You Bread My Mind

| Franklin, TN, USA | Working | July 10, 2015

(My boss is known for inserting innuendos into conversations and remaining completely deadpan. My coworkers and I in customer service are used to this and find it hilarious. My brother, who works in the bakery of my store, has never met my boss. After her shift one day, my boss goes to the bakery to get a baguette. My coworker sometimes works in the bakery, but is usually in the customer service department and so is familiar with our boss’s banter.)

Boss: “Do you have any baguettes?”

(My brother looks in the bins and doesn’t see any.)

Brother: “Nope. Hey, [Coworker], do we have any baguettes?”

Coworker: “I have a long hot one in the back.”

Boss: “Do I have to be in a certain position to get it?”

Cereal Bad Parenting

| Omaha, NE, USA | Right | July 9, 2015

(A coworker is helping a woman find a roast for a dinner party. She isn’t paying any attention to her kid; he has decided to start using the cereal boxes on display as his own punching bags, knocking down part of the stack and stomping on it. I walk over to where she’s talking to my coworker and wait for a pause in the conversation.)

Me: “Ma’am, could you ask your son to stop kicking the display, please?”

(The customer looks over at her kid and rolls her eyes, going over and yanking his arm pretty harshly before dragging him over to me.)

Customer: “What should his punishment be?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “What should his punishment be? If you want to be the f***** parent, be the f****** parent. I don’t appreciate your tone, you little s***.”

Me: “I’m—”

Manager: *walking over* “Ma’am, your son was destroying store property. We can’t sell the cereal when the boxes and bags are open. I’d like for you to apologize to my employee. Your roast comes at $45.76 and a quick estimate on the cereal makes your total bill today around $80.”

Customer: “F****** a**-hole. I’m not paying for that because your stupid high-schooler got an attitude with me.”

Manager: “Ma’am, even if that were true, he didn’t break open the boxes of cereal. That was your son.”

Customer: “Whatever.”

(She now is banned until she pays for the cereal.)

1 Thumbs

Not Makin’ It Out

| ME, USA | Working | July 3, 2015

(I’m known for being rather quick-witted and goofy. One of the shift leaders comes over to me while I’m on the service desk.)

Shift Leader: “How you makin’ out over here?”

Me: “Well, I’ve never kissed a girl before but as soon as I have, I’ll let you know.”

Shift Leader: *leaves with a large smile on her face trying hard not to laugh!*

Don’t Earn Enough Dough To Deal With This Dough

| VA, USA | Right | June 30, 2015

(I work in a grocery store, and overall I love it! But I’ve watched the same mother do this multiple times. She has a kid who is almost a teenager, and always walks by the pizza dough, then plays with it like it is a basketball. She picks it up throwing it around, and spins it. She looked at her kid, and then me.)

Mother: “Oh, kids, I’m glad we are giving you something to do since you are getting paid.” *walks away*

Take A Swipe At An Easy Purchase

| IL, USA | Working | June 24, 2015

(I’m making a small purchase at a local food store.)

Cashier: “That’ll be one dollar, please.”

Me: “Really? One dollar flat?”

Cashier: “Yes sir, just one dollar.”

Me: *swipes dollar bill, then hands it to her* “Here you go.”

Cashier: “Thank you.” *swipes receipt* “Have a great day!”

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