hairdresser: “No. I’m not going to cut them.”

(She ended up not cutting my bangs at all and I had to do them at home! I haven’t been back to that salon since.)

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Don’t Lose Your Head (And Shoulders)

| Right | May 17, 2017

(There is a woman in line in front of me. I’m in a hair supply store that sells a variety of things including several brands of shampoo. In fact, there is a whole aisle just for shampoo. The following happens between the person at the front and the customer in front of me:)

Customer: “Where is the purple shampoo?”

Worker: “Well, ma’am, the shampoo aisle is right over there.” *points to shampoo*

Customer: “I know that but I’m looking for a certain one.”

Worker: “Okay, ma’am, do you know the brand?”

Customer: “It’s the purple one.”

Worker: “Well, there is no brand called ‘purple.’ At least, we don’t carry it if there is.”

Customer: “I JUST WANT THE PURPLE SHAMPOO! WHY CAN’T I HAVE IT?”

Worker: “Okay, ma’am, could you describe it to me so maybe I can help?”

Customer: “THE PURPLE ONE! MY HAIRDRESSER SAID GET THE PURPLE ONE!”

Worker: “Ma’am, there are many shampoos we have that are purple in color.”

Customer: “ARE YOU STUPID? I’M ASKING FOR THE PURPLE SHAMPOO! P-U-R-P-L-E! PURPLE!”

(This goes on for a while before the worker goes and gets a random shampoo that is obviously purple in color and sells it to the woman. Then I walk up to the register.)

Me: “Yes, I need the purple shampoo.”

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Trying To Hang Up At The Appointed Time

| Working | April 24, 2017

(I call up the local hairdressing salon.)

Me: “Hi! I was wondering if you have any available times today.”

Receptionist: “No, sorry. We can fit you in tomorrow morning, if you’d like?”

Me: “No, that’s okay. I only have today free, so I was just trying my luck. Thanks anyway!”

Receptionist: “How about 9:00 am?”

Me: “What, today?”

Receptionist: “Tomorrow.”

Me: “No, I can’t make it tomorrow. Thanks anyway! Bye then-”

Receptionist: “9:30?”

Me: “No… Bye for now-”

Receptionist: “10:00 am?”

Me: “Um, no?”

Receptionist: “Can you hold the line, please?”

Me: *mostly curious to see why she would want me to hold, since this discussion is going nowhere* “Okay, sure.”

(I hold for a few minutes, and then the boss comes on the line.)

Boss: “Hi. We cannot fit you in today.”

Me: “Yes, I realise that.”

Boss: “We do not have free time.”

Me: “I know… I understood that when it was first explained.”

Boss: “We can fit you in tomorrow?”

Me: “No, but thank you. I’m only free today. Anyway, bye for now-”

Boss: “Well, before you hang up, I’d just like to let you know we are open tomorrow.”

Me: “Um, that’s great, thanks. Bye now!”

Boss: “Just in case you didn’t know. So give us a call if you want to come in tomorrow.”

Me: “Okay, bye!”

(I hung up before she could say it AGAIN. They must have been incredibly desperate to book appointments for the following day!)

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Conditioned For A Law-Suit

| Right | April 17, 2017

(I am getting my monthly haircut when a well-dressed young female customer walks in.)

Customer: *to Receptionist, extremely nicely* “I need to get my hair straightened today as well. I have a engagement party to attend. Can the stylist cover me now?”

Receptionist: “We are booked for the next two hours, but if you come by then, we can help you.”

Customer: “Oh, but I need to leave in an hour. Can you accommodate?”

Stylist: *walks over* “It will take three hours for the straightening and two days for the hair to settle.”

Customer: *slightly annoyed* “Oh, can’t you do in some super fast way?”

Stylist: *obviously tired, but politely* “No, ma’am. But tell you what, we should give you a quick conditioning and you can come by in the evening for the treatment.”

Customer: *a little more than slightly annoyed* “How much would that be?”

Receptionist: “200 rupees.” *about $5*

Customer: *suddenly going back to nice mode* “Can you give it to me as complimentary? I promise to be a regular.”

(After a five-minute back-and-forth, the receptionist gives in and assigns a shampoo girl for a free conditioning.)

Customer: *sweetest voice ever* “Thank you. I promise I will be a regular and spend lots of money here.”

(I am just about done and go in for a quick rinse next to the female customer. I have my eyes closed when suddenly:)

Customer: “OWWW. THAT WATER IS TOO HOT!” *gets up splashing water over me, which is obviously not hot*

Shampoo Girl: “Sorry, ma’am. I will adjust it down.”

Customer: “OWWW, STILL IT’S STILL TOO HOT!”

(This cycle goes on two-three times until…)

Customer: *yelling at receptionist* “YOU HAVE INCOMPETENT PEOPLE HERE. MY DAD IS A LAWYER. I WILL DRAG YOU TO COURT.”

(A senior stylist steps in…)

Customer: *eyes rolled up, continuously mumbling to herself* “I will drag these people to court. My dad is a lawyer.”

(I complete my haircut and am waiting for my wife to pick me up.)

Me: *to Shampoo Girl, who is shivering outside* “Don’t worry; she’s crazy.”

(Next month, when I came back, I heard the crazy customer tried to pull off the same stunt in other salons in the area and is effectively banned from all three upscale chains across the country.)

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