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Will Not Accept This Locker-Room Behavior

| Germany | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(I work in a gym, and we got a new system to lock our lockers two months ago.)

Customer: “What is this s***?” *holding up the card she needs to open the locker*

Me: “Oh, it’s our new locker-system. You don’t have to get one key for each locker now, you can just go to any locker you want and unlock it.”

Customer: “But why didn’t you tell me before!? I was just trying to open these d*** lockers for a half hour!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we already changed it two months ago. I can’t keep asking everyone if they know how to open it, but I will come with you and show it to you.”

Customer: “No, I don’t have time anymore! Just give me my money back for this visit and let me leave!”

Me: “You are paying monthly like everyone else, so I can’t give you anything back.”

Customer: “I WANT 1/30TH OF MY MONTHLY PAYMENT BECAUSE I JUST LOST THIS DAY BECAUSE OF YOU!”

(At this point I call my manager, and he explains him why he can’t get his money back. The customer breaks his card and just walks away.)

Manager: “Do you know his name?”

Me: “Yes, why?”

Manager: “These cards cost €30 each; just put it on his next monthly payment and call me if he calls and complains…”

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Dandruff And Huff About It

| Raleigh, NC, USA | Extra Stupid

(I work at the front desk of a gym that has locker rooms stocked with mouthwash, deodorant, soap, and hairspray. Our showers are stocked with soap and shampoo. One of our members, a middle-aged man, approaches me at the desk.)

Member: “Excuse me, but why does the mouthwash in the showers taste like shampoo?”

Me: “I haven’t actually been in the men’s showers myself, but I know the women’s showers do not have a mouthwash dispenser — only shampoo and soap.”

Member: “The mouthwash definitely tasted like shampoo. I hope it was mouthwash…”

Me: *turning to my male coworker a few feet away* “[Coworker], do we keep mouthwash in the men’s showers?”

Coworker: “No… there’s only shampoo and soap in there.”

Member: *with a worried look on his face* “Oh. Um, thank you. Bye now.”

(The member leaves immediately.)

Coworker: “Do you think he was joking?”

Me: “No, he was definitely serious. That guy gargled shampoo.”

Please Stop ‘Schwer’-ing

| Germany | Language & Words

(I work in a climbing hall which contains a large boulder area where are three levels of difficulty marked with the letters S, M, L. This means ‘Schwer’, the highest difficulty, ‘Mittel’ which is a medium route to climb and ‘Leicht’ for the easiest options. There is a sign next to the entrance explaining the rating system and the whole word the letters stand for is written in small text under the difficulty-signs. A female customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Hi there, I have a question about the boulder difficulties written on the signs.”

Me: “Sure, go ahead.”

Customer: “First, why are the boulders rated with clothing sizes? And why are the ‘S’ routes so insane difficult? I didn’t even manage to do one of them?”

Me: “Miss, you realize the letters do not stand for small, medium, and large? In fact, there’s a sign two meters from you explaining the difficulties and it’s also written beneath every sign here. ‘S’ therefore is the most difficult thing you can do here.”

Customer: “I don’t care about your god-d*** f****** signs explaining s***! S,M,L are definite clothing sizes as they have always been! Now move you lazy a** and reassign those f****** signs so I can climb my ‘S’ routes as I want!”

Me: “I’m sorry, madam, that the standard system of rating boulders does not fit your expectations. Nevertheless, I cannot and will not change the standardised system as it would confuse every other customer. Also I have to ask you to watch your language as there are children close by.”

(By saying that I can see the customer is not going to accept the answer and indeed she goes off, shouting me names and threatening to push the stones into my butt if I won’t serve her the way she wants.)

Me: “Madam, please try to calm down and please stop swearing; it disturbs our other customers, especially the children!”

(The customer by now ignores me and is shouting in full voice about the system. The manager comes over and gets the customer escorted out by two coworkers.)

Manager: “So, let me guess. That lady could not get over the shock of hearing that S,M,L are not always clothing sizes, too?”

Me: “‘too’? You mean this was not the first time that happened?”

Manager: “Well, let’s say some women are a bit special about stuff concerning their clothes…”

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