Will Not Accept This Locker-Room Behavior

| Germany | Right | July 13, 2016

(I work in a gym, and we got a new system to lock our lockers two months ago.)

Customer: “What is this s***?” *holding up the card she needs to open the locker*

Me: “Oh, it’s our new locker-system. You don’t have to get one key for each locker now, you can just go to any locker you want and unlock it.”

Customer: “But why didn’t you tell me before!? I was just trying to open these d*** lockers for a half hour!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we already changed it two months ago. I can’t keep asking everyone if they know how to open it, but I will come with you and show it to you.”

Customer: “No, I don’t have time anymore! Just give me my money back for this visit and let me leave!”

Me: “You are paying monthly like everyone else, so I can’t give you anything back.”

Customer: “I WANT 1/30TH OF MY MONTHLY PAYMENT BECAUSE I JUST LOST THIS DAY BECAUSE OF YOU!”

(At this point I call my manager, and he explains him why he can’t get his money back. The customer breaks his card and just walks away.)

Manager: “Do you know his name?”

Me: “Yes, why?”

Manager: “These cards cost €30 each; just put it on his next monthly payment and call me if he calls and complains…”

Crazier Than Anything You Get On TV

| USA | Working | July 10, 2016

(I have been hired as a cleaner in a gym. Even though I’m only part time on minimum wage, the work is backbreaking. I don’t mind the wage or the work, but I do mind the boss being a control freak. I sometimes look at the TVs while I’m polishing the mirrors, and he can’t stand it.)

Boss: “I’m watching you. Don’t watch TV. You’re not being paid for that! I’m watching you. I pay you to clean and nothing else! I’m watching you.”

Me: *creeped out*

(Please note this gym is new and sparkling clean, with no dust or grime anywhere. If it were dirty, I’d understand his anger, but it’s clean so I’m a bit miffed. I go to dust the equipment, and am facing the TV but looking down at my work.)

Boss: *swoops* “I saw THAT! Stop watching TV!”

Me: “I only glanced at it.”

Boss: “You were watching. I saw you.”

(Fed up by his craziness, I walked out and never returned. He’s still looking for another cleaner, and I pity whomever he hires next.)

You Are Inspirationally Bad

, | Andover, MA, USA | Learning | June 25, 2016

(I and a friend are practicing serves for badminton in gym. My friend hasn’t been doing so well on hitting the birdie, and eventually this exchange occurs.)

Friend: “I believe in the heart of the cards!”

Me: “There aren’t any cards here.”

Friend: “Then I believe in the heart of the racket!”

(He whiffs yet another serve.)

Me: *deadpan* “Your racket has arrhythmia.”

Dandruff And Huff About It

| Raleigh, NC, USA | Right | May 3, 2016

(I work at the front desk of a gym that has locker rooms stocked with mouthwash, deodorant, soap, and hairspray. Our showers are stocked with soap and shampoo. One of our members, a middle-aged man, approaches me at the desk.)

Member: “Excuse me, but why does the mouthwash in the showers taste like shampoo?”

Me: “I haven’t actually been in the men’s showers myself, but I know the women’s showers do not have a mouthwash dispenser — only shampoo and soap.”

Member: “The mouthwash definitely tasted like shampoo. I hope it was mouthwash…”

Me: *turning to my male coworker a few feet away* “[Coworker], do we keep mouthwash in the men’s showers?”

Coworker: “No… there’s only shampoo and soap in there.”

Member: *with a worried look on his face* “Oh. Um, thank you. Bye now.”

(The member leaves immediately.)

Coworker: “Do you think he was joking?”

Me: “No, he was definitely serious. That guy gargled shampoo.”

Mate Late

| Austria | Learning | April 22, 2016

(I’m the trainer in a Judo class for kids. It’s the end of the lesson and in order to do this it’s tradition that the children sit down in a row to bow. The command for this is “Mate”)

Me: “Mate!”

(The children sit down, one child is waving his hands and shouts.)

Child: “Teacher, I have to say something!”

Me: “After ‘Mate’ it’s supposed to be silent. I think we have to practice this. Everyone to the wall at the other side! Okay, let’s try it again: Mate!”

(The children run to the wall. After the command they return and sit down, the same child is waving his hands and shouts.)

Child: “Teacher, I have to say something!”

Me: *sigh* “Everyone back to the wall! Okay, once more: Mate!”

(The same thing happens once again.)

Me: *to the child* “You DO realize that we repeat this because of you? You can ask your question after that, okay?”

Me: “Okay, once more: Mate!”

(This time everything works and we can bow to end the lesson.)

Me: “[Child], what do you want to say?”

Child: “I just want to say that I have to leave two minutes earlier, as I need to catch the bus.”

Me: *face-floor*

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