We have this creepy older guy who always tries to flirt with the woman working the checkouts, even the part-time new starters who are around sixteen. It’s totally gross.

I’ve rejected him so many times that he’s become a bit bitter and cruel whenever he sees me. This is fine by me, as he usually tries to avoid my checkout lane, but for some reason, I get him today.

Customer: “Oh! It’s you! I didn’t recognise you as you’re actually wearing makeup today! No wonder. It’s amazing how much better you girls look in makeup.”

I try to ignore the remarks and just scan his items.

Customer: “Make sure whoever you’re wearing the makeup for knows what you really look like, eh? Don’t want him to be too shocked when it all comes off!”

My checkout manager has seen who I am currently serving and has wandered over. She strikes up a conversation with me, loud enough for the customer to hear.

Manager: “I’m always concerned for men who complain about how different women look without makeup. Like, do they think eyeshadow is permanent?”

Me: “I know! Like, do these people get scared when people change clothes?”

Manager: “Well… babies have no concept of object permanence.”

And with that, my manager stared pointedly at my customer for a moment before smiling at me and wandering off.

He was noticeably silent for the rest of the transaction.

It’s my first day working at the supermarket after training. I am talking about this to my manager when a customer approaches us.

Customer: “I’m looking for the pyramid tea bags — you know, the ones that grow on the trees? I don’t want those artificial flat ones.”

Me: “Uh… pyramid tea bags don’t—” 

Manager: “Right this way, sir!”

My manager shows him the boxes of tea bags that come in a pyramid shape, designed to improve how well they infuse the water as they steep.

Customer: “Perfect! Thank you!” *Trots off happily* 

Manager: *To me* “If you know what they’re asking for, just take them to it. You’re not paid enough to argue with stupid. None of us are.” 

Related:
Choose Your Battles, Part 9
Choose Your Battles, Part 8
Choose Your Battles, Part 7
Choose Your Battles, Part 6
Choose Your Battles, Part 5

I work in a large membership grocery store quite a few miles outside of town, at the checkouts.

Me: “To pay by credit, press the big ‘credit’ button on the screen. I think it’s the green one.”

Customer: “You think it’s green?”

Me: “Oh, haha, sorry, force of habit. I know it’s green, but I’m colorblind, so I can’t see it.”

Customer: “You’re colorblind?!” 

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “How do you get to work all the way out here if you’re colorblind?” 

Me: “Well, I drive. I’m colorblind, not blind-blind.”

Customer: “If you’re colorblind, how do you know when the lights are green?”

I had one of those customers that got angry with our service and said:

Customer: “I am never coming back here!”

However, this customer stands out in my memory is a little bit more, because a few days later I am working the checkout lane, and the same customer is there. She has bought bags from another store. 

Customer: “Don’t bag my items in your store bags. My husband and I are boycotting your store, and I don’t want him to know where I purchased this stuff!”

It’s my last day working at the grocery store, and my manager has said I am allowed to speak my mind (within reason) to one deserving customer before I go.

Customer: “Did you know your eyes are two different colors?” 

Me: “No, because I’ve never looked in a mirror before, and now you’ve spoiled the surprise.”

Customer: “…I guess that was stupid of me.”