Going Bananas Over The Bread

| WI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests

(I’m at the self-checkout, and I can hear a woman yelling about her own self-checkout order to the cashier.)

Customer: “I can’t believe you would just let someone bag their own groceries! How was I supposed to know bananas would flatten my bread? I want a new loaf of bread, and I want it free!”

Supervisor: “Ma’am, we can’t just give you free groceries for your own errors. As we told you last week, putting heavy things on top of light things will cause problems. We’ve suggested you take your items to a cashier to be bagged properly, and—”

Customer: “I don’t care what you said last week! There is no sign here telling me the bananas will squish my bread! I want it free!”

Supervisor: “No. I told you, you can’t get any more free groceries.”

(At this point, I decide to intervene.)

Me: “Ma’am, can I help you with something? Do you need money?”

Customer: “What the h*** do you mean by that? Do you even work here?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I don’t work here. I just thought given the fuss you were making over a two dollar loaf of bread, you probably needed the money. Let me write you a check; how much do you need?”

Customer: “I don’t need anything! It’s the principle of the thing!”

Me: “And what principle is that?”

Customer: “Well… I… These people need to learn their place!”

Me:“They make minimum wage, and I’m sure many of them have second jobs. I’m sure many of them know ‘their place’ in YOUR version of society. So you mean to tell me you’re just being mean to make others feel inferior?”

Customer: “Well… I…”

Me: “In that case, I’ll buy you a free loaf of bread just to get these poor employees some peace!”

Customer: “Well, I never met someone so rude!” *storms out of the store with her squished bread*

High On The Milk Of Human Kindness

| ME, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(I work at a small independent grocery store. I’m helping an older woman check out. The transaction goes smoothly until she gets a look of sudden realization.)

Customer: “Oh! What do I do about unpaid milk quarts?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

Customer: “I was here the other day and I had two milk quarts but I didn’t get them.”

Me: “You didn’t get them? Would you like to get them now? Or did you mean you accidentally left them behind?”

Customer: “Oh, no, no. I… oh. dear. I didn’t see them in my cart and I’d forgotten I grabbed them, so I left without paying for them. I didn’t even think about it until I got home and checked my receipt.”

Me: “Oh! Oh, I understand. Well, I could go grab a quart and ring it in with this order?”

Customer: “Okay!”

(I ask her what brand and kind of milk she got, then go fetch it and add two to her order.)

Customer: “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to not pay for them.”

Me: “Oh gosh. No, don’t be sorry! Thank you for your honesty. Most people would have just been like ‘sweet, free milk’ when they realized what had happened.”

Customer: “Well, I just couldn’t live with doing that! Your selection might not be as big as [Chain Competitor]’s, but I’ve been shopping here since the current owner’s father was running the place. Everyone is always so helpful. I just couldn’t do something so unethical and mean!”

(It’s not a glamorous job, but customers like her make me glad I’m working for a business like that!)

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Low On The Milk Of Human Kindness

Not Exactly Heavy Math

| Roscoe, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(I just finish helping someone when a young man walks up to me.)

Customer: “Do you guys sell ice cubes?”

Me: “Yes. Would you like an 8-pound bag or a 16-pound bag?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “The 16-pound bag holds twice as much ice cubes as the 8-pound bag.”

Customer: “Is that the heavier one?”