The Hairs Are Out Of Place

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It’s a week or two before Christmas, and like usual, my mother has taken my brothers to get their hair cut. Although I’m not getting my hair cut myself, I tag along since we’re going gift shopping afterwards. As my youngest brother is sitting in the chair, the lady across the aisle from him is holding a particularly loud conversation with her hairdresser, who is agreeing with what she says to keep her calm, although he doesn’t actually agree with her at all.)

Lady: “Oh, I just hate Christmas!”

Hairdresser: “Why’s that?”

Lady: “It’s such a stressful time of year! I mean, you’re expected to buy gifts, put up a tree, decorate, and to top it all off, the wives have to cook the meals and host the family!”

Hairdresser: “Yes, it can be hard, can’t it?”

Lady: “I don’t get why we can’t all just up and leave! Why should we have to put up with this dratted holiday? It’s not a holiday at all! We have to slave away in the kitchens for hours, and what do we get for it? It’s a social issue; that’s what it is.”

Hairdresser: “It is hard. I would agree with you there.”

Lady: “Honestly, why people bother. They need a life; that’s what they need.”

(By this stage, I had had enough, as Christmas is my favourite holiday and don’t enjoy it being dissed. Against my better judgement – and somewhat to my mother’s horror – I step in.)

Me: “Excuse me, lady. ”

Lady: “You talking to me?”

Me: “Yes, I am talking to you. I appreciate that Christmas can be a stressful time. You don’t have to enjoy it. If you don’t, then don’t celebrate it. But please, the rest of us love and enjoy Christmas. In case you haven’t noticed, this hairdresser shop has both tinsel and lights up, as well as a tree, and has carols playing in the background. I think I am speaking for all of us here when I say that we love Christmas, and we don’t appreciate having our holiday ruined by someone who is too much of a Scrooge to realise what the holiday is all about.”

Lady: “Well I never! [Hairdresser], kick this young girl out at once! I won’t have her treating me in such a way!”

Hairdresser: “Actually, ma’am, she’s a regular here, and has had her hair cut here every year since she was born. Also, she has a point. You’ve done nothing but complain about this time of year which is supposed to be about love, generosity, peace, kindness, and joy. You have spent the past 30 minutes disturbing our other customers and potentially ruining their holiday season with your miserable ways. If it weren’t for the fact that you’ve only had half your hair cut, it is sopping wet and you’re under the hair dryer, I would have kicked you out myself a good 15 minutes ago for being a public disturbance. Now please, allow me to finish your haircut in peace and then leave the premises immediately.”

Lady: “This is disgraceful! Not in the spirit of Christmas at all! I’m leaving!”

Not In A Good State To Come In

| Raleigh, NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Time

(I am working the front desk, and the phone rings. It is about 2:45 in the afternoon.)

Caller: “Hi. I was wondering if [Stylist] has any appointments today.”

Me: “Sorry, we don’t have a stylist by that name here, but I could make you an appointment with someone else. The earliest we can fit you in is 3:15.”

Caller: “Great, I’ll take it.”

(I make the appointment. 3:15 comes, and the girl does not show up. At 3:30 I give her a call back.)

Me: “Hi, [Caller]. Are you still planning to come in?”

Caller: “Yeah, 3:15 right?”

Me: “Yes, but it’s 3:35 now.”

Caller: “No, it’s only 12:35.”

Me: “This is [Salon] in Raleigh, North Carolina.”

Caller: “Oh… I’m in Idaho.”

Some Boys Are Made Of Sugar And Spice

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Language & Words

(I am waiting for a hair cut. Next in the queue is a boy that can’t be older than four or five.)

Little Boy: “I want you to cut my hair spicy!”

Hairdresser: “…’spicy?'”

Little Boy: “Yeah, spicy! Like, super spicy!”

Hairdresser: “…don’t you mean ‘spiky?'”

Little Boy: “That too!”