Yes, Your Royal Prawncess

| South Carolina, USA | Food & Drink

(I’ve just started my shift when I am called to a register. The customer is ranting about an item that is not on sale.)

Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

Customer: “This shrimp is not scanning right. I made a special trip for it and you people are going to be sued for false advertising!”

Me: “I do apologize, but this is the wrong shrimp. Would you like me to get the correct one?”

Customer: “The wrong one? No, it’s not!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is. The label and ad states the $8.39 shrimp is on sale. This is the $9.99 shrimp.”

Customer: “I don’t care. I shouldn’t be expected to read labels! I should get anything I want because I am special!” *storms off without her shrimp*

A Solemn Resignation

| Missouri, USA | At The Checkout

(An old male customer walks up to my register.)

Me: “How are you today?”

Customer: “I’m old and ugly!”

Me: “Well, thats not a very nice thing to say about yourself.”

Customer: “You, on the other hand, might get old, but never ugly.”

Me: “Aww, thanks.”

Seeing Red

| Austin, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I am a cashier in a local state-wide grocery store. We have a red logo. A customer comes through my line, and checks through without incident until she hands me her coupons.)

Me: “Ma’am, these coupons are from [other national retailer with a red logo].”

Customer: “But you both have a red logo! Can’t you take those?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I’m not allowed to take coupons from other chains.”

Customer: “But they’re both red! Why can’t you take them?!”

Me: “They aren’t coupons from our store—”

Customer: “IT’S RED!”

DNR, Aisle 3

| Portland, OR, USA | At The Checkout

(An elderly gentleman approaches my register, unloads a few groceries onto the belt, and waits while I begin ringing his items up.)

Me: “Hello, sir! How are you doing today?”

Customer: *very angrily* “FINE!”

Me: “Did you happen to find everything okay today?”

Customer: “NO!”

Me: “I am so sorry, sir. Is there anything that I can help you with today?”

Customer: *very loudly exclaiming* “I’m alive, aren’t I?!”

Related:
With Each (Not) Passing Day

So Much For Spit & Run

, | Copenhagen, Denmark | At The Checkout, Top, Wild & Unruly

(In our store, all cash registers have a button that’ll ring a bell in out lunchroom and back room if a cashier is in danger. I hear the bell ring, and run out to find my boss, who has also run out to check on the cashier.)

Boss: “What happened?”

Cashier: “A customer threatened to beat me over short change, even though I gave him the correct change. He just left a second ago!”

(My boss and I walk out the store and quickly spot the customer in question. He’s not hard to miss, as he’s now cursing at his wife.)

Me: “Did you threaten my coworker?”

Customer: “Yeah. So?!”

Boss: “I’m gonna have to ask you to come back in with us so we can sort this out.”

Customer: “F*** you!”

(The customer runs across the road, so my boss and I run after him as quickly as possibly. We finally catch up with him on the park lawn on the other side of the road.)

Boss: “[My name], grab his bags.”

(Before I can react, my boss has tackled him from behind using an American football tackle and hammerlocked him before picking him up from the ground.)

Customer: “When we get to the back room, I’m gonna punch your lights out!”

Boss: “You’re welcome to try.”

Customer: *shuts up*

(We call the cops, and after a few minutes they get here. We explain everything as his wife pleads with the cops.)

Cop: “We’re gonna let you off with a 300 kroner ticket if you apologize to every—”

Customer: *spits on cop* “Screw you!”

Cop: “…and now, you’re going to jail!”

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