(At the supermarket where my boyfriend works, he has to sign his initials each time he finishes with a job. His initials just happen to be “WTF”. One night he gets a call from his manager, who is notoriously mean-spirited.)

My Boyfriend: “Hello?”

Manager: “Do you think this s*** is funny?!”

My Boyfriend: “…Excuse me?”

Manager: “Do you think I have time to waste from you and your bulls***? You put those letters down like it’s a joke?”

My Boyfriend: “That’s my name, [manager]. W***** T***** F****.”

(The manager is silent on the line for a few moments.)

Manager: “…Umm, okay. Carry on. See you at work on Sunday.” *hangs up*

(I am shopping at a chain superstore that has been running commercials about their price matching policy. The cashier begins to ring up my potatoes that are also on sale at the competitor.)

Me: “Those are two pounds for $1.00 at competitor.”

(I show the cashier the ad, but she ignores me and rings it up without the competitor’s price. They ring up at $0.88 per pound.)

Me: “Excuse me, those were two pounds for $1.00 at competitor’s store.”

(I show her the ad again.)

Cashier: “Yes, but our price is cheaper.”

Me: “No, the other store is two pounds for $1.00 and is cheaper.”

Cashier: “But our price is $0.88 and their price is $1.”

Me: “Yes, but their price is two pounds for $1.00 and that’s only $0.50 per pound, which is cheaper than $0.88 per pound.”

Cashier: “Two pounds for $1.00 isn’t the same thing as $0.50 per pound!”

(She eventually acceded, but not without acting like I was trying to pull something sneaky. I haven’t tried to price match since!)

(I approach the seafood section at my local grocery store, where a young employee is working.)

Me: “I’ll take 500g of the tilapia.”

(The employee looks at the fish, and then at me.)

Employee: “You want how much?”

Me: “500g.”

(The employee looks at the fish and then at the scale, which reads ‘0.000kg’.)

Employee: “I don’t think I can do that. It only has kilograms…”

This story is part of our Metric System roundup!

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(A coworker has failed a state alcohol compliance sting. The store manager and I pull her into the office to fire her, as per our policy.)

Me: “You sold alcohol to someone under the legal age, and because of that we have to let you go.”

Coworker: “But he looked like he was 18!”

Me: “Well, the legal age is 21…”

Coworker: “So?!”

(I work at a large grocery store in the bakery department in a town that gets a lot of tourists. I am leaving the bathroom when I am met by a customer.)

Customer: “Oh, good. You are here to clean the bathrooms. They really need to be done.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t clean the bathrooms. If you would like, I could get someone from maintenance to clean them for you.”

Customer: “No. You work here in this store. You clean the bathrooms.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I work in the bakery department. I don’t clean the bathrooms, but I can get someone who does it to clean them for you.”

Customer: “No, you should. You work here. You clean them.”

Me: “Ma’am, what do you do for work?”

Customer: “I’m an accountant.” *looks rather proud of herself*

Me: “Do you clean the bathrooms there?”

Customer: *scoffs and walks off in a huff*