As Thick As Pea Soup

| SC, USA | Right | March 27, 2016

Customer: “Excuse me, I’m looking for soup.”

Me: “What kind of soup did you have in mind?”

Customer: “You know, soup.”

Me: *attempting to narrow down the options* “Were you interested in hot and ready to eat soup, or are you looking for canned soup?”

Customer: “I want soup.”

Me: *brain cells beginning to weaken and die* “We carry hot soups in the deli, but otherwise, you’ll find our soup selection in… the soup aisle.”

Customer: “Soup?”

Me: *nodding slowly* “Yep. Soup.”

(Customer wandered away.)

Was ‘Meer’ly Asking

| Halifax, NS, Canada | Right | March 23, 2016

(I’m in an aisle returning items to the shelf when a customer notices my name tag, which says ‘Mir,’ and asks me about it.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s a different name. How do you pronounce it?”

Me: “Meer.”

Customer: *in a knowing tone* “And is that Middle-European?”

Me: “No…”

Customer: *confused and questioning look*

Me: “…it’s just short for Miranda.”

Customer: “That’s horrible! You tricked me! Here I thought I was being all clever, knowing where it comes from, and you tricked me!”

Me: *slightly stunned at her outburst* “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to…”

(I have people ask about my name multiple times a day, but I’ve never had anyone else get mad at me for ‘tricking’ them when my answers weren’t what they expected!)

Went Down The Store Like A Wave

| MA, USA | Friendly | March 21, 2016

(I’m a teenager and I recently got my very first job bagging groceries. It’s my third day working and my feet are killing me, but I’m still smiling and doing the best I can. A woman and her little boy — maybe three years old — are finishing up in the next lane. They pay and the woman begins to push her cart away, but the little boy starts talking.)

Boy: “Bye! Bye!”

Me: *waving* “Bye!”

Boy: “Bye!”

(He continued the whole way down the line, waving and saying bye to all the workers with a huge smile on his face. It made my day.)

Macamoron

| Boston, MA, USA | Right | March 19, 2016

(I’m giving away samples of macarons, a French cookie. Many customers have been calling them “macaroons,” so I have a coworker bring me a box of those so I could show the products side by side and politely explain the differences. A lady approaches my counter.)

Lady: “Oh, macaroons!”

Me: “Actually, these are macarons, a Fr-”

Lady: *suddenly irate and smug* “WELL, IN AMERICA, IT’S PRONOUNCED ‘MACAROONS.’”

Me: *smiles politely and holds up both boxes* “Actually, these are macarons, and they’re completely different from macaroons. We happen to sell both right here.”

Lady: *looks extremely pissed and walks off without trying the product while I beam for a solid ten minutes*

Doesn’t Even Have To Massage The Truth

| Santa Rosa, CA, USA | Right | March 18, 2016

(I am working on register at a popular grocery store. I usually make jokes and puns with the customers, partly because it’s fun for the customers, but mostly because it’s fun for me.)

Me: “How are you today?”

Customer: “It’s a good day; I just got off work.”

Me: *jokingly* “Oh, just rub it in, why don’t you?”

Customer: “I do; I’m a masseuse.”

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