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Did I Hair You Properly?

| Fairfield County, CT, USA | Family & Kids

(I enter the salon with very long, thick, unruly, curly hair. I haven’t been taking the best care of it so my ends are pretty split and dry. I decide on a dramatic change – chop it all off and go with a super short bob. Despite some damage, my hair’s length, thickness, and texture never failed to impress people.)

Hairdresser: “Wow, such thick pretty hair! Oh but I know you’re ready for a change! The new cut will be perfect!”

Me: “Yes I’m really excited!”

Hairdresser: “Okay I’m going to cut off the majority of your hair to start before we wash and condition, and get to the actual haircut.”

(The hairdresser proceeds to put my hair into a ponytail and cut away. As she is doing this, a regular’s kid, a little girl of about seven, stops behind me to watch. From the reflection in the mirror I can see her eyes go giant in amazement. The hairdresser is just about done chopping off the last bit of length.)

Little Girl: “HER HAIR!”

Hairdresser: “Yes, honey, she’s cutting it off. She wants a new look.”

Little Girl: “CAN I HAVE IT?!”

Hairdresser: “Go sit down!”

(The little girl walked off disappointed…)

Oily Hair Changes

| Norfolk, VA, USA | Extra Stupid

(I am a customer in a popular chain haircut place in a strip mall near my home when a customer walks in…)

Customer: “Do y’all do hair?”

Employee #1: *holding my hair, and a pair of scissors* “Yes. Yes, we do.”

Employee #2: *under her breath* “No, we just do oil changes here. Pull your car around back…”

Will Likely Want Something For Three

| NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids

(I am a teenage girl. Over the summer and on school breaks, I work part-time as a receptionist in a hair salon run by a family friend in a Jersey Shore resort town. It is a slow Thursday morning in early September when the phone rings. I stop folding towels to answer it.)

Me: “[Salon], [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I would like to lodge a formal complaint.”

(We have no protocols for formal complaints. We are a tiny salon and our clientele are mostly friends of my boss and locals.)

Me: “All right, how can I help you?”

Caller: “My son, [Name], was booked for an appointment this morning at 8:30 and the shop wasn’t open yet!”

(My boss sometimes comes in a little late, but our limited clientele are very understanding. Obviously, this woman isn’t.)

Me: “I’m very sorry about that, ma’am. Would you like to reschedule your son’s appointment?”

Caller: *ignoring me* “I just don’t understand why you would book us for an appointment when no one is going to be there! My son walked there by himself very early in the morning, and it’s very dangerous on the roads!”

Me: “I’m very sorry about that, ma’am. We have open times this afternoon if you’d like to reschedule [Name]’s appointment.”

Caller: “MY SON IS THREE YEARS OLD! HE SHOULDN’T BE THERE IF NO ONE ELSE IS!”

Me: “If your son is three years old, why did he walk across dangerous, heavily-trafficked roads by himself?”

Caller: “HOW DARE YOU, YOU LITTLE B****! I HOPE YOU DIE!” *click*

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