Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Fowl Behavior, Part 2

, , , , | Right | August 13, 2008

(At the deli where I work, every couple hours I cook up between 12 and 20 whole chickens. They’re kept in the hot holding cabinet for customers to grab.)

Customer: “I need ten.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “These whole chickens. I need ten of them.”

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s all we have, because we’re closing soon.”

Customer: *rolls her eyes and takes absolutely everything left out of the holding cabinet*

(Another customer approaches me soon afterward.)

Another Customer: “Excuse me, that lady just grabbed a chicken out of my hands, claiming it was hers. Will there be any more?”

(Yes, that’s right. The first lady was going around taking chickens from other customers. Unbelievable.)

This Was Before He Started Lobbing Cantaloupes

, , | Right | July 29, 2008

Me: “If I can just get your signature there…”

Elderly Customer: *scribbles his name, then starts drawing on the counter*

Me: “Uh… sir?”

Elderly Customer: *starts drawing up the side of the cash register*

Me: “Sir? You just… sign your name.”

Elderly Customer: *doodles in the air, up and up… and then jabs me in the forehead with the pen and tries to draw on my face*

Me: *Jerking back violently.* “What the h***?”

Elderly Customer: “Reactions like that would have gotten you killed in the war!”


This story is part of the Customers-Who-Make-You-Say-WTF roundup!

Read the next Customers-Who-Make-You-Say-WTF roundup story!

Read the Customers-Who-Make-You-Say-WTF roundup!

The War Of 1812 Revisited

, , , | Right | July 25, 2008

Me: “Have a good day, sir.”

Old Man: “Thank you. Is your family doing anything for the 4th of July?”

Me: “Not really. We’re Canadian so we may hold a BBQ on July 1st, which is Canada Day.”

Old Man: “WHAT? You’re not American? I thought all foreigners had to become American when they came to this country!”

Me: “No, sir, my family all has green cards, so we’re all still Canadian citizens.”

Old Man: “I’M SICK OF ALL YOU F****** ILLEGAL ALIENS TAKING ALL OUR F****** JOBS! AN AMERICAN BOY SHOULD HAVE YOUR JOB!”


This story is part of our July 4th roundup!

Want to read the next story? Click here!

Want to read the roundup? Click here!

Oh, Give Me A Home Where The Jumbo Shrimp Roam

, , | Right | July 24, 2008

Me: “Can I help you with anything, sir?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for some shrimp.”

Me: “Shrimp is in the seafood department, right over there.”

Customer: “See, I don’t want to boil them, I just want to barbecue them.”

Me: “Okay, well, they should be in the seafood department.”

Customer: “But I want to barbecue them. Could you get me a pound of shrimp?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we don’t have shrimp in the deli.”

Customer: “Why don’t you have any?”

Me: “We only have deli meat and cheese in the deli. The seafood department has shrimp, just over there.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because shrimp are seafood… They live in the sea.”

Customer: “…really?”

Low Expectations, Gotta Love ‘Em

, , | Right | July 23, 2008

Me: “Hello, how are you today?”

Customer: “Hi, can you ring this stuff up and tell me how much it is?”

Me: “Uh… yeah. That’s kind of what I do.”

Customer: “Okay, but can you put it in bags, too? I need to bring it home.”

Me: “…I can do that, too.”