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Their Weirdness Is A Whole Different Animal

| Seattle, WA, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(I’m a cashier at a small supermarket. We have miniature carts for children to use. Around midnight, two well dressed men in suits enter the store. They grab a child cart and place a large object in it. They hunch over to push the cart and as they pass by my check stand I realize it is a taxidermied animal that looks like a cross between a wolverine and an armadillo.)

Coworker: *under his breath* “What the h***?”

(The men continue around the store as normal and eventually come through my line. I’m still in shock from their entrance.)

Me: “Uh… good evening, sir. Did you find everything all right?”

Customer: “Indeed I did my friend! Indeed I did.”

(I ring up the two men’s items: four water bottles, three packages of hot dogs, two cans of whipped cream, and a pack of gum.)

Me: *still bewildered, and having trouble taking my eyes off of the bizarre animal in the tiny cart* “Will that be all tonight?”

Customer: “Yes, sir!”

Me: “Well, uh… have a nice evening?”

Customer: “You as well, sir!”

(The two customers leave, grabbing their items and their weird dead pet on the way. I turn to my coworker:)

Me: “What in the actual f*** just happened?”

(At this point another bewildered customer approaches my check stand.)

Customer #2: “So you saw them too? Thank god. I thought I was losing it.”

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Their Assumption Has Expired

| ME, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Popular

(I am the only cashier in front. A customer approaches me.)

Customer: “I think one of the other customers is stealing.”

Me: “Can you describe the person?”

Customer: *immediately shouts* “Obviously it’s the only black guy in the store. You can’t miss him!”

(She goes on to say that he is putting things in his cart and going out back, then all the stuff from the cart is miraculously gone. He works here, getting rid of expired merchandise. The customer screams at my manager when she won’t fire him for stealing from the company.)

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You Lose At Winning

| NE, USA | At The Checkout, Popular

(With the huge lottery jackpot, we’ve gotten quite a few customers in who are unfamiliar with how lottery works. I’m naturally sarcastic and with the hoards of customers, I’m getting a little snarky.)

Customer: “I’ll have a lottery ticket!”

Me: “Sorry, we just sold out.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “No, just kidding.” *sells lottery ticket, proceeds to the next customer* “What can I get for you?”

Customer #2: “The winning lottery numbers!”

Me: “Okay…” *touches a couple buttons, then hands the print out to the customer*

Customer: “What’s this?”

Me: “The winning lottery numbers.”

Customer #2: “But these were for the last drawing!”

Me: “You weren’t specific.”