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On The Aisle To Enlightenment

| CA, USA | Bizarre

(My friend told me this story the other day. We are both clerks at a local discount grocery store. We have new owners, who have recently started playing music other than ’70s Top 40 and early 2000s soft pop on the store intercom.)

Customer: “Could you have that music turned off? It’s the devil’s music. I know because I’m enlightened.”

(The music in question was something by Van Halen. My friend was confused, and looked at the customer, an older woman, incredulously.)

Worker: “Can I direct you to my—”

Customer: “And judging you by your response, you’re not enlightened. Bye.”

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Germaniac

, | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, History, Popular, Religion

(I’m slicing meat for a customer. I notice he’s wearing a shirt with a cartoon leprechaun flipping the middle finger and holding a half-empty glass of beer.)

Me: “Nice shirt.”

Customer: “Oh, this? Yeah, I’m Irish, so…”

Me: “I kinda figured.”

Customer: “What about you?”

Me: “Well, my ancestors were mostly German—”

(Suddenly the customer stomps his feet together, stands at attention, and does the Nazi salute.)

Customer: “SIEG HEIL! SIEG HEIL!”

Me: “—Jews. German Jews.”

Customer: “Oh.”

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Change (In Attitude) Required

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Money, Popular

(I work as a cashier at a grocery store, and during my first three shifts, a more experienced cashier shadows me to make sure everything goes fine. This happens the second night on the job.)

Me: “So, your total comes to [total].”

Customer: *hands me $1.75 more than total*

Me: “Okay, so your change is $1.75.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I gave you [$3 more than total].”

Me: “Sir, I still have what you gave me in my hand. You gave me [$1.75 more than total].”

(I show him what he gave me and I shows he didn’t have any other change.)

Customer: “You need to learn how to count your money and do your job!”

Supervisor: “Sir, [My Name] is more than capable of counting her money and she is doing her job. Now, are you going to take the $1.75 and stop bothering her on her second day of work, or do I need to call [Boss] and tell him you’re harassing his workers when they’re doing their job correctly?”

Customer: *mutters under his breath as he takes his change and bags his items*

Me: “Thank you and have a nice day!” *turns to supervisor* “Thank you for that.”

Supervisor: “Welcome to customer service.”

Next Customer: “You guys need to be paid more.”