Adding Some Weighty Maturity To The Situation

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Romantic | February 11, 2015

(My girlfriend and I are on a tight budget, so we try to price check when we can. She asked one store to hold an eye of round roast while we checked how much they were at the other store.)

Girlfriend: “It’s $15.75.”

Me: “But how much is it?”

Girlfriend: “… $15.75.”

Me: “I mean how much does it WEIGH. At the other store it’ll be $15 even, but that’s only a better deal if we get more meat.”

Girlfriend: “Oh. I don’t know.”

Me: “Well, go ask the guy who’s holding the meat.”

Girlfriend: “Okay.”

Me: “Heheh… ‘the guy who’s holding the meat’…”

Girlfriend: *laughs* “Now I don’t want to ask him! You ask him!”

Me: “No way. You’re the one that asked a guy to hold onto some meat. It’s up to you to ask how big it is!”

Girlfriend: “Actually, you know what? It was a girl.”

Makes Him Want To Put A Bag Over His Head

| Tucson, AZ, USA | Working | February 10, 2015

(I am ringing up a customer who is known by almost all of the staff as being deaf. Our store requires the cashier and bagger to greet the customer, offer carry-out, etc. I smile at the customer and say:)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

(She smiles and nods. I usually have small chit chat with the customers while I am ringing them up, but since I don’t know sign language, I keep silent and continue ringing her up, smiling at her as I do so. A known obnoxious bagger comes to help me bag the order.)

Bagger: “Hi, ma’am, how are you today?”

(The customer doesn’t reply since she is deaf and didn’t notice he has spoken to her.)

Bagger: “Ma’am, I asked you how you are today.”

(Still not getting a response and getting angry for her not answering him, I decide to intervene.)

Me: “[Bagger], she can’t hear you.”

Bagger: *screaming as loud as he can* “MA’AM, HOW ARE YOU TODAY?!”

Me: “[Bagger], she’s deaf!”

(The bagger turned red and didn’t say a word the rest of the transaction. I have learned to change my wording for the future to ‘She is deaf’ not ‘She can’t hear you.’)

Dressing Up The Situation More Than Required

| London, England, UK | Right | February 10, 2015

(I work in a small corner shop. It’s around two pm and the store is pretty dead. A lady walks in and purchases a large quantity of alcohol, paying in cash. She spots the engagement ring on my finger as I hand her the change.)

Customer: “Aww, are you getting married?”

Me: “Yeah, I’ve been engaged for almost two months now.”

Customer: “That’s nice. I’ve been married for just under thirty years now.”

(She reaches back into her purse and pulls out a twenty pound note.)

Customer: “You seem like such a sweet girl. Here, take this. Put it towards your husband’s suit or something.”

(I don’t like taking other people’s money, especially from strangers, so she puts it on the counter.)

Me: “Well, um, actually my, uh, girlfriend and I are both gonna be wearing dresses but thanks.”

(I don’t tend to discuss my personal life with customers much, and this one showed me why. Nodding for the briefest of moments before she realised what I’d said, her eyes widened in shock and she turned around and sprinted out of the store faster than I would have believed for someone of her age, leaving behind the £20 as well as all her purchases. We kept them behind the counter for a week before my boss decided to donate them to me and my now wife for our wedding. It’s been a month now since the wedding, but no-one since has asked about it.)

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The Sweet Side Of Ignorance

| Burlington, ON, Canada | Friendly | February 9, 2015

(The city we live in has a very high percentage of white people and a very low percentage of black people, so as a toddler my friend was confused one day by their cashier at the grocery store, who was black.)

Friend: “Mummy? Why is that man made of chocolate?”

(The cashier was not amused.)

Changing The Meaty Subject

| IN, USA | Right | February 6, 2015

(I’m the manager on duty on a hot day in July. A customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Your dumpster is a disgrace! It’s full of rotten meat! It smells terrible, and has maggots in it! Someone could get sick!”

Me: “Well, it’s been very hot out, and the meat department has been doing a lot of trimming lately. But I have to ask: what were you doing in our dumpster?”

Customer: “Don’t change the subject!” *storms out*

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