I am a personal trainer working with a client. Another member is removing all the dumbbells from the rack, testing each weight, and then leaving them on the floor. When he’s decided on the one he wants, he just walks away, leaving the rest discarded on the floor.

Me: “Aren’t you going to lift those back into place?”

Member: *Disgusted* “I don’t come to the gym to lift things!”

I’m working on repairing a large digital printer for an office when the power goes out one afternoon in a thunderstorm. I have gutted the thing and have parts spread out all over the floor. The lights are off, all computers are down, and this office worker walks up to me:

Worker: “I need you to make me a couple of copies.”

Me: “…um.”

We recently switched to our winter hours at the athletic center I work at. A patron comes in, apparently unaware of the changes. I explain the new schedule.

Patron: “Nobody told me the hours changed! How are we supposed to know when to come?“

Me: “We keep our website updated with all the changes.”

Patron: “Only nerds keep track of the website! No one has time to look things up!”

Me: “Okay, have a nice day!”

I work at a gym and am currently answering calls.

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Gym]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Uh, yeah. Do you know if [Restaurant] near you guys is open?”

Me: “Sorry, sir. I do not.”

Caller: “Oh. Well, could you check for me?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Caller: “Ya. Can you walk over there and see if they are?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I can’t leave the building. I would suggest looking up their number and calling them to find out.”

Caller: “How would I find out their number?”

Me: “They probably have it listed on Google.”

Caller: “Can you do it for me? Call them and then call me back and let me know?”

Me: “Sorry. We are quite busy at the moment, and since this is unrelated to the gym, I won’t be able to assist you.”

He begrudgingly accepted that answer, muttering something along the lines of how I was providing poor customer service. I looked up his number in our system and no memberships popped up, so he wasn’t even a member of the gym!

I have gone to my local gym at a quiet time on a weekday as I have been blessed with a day off. There is only one other woman in the weightlifting machines section of the gym. I start using one of the machines when the woman comes up to me.

Woman: “Excuse me, I was using that machine!”

Me: “Sorry! I didn’t realize.”

No worries, it happens. I move on to another machine.

Woman: “And that one!”

Okay, so she must be doing a super-set between both machines. I move on to a third one. The woman just tuts and stares daggers at me.

Woman: “No, no, no! I am using that!”

Me: “You’re using all three of these machines?”

Woman: “I am using all of them!”

She gestures to the entire corner of the gym with the weightlifting machines.

Me: “You can’t use all of them at the same time. Let me know which ones are part of your current set and I’ll wait for you to finish.”

Woman: “Ugh, no. That won’t do. You can’t use any of these until I finish my workout.”

Me: “Sorry, but no. This isn’t your private gym. I’ll work out where I want if the machine is free.”

With that, I put in my headphones and start my set, ignoring her staring daggers at me with her arms crossed for almost a minute before she stomps off. Soon, she is back with one of the gym staff.

Staff: “Excuse me, sir, this member claims you’re harassing her?”

Me: “Actually, it’s the other way around. She doesn’t want me to use any of the machines until she’s finished her workout.”

The staff member turns to the woman.

Staff: “Ma’am, is that true?”

Woman: “Honestly, I come here at this time of the day so I can have the place to myself! I shouldn’t have to share with him and his sweat!”

Staff: “Ma’am, this isn’t a private gym. You have to share the facilities with other members. You can’t reserve all the machines.”

Woman: “But it’s just until I finish my workout! He’s a man; he can go use the free weights!”

Staff: “That’s not how it works, ma’am. Any member can use any section of the gym they wish. Please only reserve the machine you’re currently using and let other members exercise in peace.”

With that, the woman hmphs and storms off, leaving me and the staff member staring at each other, bewildered.

A couple of minutes later, the fire alarm starts blasting and a member of staff hurries over shouting for everyone to evacuate and not to go back to the lockers for our belongings. The few members of staff and members gather in the parking lot waiting for the inevitable fire truck. I am looking inside the gym while we wait, trying to spot evidence of a fire, when, shockingly, I see the woman inside working out! The member of staff runs back in to fetch her, and I can see them have some sort of argument. After a few moments, he comes back out, looking even more bewildered. He approaches his manager, and I can hear the conversation:

Staff: “She… she pulled the fire alarm! She said she wanted the gym to herself as she expects at this time of day. There’s no fire!”

A firetruck still arrives, and the firefighters confirm there’s no fire. When we’re allowed in, I can see the manager and staff member having an argument with the woman.

At the end of my workout, I can’t help but ask the staff member what happened.

Staff: “Oh, she’s definitely banned. She’s also facing criminal charges. She pulled the fire alarm in the woman’s locker room just so she could get the place to herself. I’m pretty sure she’s getting a hefty fine for that!”

Definitely the most memorable workout I have had in a while!