My mum is known for being a little absent-minded. We moved away from my hometown about two years ago, but we are back visiting family. We are at a local supermarket, and we run into an old colleague of my mum’s.

Mum: “Oh, wow! You look ready to pop! When are you due?”

Colleague: *Upset* “I’m not pregnant, just fat. My daughter is eighteen months old.”

My mum’s former colleague was pregnant when we moved, and my mum put her foot in it big time.

I still tease her about this twenty years later.

A mother and her young daughter are checking out at my lane. The little girl is a cute chatterbox.

Little Girl: “Hi! I am four years old!”

Me: “Nice to meet you! You’re such a good girl, helping Mommy with her groceries!”

Little Girl: “We’re going to pick up my sister after this! She’s six!”

Me: “Is it nice to have an older sister?”

Little Girl: “Sometimes. It’s annoying when we have to pick her up from her dancing.”

Me: “Sometimes it’s fun to dance, though!”

Little Girl: “My sister dances on a pole and sticks her legs way up in the air!”

The mother’s eyes widen, and she jumps in within nanoseconds.

Mother: “Ballet lessons! My other daughter is taking ballet lessons!“

The little girl continued chattering away as if nothing had happened, and I professionally stifled any laughter until my next break.

Children do say the darndest things! If you liked this story here are another 10 Hilarious Stories About The Children Of Customers Misunderstanding The World!

CONTENT WARNING: Fatal Car Accident

I am never late for anything unless something way out of my control happens. My coworkers laugh about the time I was going to be on time instead of my usual twenty minutes early and I panicked so much I called ahead to tell them I would be… on time. For weeks, they would call me to tell me they would be on time for their shift. It’s all in good fun; I don’t mind at all that being punctual is what I’m known for.

One day, honestly, everything goes wrong for me. We lose power overnight, which means my phone goes flat, which means my alarm doesn’t go off. I am working an earlier shift than normal, so my body clock is no help. When I get into the car, it beeps that it is on E, so I have to go get fuel in order to even make it to work.

All told, it’s seventeen minutes after my shift starts by the time my frazzled self makes it through the door. I’ve resigned myself to being made fun of when I walk in.

Manager #1: “[MY NAME]! Oh, my God! Thank God. Are you okay?!”

Me: “Hey, [Manager #1], sorry I’m late. I—”

Another manager scurries over.

Manager #2: “Oh, my God, [My Name], I’m so relieved you’re here! Are you all right?”

I once again start answering only for another coworker to come running over with a worried look on his face.

Coworker: “[My Name], holy s***. Can I give you a hug?”

I hug my coworker. It’s not that unusual — I’m a big hugger if people are comfortable with it and I’ve known him for years — but I notice that everyone looks like they’ve been crying or just incredibly upset and are stunned to see me standing there.

Me: “Okay, guys, I get that I’m late and that’s weird, but what the heck is happening?”

My manager very somberly told me that they were all joking around about me not being there super early when someone told them that a few blocks from the store a young woman driving a red sedan — the same colour and size as my car — had been hit and killed by a truck running a red light during the time I would have been driving to work. When they tried calling me, my phone was turned off and no one could reach me. They tried my girlfriend’s phone, but hers had also run flat overnight so it too was turned off.

So, that’s the story about how my being less than twenty minutes late to work had an entire store of people convinced that I was quite literally dead.

Customer: “Why aren’t these papayas fresh yet?”

Me: “They’ve been sitting in an air-conditioned truck for three days and a cooler for a day before they made it to the shelf.”

Customer: “Well, you should seriously not do that; it slows the process.”

Me: “If they sat uncooled for the amount of time it takes the papaya to get here, they would rot.”

Customer: “Not if you shipped them faster. I’m from Costa Rica, and we always had the freshest papayas.”

Me: “Costa Rica? Which is where they were grown?”

Customer: “So?”

I am the author of this story and this story.

All things considered, having that part-time job in the supermarket was quite a good experience, but as I graduated from university, I quit and moved to another city to seek full-time employment relevant to my degree.

A couple of years later, I suddenly got a phone call from a number I didn’t recognize.

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hi, this is [Caller]. I’ve become ill, and I was wondering if you could come down and take over?”

Me: “Uh… sorry, who is this?”

Caller: “It’s [Caller] from the store.”

I was completely confused. I had no clue what was going on or who this person was. After thinking for several seconds, I couldn’t think of anybody by this name, so I just had to ask.

Me: “I’m sorry… Are you sure you have the right number? Where did you say you were?”

Caller: “I’m at [Shop where I used to work] in [City where I used to live]? I got your number from this list on the wall here.”

Me: “Oh! Oh, I’m sorry, dude, but I don’t work there anymore. I left two years ago. I live at the other end of the country now.”

Caller: “Oh…”

Me: “Sorry, bro, just keep calling around. I’m sure you’ll find someone to cover for you.”

Caller: “Thanks, bye.”

Me: “Bye-bye.”

I felt sorry for him, as his voice sounded really tired. I hope everything worked out up there.

And I hope they got those employee lists updated.