I am working in the gym, and I overhear this guy “warning” a girl.

Guy: “Hey, sorry to bother you, but I just overheard that guy in the red shirt.”

He points at my friend who is across the gym.

Guy: “He was saying some extremely crass stuff about you in the locker room. It was really graphic. He was talking about your purple spandex and how much he liked it. I couldn’t just listen and not tell you because you deserve to know what certain people are really like.”

Listening to this, I am furious. I saw this guy watching my friend and the girl talking in the gym — she had approached him — and I could tell he was jealous, mainly because he was complaining to someone else that he “wanted to get with her.”

He is making up this lie to throw my friend under the bus. I also know it’s a lie because I was just in the locker room and nothing of the sort was said; the dude he is lying about has years of showing that he is actually a really nice, respectful guy. There is also a very important third reason.

The guy finishes up his tall tale, and before the girl can respond, I scoff really loudly and say:

Me: “She knows you’re lying just to try to get in her pants. That guy would never say those kinds of things about her because she’s his sister, you moron.”

The look on the guy’s face is priceless. He goes pale and stammers:

Guy: “I… I must have got the guy mixed up.”

Girl: “Uh, you were very clear about pointing my brother out.”

Guy: “Then I must have gotten the girl he was talking about mixed up.”

Me: “She’s the only girl wearing purple spandex.”

The guy actually looked like he was about to cry, and I never saw him in the gym again after that.

I used to work as a lifeguard at a fitness center. Our policy was that any child who had not passed a swim test must be supervised by their parent or guardian while they were in the water. Many parents tried to use the lifeguards as free babysitters while they worked out or sat in the hot tub or sauna. Most parents would respect the rule when we told them to supervise their kids. One instance when they did not happened on a Saturday morning, which was often our busiest time.

I noticed that a man had left his young daughter — I would guess younger than five — alone in the pool while he went to the hot tub. I was the guard stationed closest to the hot tub, so I went over to tell him the policy.

Me: “Sir, you cannot leave your daughter unattended in the pool.”

Father: “It’s okay. She’s just in the shallow end.”

Me: “Our policy is that parents must attend any child that has not passed the swim test.”

Father: “I can watch her from here.”

That was false; you could barely see the pool when you were in the hot tub.

Me: “I’m sorry, but we need you to stay within arm’s reach of her in case she needs help.”

Father: *Now angry* “Isn’t your job to watch her?”

Me: “Yes, but we need parents to supervise their kids because it’s dangerous for them to be alone.”

Father: “This is ridiculous! I can watch her from here.”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but you need to stay near her. If you have any questions about the policy, you can go and talk to my manager.”

He went and grabbed his daughter from the pool and went to talk to my manager. I didn’t see him again, but I was told what went down.

This guy went and yelled at my manager until she cried. She was the best manager I had there and was not the type to cry easily. This earned him a ban from the fitness center.

But the worst part of the story happened when a different manager told him to not come back. She noticed that his breath smelled like he had been drinking — right before he loaded his daughter in the car and drove away. We called the police on him, but I never found out if anything happened.

I teach children at a sports club, and we get a new member, age six. Her name has been changed.

Me: “Hello, nice to meet you. My name is [My Name], and you are?”

Anne Marie: “My name is Anne Marie.”

Me: *Checking the list* “Isn’t there supposed to be a line between Anne and Marie?”

Anne Marie: “No, people always think that, but it’s not. They also often call me Anne, but my name is Anne Marie!”

Me: “You are absolutely right.”

She has two lessons a week: one with me and my co-teacher and one with [Teacher]. I spot her a couple of weeks later, after her lesson with [Teacher].

Me: “Hey, Anne Marie, how’s it going?”

Anne Marie: “Fine… I guess…”

Me: “That doesn’t sound too cheerful. Is everything all right?”

Anne Marie: “[Teacher] keeps on calling me Anne.”

Me: “Did you tell her it’s Anne Marie?”

Anne Marie: “Yes, but she won’t listen!”

Me: “I’ll tell her for you. Don’t worry.”

I go to [Teacher].

Me: “Hey, [Teacher], I saw Anne Marie…”

Teacher: “Who?”

Me: “Anne Marie, the new girl.”

Teacher: “I have no Anne Marie in my class.” *Checks the list* “No, no Anne Marie… I do have an Anne.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s Anne Marie. I just wanted to let you know her name is Anne Marie, not Anne.”

Teacher: “No, it’s Anne. See? There’s no hyphen, so Marie is her middle name.”

Me: “You’d think that, but she told me her name is Anne Marie, not Anne. I’d like to think she knows her own name.”

Teacher: “Well, I ain’t got time for special treatment. Otherwise, all kids will want to be called by their middle names, as well!”

Yeah, the response stings, but the teacher is higher licensed, so what she says is final. (It doesn’t matter that I’ve been teaching for over twenty years and she started teaching three years ago…)

So, I go to my co-teacher, who’s been teaching for over sixty years and is equally licensed to [Teacher].

Co-Teacher: “Oh, yes, [Teacher] is a very stubborn know-it-all. I have an idea; just leave it to me.”

At our next lesson together, [Co-Teacher] decides to start the lesson. He does a roll call (without the names) and then starts the lesson.

Co-Teacher: “Anne, you start!”

I want to correct [Co-Teacher], but then…

Co-Teacher: “Anne Marie, what are you doing?”

Anne Marie looks confused.

Co-Teacher: “I called for Anne, didn’t I? And your name is not Anne but Anne Marie.”

Anne Marie: “But there is no one named Anne in the group.”

Co-Teacher: “Correct! So, that means no one starts until their name is called.”

Once in a while, during the lessons, he calls Anne Marie “Anne” on purpose and then gently repeats that Anne is not her name, so she doesn’t have to listen to Anne, just Anne Marie. Halfway, I join, as well.

Anne Marie: “Why is [Co-Teacher] calling for Anne if there is no Anne?”

Me: “He’s trying to tell you that you don’t have to listen to any other name but your own… unless there is an emergency. Is there an emergency?”

Anne Marie: “No.”

Co-Teacher: “Anne, you are up!”

Anne Marie looks at me.

Me: “Is that your name?”

Anne Marie: “No.”

Me: “Then I guess you don’t have to listen.”

Anne Marie: “But he’s the teacher!”

Me: “Which means he should know better. Using the right name is just basic respect.”

Co-Teacher: “Anne, come on!”

Anne Marie looks doubtful. 

Me: “Well?”

Anne Marie: “So… I don’t have to listen if he calls me Anne?”

Me: “Exactly!”

Co-Teacher: “Come on, Anne! We’re waiting!”

With the biggest grin she can muster, Anne Marie says:

Anne Marie: “I’m not Anne!”

Co-Teacher: “Oh? And what is your name, then?”

Anne Marie: “My name is Anne Marie!”

[Co-Teacher] tries to lure her out a few more times, but she understands the message. Now, the big test will be the next lesson, with [Teacher].

After the lesson:

Teacher: “What’s with Anne? She’s not listening at all anymore! She even said that Anne is not her name! I don’t know what to do anymore. I must go talk to her parents about this behavior!”

Me: “Really? We have no issue with her whatsoever.”

Teacher: “How is that possible?!”

Me: “Well… try using her name next time.”

Teacher: “But I am!”

Me: “Try using ‘Anne Marie’.”

Teacher: “But—”

Me: “Her name is Anne Marie.”

[Teacher] turned away, grumbling. The next time Anne Marie had a lesson from [Teacher], she left with the biggest grin ever. And yes, [Teacher] finally started using her real name.

I work at a gym. We have two types of lockers. We have the typical ones you can use with your own lock, and we have electronic lockers where you input a code of your choice. Some people forget which locker they used or forget their code, so we have a remote to override and open lockers when this happens. We are supposed to verify a belonging in the locker before we open it.

A member comes to the front desk and asks for assistance.

Member: “Hey, I forgot my code. Can you help me open my locker?”

Me: “Do you mind letting me know what’s in there?”

Member: *Pauses* “My stuff?”

Me: “Sorry. I meant, would you describe one of your belongings, please? Like the color or brand of your bag?”

Member: “Why?! Do you think I’m going to steal something?!”

Me: “I never said that, but it is a policy for me to verify before opening.”

Member: “Can’t you just open it? I’ll let you know if it’s mine or not.”

Me: “If anyone walked in and pointed to a locker, would you want me to just open it for them and allow them to take things without verifying first? I wouldn’t want to be held liable if your belongings were stolen.”

The member stares at me for a few seconds and then responds without making eye contact.

Member: “It’s a blue Nike bag and a black hoodie.”

I was alerted to this collection of stories by a client at the gym and realized I have the perfect story to add to it.

I am a staff/trainer/cleaner at my gym, so I am usually busy cleaning the machines when I don’t have other duties. I walk over to one of the machines to start cleaning it when a couple in designer workout gear comes over to me.

Gym Member #1: “You idiot! You ruined our TikTok! Now we have to start again!”

I am not an avid user of social media, and this is before TikTok is part of the social consciousness.

Me: *Confused* “Uh… what?”

Gym Member #2: “We were just about to finish up the perfect shot of our couple workout, and you had to go and ruin it!”

I then see their phone standing on a tripod, set up to make a video. The penny drops.

Me: “Oh, I see. Well, I work here, and I have my assigned tasks, which include cleaning the equipment. If you don’t want that in your shot, either change the angle or wait for me to finish.”

Gym Member #1: “You wouldn’t be saying that to us if you knew how many followers we have!”

Me: “And you wouldn’t be saying that to me if you knew I was the owner of the gym. Would you like to be banned?”

They stop and look shocked for a second, but then they think they’re being smart.

Gym Member #2: “Bulls***! No gym owner would be cleaning! That’s for the janitors.”

Me: “And it’s statements like that that make me realize why you need to have followers to validate yourselves. I’ll make sure your contracts are terminated without cancellation fees, but you can both leave right now, thank you.”

They argued and demanded I call the real manager or owner over, but they finally had to admit defeat when they realized I was not budging and that I really was the owner.

Owning a non-brand gym in a relatively rural part of the States where the nearest chain gym is easily thirty miles away means I never have to worry about running out of clients, and I never have to worry about discarding the undesirable ones.

Nothing gets your heart pumping like entitled customers! Check out more rats amongst the gym rats with this roundup: 23 Times Customers At The Gym Were A Bigger Pain Than The Workout!