(I work at a supermarket stocking shelves. I’m a relatively small girl; about five foot four and barely one hundred five pounds. Also, despite being in my early twenties, I look more like I’m fifteen. I have gone behind one of the registers to get a spray bottle.)

Customer: “Are you opening?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “I don’t work in this department.”

Customer: “What department do you work in?”

Me: “I work in grocery sir. I stock the shelves.”

Customer: “A girl like you shouldn’t be doing a man’s job. You should either be behind a register or in the bakery.”

Me: “Would you like me to call the store manager, sir? I’m sure she would be more than happy to assist you.”

Customer: *doesn’t say another word and walks off*

Me: “Have a nice day, sir!”

(I live in a small town; as such, little stories such as ‘so and so made this all star team’ or ‘this person went to a university’s honor band” frequently appear in the newspaper. During high school, I was part of the later group until I started university, where my name would continue to appear in the Dean’s List published at the end of each semester. At this moment, university has been out for a week, while the high schools are finishing up their school year.)

Customer: “Hey, why aren’t you in school?”

Me: “Beg pardon?”

Customer: “It’s 11:00 AM; not even the students with special privileges to work during school hours should be out yet! Why are you not at [School] and working here?”

Me: “Sir, I graduated a few years ago.”

Customer: “No, you didn’t! I just saw your name in the paper for some fancy list.”

Me: “Oh, you mean the Dean’s List? Yes, I’m happy that I got on it this semester. I was taking a full load of classes!”

Customer: “You shouldn’t be done yet! School doesn’t finish for another three weeks.”

Me: “Sir, I no longer attend [High School]. Instead, I—”

Customer: *shocked* “You dropped out?! After all those times you were in the paper for music and smart stuff? What in the world possessed you to do that?!”

Me: “I didn’t drop out sir. I just—”

Customer: “Where is your manager? I need to talk to him about hiring drop outs, even if they appear to be smarticle like you!”

(Yes, he did use the word ‘smarticle.’)

Me: *pulls university ID card out of pocket wallet* “Please read the date this was issued.”

Customer: “Summer 2010?”

Me: “Yes. Now, why would I have a university ID card?”

Customer: “Because you go to that university?”

(I wait.)

Customer: “Oh… yeah. That was the college list, wasn’t it?” *gathers up items, pays, and leaves*

(I receive a phone call while working the customer service desk.)

Me: “Hello, [store name], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, dear. I’ve got a $50 food voucher and I was just wondering if I could get a phone card for it.”

(Food vouchers are basically welfare cheques that can only be used towards food purchases.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, it cannot.”

Customer: “I don’t need $50 of food! What if I just bought $10 of food, and use the change I get back on a phone card?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, we cannot give you change back. If you spend less than the amount on the voucher, no change is given. If you go over the $50, you have to pay the difference yourself.”

Customer: “Well, what if I bought $50 of food, returned it, got the money back and then bought the phone card?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we also do not give you a receipt. This is so people don’t return food to get non-food items in return. If you return items without a receipt, all we can do is exchange it for a similar item.”

Customer: “Well, what am I supposed to do with a $50 food voucher?”

Me: “Buy food.”

Customer: “But I need a phone card! This is ridiculous!” *hangs up*

(I’m the supervisor at night, which essentially means I run the store and have the same authority as the manager. One new hire has not taken well to this. It’s because he’s 35 years old and has been in the industry for 15 years, whereas I’m 20 and have been at the store for six months.)

Me: “Okay, I’ll need you to work the milk to the shelves and then face aisles three and four.”

Coworker: “No.”

Me: “…Sorry?”

Coworker: “No. I don’t wanna.”

Me: “Well, I guess I can do that if you want to do what I was going to, which is work the frozen backstock and then face aisles one and two.”

Coworker: “No. You’re not the boss of me.”

Me: *flabbergasted*

Coworker: “I’m gonna do what I feel like, since you can’t order me around.”

Me: “Actually, I can. So you can either do what I said or get out.”

Coworker: “Nope, not listening!”

Me: “Punch out and leave!”

(He did leave after complaining. The manager was not pleased, and he got fired shortly thereafter.)

(I have received in-store coupons for their brand of bacon, but didn’t know if I could use it for the nicer cuts.)

Me: “Ma’am, can you help me?”

Employee: *annoyed* “I don’t normally work out here, but go ahead.”

Me: “Oh, well I have this coupon here that—”

Employee: “Well, I CAN READ!” *snatches coupon from my hand* “Uh, yeah, of course. You can use it on that.”

Me: “Thank you.”

Employee: *rolls eyes and walks away without another word*