Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Bad News About Your Doppelganger

, , | Right | January 19, 2009

Customer: *to his wife* “My God. This girl looks just like that one in the paper today, on the front page. Don’t you think?”

Customer’s Wife: “I don’t know, maybe a little bit.”

Customer: “Yes. She’s dead though.”

Me: “…”

Customer: *to me* “Has anyone ever told you that? I bet you get it all the time. You look just like that girl who died parachuting.”

Me: “Well, sir, she’s only in the papers today because she died yesterday. I don’t think anybody knew who she was before.”

Customer: “Well, you look so much like her. Careful you don’t run into any of her relatives, now!”

And On This Farm He Had My Dinner

, , , | Right | January 12, 2009

Customer: What’s the difference between this-” *holds up a steak of lamb* “and this?” *holds up a steak of calf*

Me: “Well, this one is from a lamb, and this one from a calf. It says so right here on the label.”

Customer: “But what part of the animal is that?”

Me: *points at the lamb* “Baaaa.” *pointing at the calf* “Moooo.”

Customer: *happily* “Oh, thank you so much!”

Fond Future Memories

, , , | Right | January 7, 2009

Me: “Okay, sir, your total today is $62.30.”

Customer: *serious* “That was a good year. I remember it well….”

Me: “6230?!”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “…”


This story is part of the Customers-Who-Make-You-Say-WTF roundup!

Read the next Customers-Who-Make-You-Say-WTF roundup story!

Read the Customers-Who-Make-You-Say-WTF roundup!

Thanks For Clearing That Up

, , , | Right | December 30, 2008

(I notice a female customer shoving a few acne treatments into her purse.)

Me: “Excuse me, miss; you’re going to have to pay for those.”

Customer: “For what?”

Me: “For the treatments you just shoved into your purse.”

Customer: *sounding offended* “I did no such thing!”

Me: “Fine. Will you please show me there aren’t any stolen items in your bag?”

Customer: “No! You’re only doing this because I’m ugly!”

Me: “…what?”

Customer: “I can’t believe an ugly person can’t go out into public anymore without be accused of stealing!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I’m never coming here again! *storms out, setting off the alarm and alerting security*

Coworker: “Maybe we should have just let her have them.”


This story is part of the Thieves Getting Caught roundup!

Read the next Thieves Getting Caught roundup story!

Read the Thieves Getting Caught roundup!

You Just Had To Ask

, , | Right | December 29, 2008

(I work at the customer service desk at a grocery store. One day I had a guy come up and cash a winning lottery ticket for a dollar, and this is what then took place.)

Me: “There you go. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Yeah, uh… I’ve got some dishes to be done, some windows to be washed, and a lawn to be mowed.”

Me: *thinking he’s joking* “Ha ha, yeah…”

Customer: *blank stare* “Well… are you gonna help me?”

Me: still thinking he’s joking* “Ha, well, until [Store] opens up an At-Home division, I guess I can’t help you out.”

Customer: “So you’re not gonna help me?”

Me: *realizing he’s serious* “Well… no, sir. I can’t just leave and go home with you to do chores.”

Customer: “You shouldn’t be offering to do something if you don’t plan on going through with it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but–”

Customer: *interrupting* “Next time, don’t offer if you’re not gonna do it!” *storms off*