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Always Right, Even With Other Customers

, , , | Right | April 3, 2008

(I’m a customer putting my groceries on the conveyor belt, and I realise I’ve forgotten one item. Half-way through loading my stuff onto the conveyor, I stop, and sprint across the store to pick up this item. As I get back, two little old ladies have put a separator immediately behind my groceries.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not quite finished. I forgot an item.”

Old Lady: “Oh, it’s okay. I’ve just put this here.” *points at the separator*

Me: “But I need more space for the rest of my groceries. Can you move your stuff back, please?”

Till Assistant: “‘Scuse me, love, he’s not finished.”

Old Lady: “I KNOW! I’VE JUST PUT THIS HERE!” *points at the separator*

Me & Till Assistant: “Huh?”

Old Lady: “Oh, never mind! We’ll go to another till! We can’t wait for HIM and HER to finish their rubbish!” *storms off*

(Seriously, WTF?)

Denial By Way Of Refund

, , , | Right | March 26, 2008

Me: “Hi, how are you? How may I help you?”

Lady: “Yes, I’d like to return this pregnancy test.”

Me: “Okay, what’s wrong with it?”

Lady: “It came out positive.”

Me: *confused* “Okay?”

Lady: “I can’t be pregnant, so this test MUST be defective. I want to return it.”

(For anyone who doesn’t know, it is very rare for a pregnancy test to mistake a positive pregnancy. A negative, yes, positive, no.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but you can’t return a pregnancy test you’ve already used.

Lady: “What do you mean I can’t return it?!? It’s wrong! I want to see your manager!”

(I go to the back to see my manager, who is a woman, and explain about the lady. We return to the front.)

Manager: “Hello, what may I help you with?”

Lady: “YES! I want to return this pregnancy test! It came out positive and I just can’t be pregnant! It’s wrong and I want my money back!”

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry. We can’t refund you on the test because it came out positive.”

Lady: “NO! I insist I get my money back!”

Manager: *getting frustrated* “Ma’am! I’m sorry but we cannot and will not refund you your money just because it came out positive. Congratulations on your new baby!”


This story is part of the Pregnancy Roundup!

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Instructions Are Your Friends, Part 2

, , , | Right | March 25, 2008

Customer: *staring at the credit card machine* “I don’t know what to do. What does it want me to do?”

Me: “What does the screen say?”

Customer: “Press the green button.”

Me: “Then… well… maybe you should press that green button there.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

Even Owners Have A Stupid Quota

, , , | Right | March 10, 2008

(A customer gives me a Canadian quarter. I refuse to accept it. He gets angry.)

Me: “Sir, I can’t accept this quarter. It’s Canadian.”

Customer: “So? I got it from somewhere in the US so you must accept it.”

Me: “No, sir, I can not. My drawer will come up short.”

Customer: “It’s not my fault someone gave me this quarter! Why should I take the blame for it? Take the quarter!”

Me: “Oh, I see. So it is my fault, then?”

Customer: “YES! Take the quarter!”

(I take a quarter out of my pocket and then throw that Canadian quarter across the room to a trash can.)

Customer: “Call your manager.”

Me: *smiling* “I am the owner, sir. How can I help you?”

 

Deja Vu In Aisle 3

, , | Right | March 9, 2008

(I work in the stock department of a small, local grocery store. Generally, I get one or two requests to check the back for an item a shift. An elderly woman around seventy-five or eighty approaches me. She is asking about a common type of flour we carry.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I’ve managed to find four of these. Would you care to check the backroom to see if you have any more?”

Me: “Sure thing.”

(I grab a single flour package from her. After one or two minutes of aimless searching in the backroom, I return the bag to the woman.)

Customer: “Why, thank you! Now I have four! That’s exactly how many I needed! God bless you!”

(I am way too embarrassed for her to explain the situation.)

Me: “You’re… welcome. Anything else?”

Customer: “One more thing, dear.”

Me: “What is it?”

Customer: “Can you check the back to see if you have any more of these?”