Separate Yourself From Sense

| Madison, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work as a cashier.)

Customer: “Hi. I’d like to do two separate transactions.”

Me: “No problem!”

(The customer divides her groceries into two piles. I finish the first, total it, and she pays. I begin to ring up the second order.)

Customer: “WHAT are you doing?!”

Me: “Uh… I just completed your first order, so now I’m doing your second.”

Customer: “But WHY did you separate them?”

Me: “Because… you told me to?”

(At this point, the customer behind her starts giggling.)

Customer: “… Oh.”

Getting A Man-Handle On Your Words

| Flagstaff, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(I am a woman, and I am cashiering at a grocery store that is conducting a charitable fund drive. I am packing a chatty man’s groceries into his backpack.)

Man: “Look at how you just get that all in there! You’re really man-handling that stuff!”

Me: *packing the last two things, which are pieces of fruit* “Oh, but I don’t want to man-handle your peaches.”

Man: “I don’t want to man-handle your peaches.”

(I splutter and stare at this, torn between outrage and hilarity.)

Man: “I’m sorry.” *as if to himself* “Get your mind out of the gutter.”

Me: “To make it up to me, you will donate to our fundraiser.”

Man: “Deal.”

Popped Off

| Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(A customer walks into the store and walks over to the service desk with a cart FULL of pop.)

Customer: “I want to return this pop. I didn’t seem to need it.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but this isn’t a brand we carry. You have to buy the pop here at our store in order to return it here.”

Customer: “I bought them here last week! I just want my d*** money back!”

Coworker: “Do you have a receipt?”

Customer: “I don’t have my d*** receipt. Don’t you have it on file?”

Coworker: “I apologize, but we don’t.”

(The customer immediately kicks over the whole cart of 30 bottles of pop and storms away. We all stand there in shock after, but on a positive note we all got to keep the pop that he had left behind!)