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With Refunds, Some Customers Are Clearly Wingin’ It

, , , | Right | June 24, 2023

I was working at the supermarket and a man came in with a complaint about a mixed 1-kg pack with a random assortment of wings, drumsticks, etc.

Customer: “I bought a pack of chicken, and I wasn’t happy with it. It tasted good and all, but it didn’t have enough wings.”

I thought that was one of the dumbest complaints I had ever heard, but I don’t get paid enough to care.

Me: “Oh, no. Were you after a refund?”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

Me: “Okay. Do you have the receipt?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did you pay with a card? We might be able to look up the receipt in our system.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you remember the date and time you came in roughly?”

Customer: “No, it was sometime last week.”

Me: “Well, do you even have the chicken here?”

Customer: “No, I ate it.”

Me: “Do you have the empty packet?”

Customer: “No, I took a photo of it, though.”

He showed me a photo of the chicken on his phone. I had to call my manager for backup because the man wanted a refund for an item that he DID NOT BRING INTO THE STORE, HAD ALREADY EATEN, AND DIDN’T EVEN HAVE THE RECEIPT FOR. The food wasn’t even BAD; he just thought it should have more wings!

My manager offered him a different packet of chicken for free as compensation, and he was happy with that.

I couldn’t believe it, but oh, well. At least he wasn’t angry about it!

Not For All The Tea In China

, , , , , | Right | June 23, 2023

I work in a high-end grocery store, and we have a specific tea section selling loose-leaf teas from many places. An older customer comes up to me with a piece of paper.

Customer: “I’ve been asked to get this tea for my daughter: Lapland-Too-Long?”

I look at the piece of paper.

Me: “Ah, lapsang souchong. Yes, we have some of those.”

Customer: “So, it’s not from Lapland?”

Me: “No, it’s from China.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t want it, then! Why is everything made in f****** China? They steal everything!”

Me: “China… stole tea?”

The After-Church Crowd Strikes Again!

, , , , , , | Right | June 22, 2023

The after-church crowd hits restaurants the worst, but we grocery stores get our fair share of Sunday-Best-Screamers ourselves.

Me: “Your total is $78.41, ma’am.”

Customer: “You didn’t apply my discount!”

Me: “What discount is that, ma’am?”

Customer: “I always get the coupons applied! Whatever coupons you’re running right now, I get them applied! Are you new?”

Me: “I’m not new, ma’am, but usually, if you want a coupon applied, you have to present the coupon.”

Customer: “I don’t like your tone! Get me your manager! I’m going to get you fired for that tone of yours!”

There is a loud and purposeful “ahem” from the line at the next checkout. The cough came from a man wearing a priest’s collar.

Customer: “Oh! Father! I didn’t see you there!”

Priest: “Yes, clearly.”

Customer: “I… I was just—”

Priest: “—just about to reveal that your behavior is an example of what not to do if you want to be kind unto others, just like I mentioned in my sermon this morning.”

Customer: “Well, yes, I—”

Priest: “I assume you know the lesson all too well, considering you were on your phone for most of it and didn’t need to hear it again.”

Customer: “…yes, Father.”

Priest: “Very good! See you next Sunday!”

The priest continued with his purchases, and my suddenly very subdued and quiet customer finished with hers — no discounts.

Jealousy Looks So Ugly On Them

, , , , | Working | June 22, 2023

My first job was cashiering at a nearby supermarket during the summer between my last two years of high school. The amount of work I had in my classes had gotten to the point that I couldn’t be comfortable with a huge amount of spare time, so I ended up working eight-hour shifts five days a week.

Over the course of the couple months I worked there, I somehow managed to have zero instances of scam attempts, rude behavior, or give-me-your-manager incidents from the customers I served, and I was under the impression that such behavior was rare.

So, you can imagine my surprise when, as I was clocking out after having given my two weeks’ notice, I was approached by a couple of my coworkers who had the demeanor of a squirrel that has been hit by a truck.

Coworker #1: “Customers, right, [My Name]?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Coworker #2: “We heard you handed in your notice. Tired of dealing with these customers, are we?”

Me: “No, school’s just starting back up, and I mostly took this as a summer job. I like this sort of public-facing job, though, so I’ll probably be back after I graduate if there’s still an opening.”

My coworkers traded confused looks.

Coworker #2: “You actually like working with customers?”

Me: “I mean… yeah? Scan their items, make a little small talk, receive payment, wish them a good day.”

Coworker #1: “And what about the people demanding a manager because they want a discount that we don’t offer? Or the people who give you a twenty and then insist they gave you a fifty? Or the parents with a rampaging child who don’t do anything to stop them?”

Me: “Never had an encounter like that.”

Coworker #2: “Then you’re a f****** moron.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Coworker #2: “If you seriously think that customers are nice people to be dealing with, then you’re a f****** moron.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but I’ve been working here for two months, and I’ve not met any customers of that sort. And you’re saying I’m a ‘f****** moron’… because I drew a conclusion based on a huge number of examples?”

Coworkers #1 & #2: “Yes.”

Me: “Wow. Right a**holes, you guys are.”

My coworkers proceeded to make my last two weeks a living Hell. Word spread throughout the workplace that I had never had problem customers, and I found myself hounded by insults during clock-in, on my breaks, and as I was clocking out… because I had inferred that most customers were nice people, based on the fact that I had met a LOT of nice customers. Management made no effort to try and dissuade them, even after I spoke to them about it.

I did NOT return to that workplace after I graduated.

Several years later, I have now witnessed a fair few misbehaving customers, but I still find that the vast majority of customers are decent people. Apparently, that makes me a f****** moron.

This Is Soda-Pressing, Part 5

, , , | Right | June 22, 2023

I am working in the produce section.

Customer: “Where are the Dr. Pepper fruits?”

Me: “Pardon me, sir, the what fruit?”

Customer: “The fruits they juice to make Dr. Pepper. What are they called?”

Me: “They don’t. That’s a soda, and as far as I am aware, no one knows the actual recipe outside of the Coca-Cola company.”

Customer: “Ugh, you obviously don’t know what I’m talking about. What fruit do they use to make Dr. Pepper?”

Me: “Again, sir, I don’t know, and I don’t think anyone does.”

Customer: “Fine, I’ll ask someone else! What about Fanta fruit?”

Me: “Those are oranges.”

Customer: “Aha! So, those you do know! How convenient!”

Me: “Not for me!”

He left before he asked me where to find the Coke-berries.

Related:
This Is Soda-Pressing, Part 4
This Is Soda-Pressing, Part 3
This Is Soda-Pressing, Part 2
This Is Soda-Pressing