It’s Going To Be A Long Night

| IN, USA | Right | January 6, 2017

(I work at a 24 hour gym. We are the only gym in the area that is open 24 hours and we advertise that as our main seller — it is on our billboards, buildings, website, fliers, etc. One evening I got a phone call:)

Me: “[Gym], [Location]. This is [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I was looking at your website. How late are you open?”

Me: “We are open 24/7”.

Customer: “So the website is not lying to me?”

Me: “No, sir, it is not.”

Customer: “So if I come in at 3:00 am that is fine?”

Me: “Yes, sir, it is.”

Customer: “So you guys are open 24 hours.”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Is your pool also open 24 hours?”

Me: “Yes, sir, and the basketball court, too.”

Customer: “So if I come in at 12:00 am and swam for an hour then played basketball for an hour that is completely okay?”

Me: “Yes, sir, it is.”

Customer: “Huh, so you really are open 24 hours?”

Me: “Yes, sir, we are.”

Customer: “What if I bring my son?”

Me: “Still 24 hours, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, so just double checking. Open 24 hours right?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, we are, sir.”

Customer: “Cool, thanks, bye!”

Conversation In Headlock Gridlock

| VA, USA | Right | December 31, 2016

(I am working at the desk, when I get a phone call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. My name is Kate. How may I help you?”

Man: “Oh, well, don’t you sound cheerful this morning! How cute. I knew a girl named Kate… Oh, wow. Can I spill my guts to you?”

(I’m not quite sure what to say, almost expecting this to be a prank call.)

Me: “Um… sure?”

Man: “Well, I know a girl named Kate… and she was a muscle builder type of girl. I’m sure you have those… right? Well, you should’ve seen this. One time at a pool party, she put me in a scissor head lock. She held me there for so long… I couldn’t even breathe. It was crazy. She held me in a scissor head lock.”

(The guy on the phone continued to repeat the fact that she had held him in a scissor head lock while she was in a bikini.)

Me: “Oh, well, that’s quite interesting. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Man: “But you would’ve laughed, right? To see a 21-year-old girl put a 58-year-old man in a scissor head lock… Just tell me you would’ve laughed. I want to hear you say it. And then you would have told her to go and do it to someone else, right?”

(Genuinely creeped out and completely puzzled as to why this conversation is happening, I ask him again how I can help him.)

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid I must move on past this topic. Now, is there anything I can help you with?”

Man: “Yes, I was just wondering how much your memberships are.”

Me: “Okay, sir… Let me direct you to someone in that department.”

(Needless to say, I was confused for the rest of the day.)

Not A ‘Good Morning’ Person

| Norfolk, England, UK | Right | December 29, 2016

(I am working on reception, doing 11-hour shifts to cover the Christmas break.)

Me: “Hello!”

Customer: “Good morning.”

(He hands me his membership cards.)

Me: “Are these for the gym?”

(We are a leisure centre so we have other facilities in the building, plus I don’t recognise him. We are a small centre and have our regulars.)

Customer: “Yes! And I am still waiting for you to say ‘Good Morning’ back!”

(He just glared at me and made me feel like a piece of crap. Out of nervousness, I laughed, then swiped his card, said ‘good morning,’ and took his debit card payment. He snatched the card out of my hand, grunted, and went off to the gym. I mouthed at my colleague who was standing behind him ‘what a dick!’ which made me feel better. No need for people to be like that.)

Nun The Wiser

| BC, Canada | Working | September 30, 2016

(I’m the employee in this story. I’m working at a gym’s front desk, signing in members and guests. My coworker is tired of standing, so he has knelt down so that the counter comes up to his chest. Two girls come in to be checked in.)

Coworker: “Hi, guys! Don’t mind me; I’ve just decided to do all my work on my knees today!”

Me: *quietly, to my coworker* “You know who else works on their knees all day.”

Customer: “Who?”

Me: *after a pause* “Nuns.”

Not Acting Glassy

| Taiwan | Learning | September 12, 2016

(I am 12 years old and already wear high-prescription glasses. I’m also not very popular. The gym is huge with four courts. A ball hits my face and my glasses came off, yet everyone pays no attention and continues play down the court.)

Me: *gets down and feels for glasses* “Please help; I can’t find my glasses.”

(No response and I continue to feel around.)

Me: *to those on another court* “Hello, can you please help? My glasses fell off and I can’t find them.”

(No response and still feeling around, those on my court are coming back to me.)

Me: “Please STOP! My glasses are somewhere down here; don’t step on them. I can’t find them. Help, please!”

(Still being ignored, I grab one of them and get brushed away.)

Me: *screaming very loudly* “[Teacher]! Please help! My glasses fell off on the court and I can’t find them and everyone is ignoring me!”

Teacher: “What?!” *blows whistle* “Everyone stop what you’re doing.” *they all do* “What do I hear about no one helping this poor girl find her glasses? You better not have damaged them.”

(The teacher made those on my court apologise and find them. Thankfully, no damage. The teacher then gave them a large scolding about their behavior.)

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