Weekend Roundup: Don’t Mess With Employees

, , , | Right | February 19, 2012

Introducing Weekend Roundups: each week, we’ll be featuring some of our favorite stories from the Not Always Right archives.

Don’t Mess With Employees! This week, we feature five stories that teach misbehaving customers the consequences of messing with employees.

  1. In Real Hot Sauce Now:
    A young teenage employee decides her dignity is worth more than £3.71 and dealing with a cowardly manager.
  2. A Good Ol’ Fashioned A** Whoopin’:
    A customer tries to rough up an employee, but ends up getting roughed up by the manager instead.
  3. Hard Drugs And Harder Pharmacists:
    Teenage robber, meet Doug. Doug is our new pharmacy tech. Doug is also built like a fridge.
  4. Who’s Got The Power Now:
    Tech support is happy to support your technology. Supporting your potty mouth, not so much.
  5. Your Prank Got Spanked:
    A prank caller picks the wrong, well-armed store to call.
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Holding A Smoking Gun

| Right | January 31, 2012

(A customer is filling out a handgun license application.)

Customer: “It asks here if I have a misdemeanor for domestic violence.”

Me: “Yes, that is what it is asking you.”

Customer: “You can’t buy a gun if you have a domestic violence charge?”

Me: “Of course not. You can’t even legally be in this store.”

Customer: “What do you mean, ‘Of course not’? You f****** b****!”

Me: “Have a good one.”

Customer: *grabs paperwork, tears it up, and tosses it at me*

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Five Days Later

, , | Right | October 27, 2009

(A customer in their 50s walks into my pawn shop, which sells weapons.)

Customer: “Yeah, can you get me that shotgun behind the table?”

Me: “Sure, do you have your license and registration?”

Customer: “Yeah, right here.”

Me: “Thank you, sir. There’s a five-day waiting period for firearms. Come back soon.”

(He looks disappointed, but forks over the cash and walks out. Five days later…)

Customer: “Okay, dude, I’m back. Where’s the gun?”

Me: “Right here, sir…

(I make the transaction and hand him his shotgun.)

Me: “Have a nice day and come back soon!”

(About one minute after the customer leaves the store, I hear several loud shotgun blasts. I look through the window and the man is firing rounds into the air! He then runs into the store.)

Customer: “The zombie invasion has begun! It’s every man for himself!”

(I hide under the desk and press the silent alarm. Five minutes later, the police arrive, taser the guy, and bring him out of our backroom in cuffs. I work at an ice cream store now.)

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Do Not Mix: Empty Threats & Loaded Barrels

, , | Right | June 15, 2009

Customer: “Hello, I’m looking to get a handgun like this one.”

(The customer holds up a picture from the movie ‘Wanted’.)

Me: “All righty, we’ll have to order that one for you, but we can have it to you in a few weeks.”

Customer: “WHAT?! I NEED THE GUN BY NEXT WEEK! CAN’T YOU GET ME THE GUN BY NEXT WEEK?!”

Me: “You’ll have to deal with the waiting period, anyway. What exactly do you need it for so quickly?”

Customer: *suddenly calm again* “My friend and I are going to curve a bullet around his head for a YouTube video.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t sell you a gun, then. All you’ll do is kill your buddy and go to jail.”

Customer: “YOU’RE GOING TO GET ME THE GUN, OR I’M GOING TO TALK TO THE MANAGER!”

(The manager, who was in the room behind the counter, walks out with a shotgun on his shoulder.)

Manager: “You’re in my store, where I have literally hundreds of guns and thousands of rounds of ammunition. Are you really that stupid?”

(The customer looks around at the guns like he hadn’t noticed them before, and runs out of the store as my co-worker walks up.)

Co-Worker: “I love working here.”

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