Paging All Psychics To Aisle Three

| USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

Customer: “Hey! I need help finding a product.”

Me: “What are you looking for?”

Customer: “I saw it on a commercial and know your store sells it.”

Me: “Is it a beverage, food, or cleaner? Can you describe it or what kind of package it came in or the color of the package?”

Customer: “I have no idea, but I know your store sells it and I want it now!”

Makes You Want To Hit The Bottle

| CT, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

(I am bagging groceries for an elderly woman.)

Customer: “Now, don’t forget to pack those bags light, young man. I can’t carry like I used to.”

Me: “Of course, ma’am. No problem.”

(I have packed all her groceries in plastic bags, handing her each one over the counter.)

Customer: “Young man! This bag is way too heavy! Please repack this.”

(I look inside. There is a single two-liter bottle of soda in there.)

Me: “Um, ma’am, I can’t split a bottle of—”

Customer: “Just do it!”

(I shrug, take the bottle out of the plastic bag, put it in another identical plastic bag, and hand it back to her.)

Customer: “Ah, see? That’s much better. Why couldn’t you do that the first time?”

A Bad Hair Day

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

(It is Christmas Eve. I have just finished a very difficult 13-hour shift, with a 2-hour commute to the small town I live just outside of. I am picking up milk. My hair is cropped short, and though I am very skinny, my uniform is shapeless except for the back brace I am wearing. As I get in line, a very drunk customer behind me turns to another customer.)

Drunk Customer: “Can you believe this [lesbian slur]? Look at her! She can at least clean herself up before coming into our town! What a fat useless c***! She’s wearing a d*** girdle! Ha! That fat will melt right off when she goes to Hell!”

(The drunk customer continues berating the way I look, and throwing insults over his shoulder. Finally I have had enough. I set my milk on the conveyor belt and spin around to face the man.)

Me: “Let’s get a few things straight! First, this is a back brace, not a girdle! I wear it because I was born with a deformed pelvis and spine, and I can very easily paralyze myself with improper body mechanics. Secondly, I have been with my MALE fiancé for five years. But at least you are right about one thing. I would look a h*** of a lot better with my hair long. I used to have long, beautiful, full curls. So beautiful, in fact, my six-year-old niece would cry every time I visited her because she lost all of her hair when she started chemo for her leukemia. So for Christmas, I cut off all of my long feminine curls and have had them made into a wig so she doesn’t have to feel ugly when she goes to school. I just thank God she lives two towns over, because after what you’ve said about me, I can’t imagine what you and the rest of the people here like you would say to a sad, sick little girl!”

(The next time I went back to pick up a few things, the manager approached me. It turned out the entire staff had donated to my niece’s cancer treatment!)