The Devil’s Discount

| IN, USA | Right | March 16, 2017

The store I work at does electronic coupons tied to people’s membership cards. I have a couple come through to buy a bunch of stuff. The total is $66.60. They aren’t really happy with that so they decide to buy a fountain drink for $0.90. No problem; scan it, and total again.

They have a coupon for a free drink. Total is still $66.60.

Thankfully they were ultimately amused rather than angry.

A (Free) Basket-Case

| Scotland, UK | Right | March 14, 2017

(I’m behind a customer being served.)

Cashier: “If you get one more yoghurt, you will get £20 off this purchase because of your loyalty card. Would you like me to get you one?”

Customer: “No, I don’t think so. I’m not spending more money on this store. You already rip me off more than enough.”

Cashier: “Okay. I was just trying to save you some money.”

Customer: “Don’t you do that.”

Cashier: “Do what?”

Customer: “Look at me like that.” *to the manager standing by the cashier* “She’s treating me like I’m stupid!”

Manager: “She’s right. One yoghurt and you get your whole basket for free. You’d have to be stupid not to take that offer!”

(The customer’s face lit up like a traffic cone and she stormed out screaming that she was going to sue.)

Me: “Do I get that offer?”

Cashier: “Let’s see!”

(I did.)

Walking A Thin Line

| Boone, IA, USA | Right | March 13, 2017

(I work as a cashier at a grocery store. A couple of customers, one male who is very flamboyant and a female, come through my line.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

Female Customer: “I would like two packs of [Brand] cigarettes.”

(The cigarettes are located at an express register a few lanes down from mine. I go get the cigarettes and come back.)

Me: “Will that be all today?”

Female Customer: “Can you get me two more packs? He wants to see you walk again.”

(I’ve never walked more stiff legged in my life.)

No Point Crying Over Stepped-Over Milk

| Chicago, IL, USA | Right | March 8, 2017

(I’m picking up exactly three items at the grocery store, and when I go to get in line, there’s a jug of milk sitting on the floor in the middle of the cashier’s lane, so I step around it and get into line. A few seconds later, a man with a very full cart comes up behind me.)

Customer: “You cut me!”

Me: “What? No, I didn’t. You weren’t in line.”

Customer: “I was totally in line! What did you think the milk was for?!”

Me: “That’s not being in line. That’s putting a jug of milk on the floor. That doesn’t count.”

Customer: “You cut me, and I demand you let me go first!”

Me: “No. You weren’t in line. Besides, I have three items; I’ll be done in two minutes.”

Customer: “How do you know how long it’ll take?! You lying jerk. I’m going to report you to the manager!”

Me: “That’s nice, but I’m not getting out of line.”

Customer: “You a**-hole! That just ain’t Christian!”

Me: *laughing* “Don’t worry; I’m not either of those.”

(I was done checking out by this point, so I collected my bag and headed out the door. I wonder what the manager made of that complaint!)

The Strife Of The Party

| CA, USA | Working | March 8, 2017

(The previous day one of our coworkers hosted in her home a going away party for another coworker. Due to a combination of personal issues I don’t do well at social gatherings and left early with the excuse that the noise was giving me a headache. Before I left several times one coworker or another had asked if I was okay because I was either uncharacteristically silent or my face had gone blank because I was trying very hard to listen. The next day one of my coworkers is loudly (because she works a yard or two away from my station) complaining about my leaving early and my weak excuse.)

Me: “Did my leaving the party early end the party?”

Coworker: *grumpily looks at me but has nothing to say*

Me: “No, the party kept going after I left. Would my sour face have ruined the party if I stayed?”

Coworker: *continues to silently stare at me*

Me: “The answer is yes, it would have. So why keep fussing about it?”

(I do like this coworker, but sometimes she drives me nuts! At least she stopped complaining about my social anxiety after that.)

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