Dangerously Cheesy

| John's Creek, GA, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: “Where is your mad cow cheese?”

Me: “Mad cow cheese, ma’am? Do you mean Laughing Cow cheese?”

Customer: “No! Mad cow cheese! Everyone carries it.”

(At this point, I’m trying really hard not to laugh even though other customers are. I ask her to follow me and I show her the laughing cow cheese.)

Customer: “Yes! Mad cow cheese!” *takes cheese and continues shopping*

(I walk back to the area I work in, where another regular customer is waiting.)

Another customer: *laughs* “It’s okay, you can laugh now.”

How The Cookie Crumbles

| Hamilton, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “I would like to return these cookies. There are two cookies missing.”

Me: “Alright, were they stale?”

Customer: “No, my son just didn’t like them. I have the receipt.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I cannot refund them.”

Customer: “But there are two cookies missing!”

Me: “I realize that, but we cannot resell this product because you have opened them.”

Customer: “I don’t understand. What is the point of keeping a receipt if you cannot return an item? My son didn’t like them! There are only two missing!”

Me: “I’m sorry miss, but as a consumer, that is a risk you are willing to take when trying a new product.”

Customer: “It’s only missing two cookies!”

(The customer eventually left, albeit begrudgingly.)

It’s Nice To Be Relatively Infestation-Free

| Nova Scotia, Canada | Uncategorized

(I am talking with a customer that is also my neighbor. I am ringing in about the ants that have been getting into our houses.)

Customer: “Those darn ants are everywhere this time of year!”

Me: “Yeah, we’ve had a lot of trouble keeping them out these days. I don’t know what to try next!”

Next customer: “You know what works? Ant-Be-Gone. I used it once, and my wife’s Aunt hasn’t come around for years!”

Fertility Is A Contest

| Ontario, Canada | At The Checkout

(My coworker and I are talking in our tills since it’s a slow night when a woman walks up.)

Customer: “I have eggs. A lot of eggs.” *walks away*

Coworker: “Uh, that’s great?”

Supervisor: “Sorry, girls, she runs a baking charity. I believe she’s picking up 16 dozen eggs today.”

Chivalry: No Girl Parts Required

| Texas, USA | Uncategorized

(My coworker is caught slacking off while retrieving baskets from the parking lot. After being yelled at for a couple of minutes by a fairly new manager, he walks off and an old lady confronts the manager.)

Customer: “Sir, I don’t like the way you spoke to that employee!”

Manager: “Ma’am, that employee was slacking off and–”

Customer: “That is no way to talk to a young woman!”

Manager: *chuckling* “Ma’am, that is one of our male employees.”

Customer: “Still, that is no way to talk to her!”