(My mom, my little brother and I are out shopping for groceries. My brother has a huge sweet tooth and he’s picking up candy, chocolate, and all sorts of sweet stuff into his cart. We are all adults and live separately.)
Mom: “Someone’s having a treat day, huh.”
Brother: “No, not really. I don’t have a treat day. I have a treat week.”
Mom: “Oh? How often is that?”
Brother: “Four times a month.”
(I’m waiting for a supermarket to open. It’s a public holiday and so the opening hours are a bit different to normal.)
Lady: “Why is it taking so long to open?”
Me: “It’s a public holiday. They open later than normal.”
Lady: “But it’s a Monday! They should be opening at regular time. I’ve been here almost an hour!”
Me: “So you’re going to work today?”
Lady: “Pfft, no, it’s a holiday. No one works on holidays.”
(I’m a customer at the grocery store using the self-check out. Another customer and his wife approach the self-check out when the husband suddenly stops and turns to his wife.)
Customer: “I’m not using self-check out! Those machines are smarter than I am!”
(It is shortly after the EU release of the popular video game ‘Grand Theft Auto V.’ I have just gotten off from work, and am walking through the supermarket I work at to get to the employee exit. I have just entered the beverage section of the supermarket, when suddenly a guy around the age of 18 comes crashing into one of the beverages coolers on a three-wheel kids bike.)
Me: “Whaa-”
(Before i get to react, he turns his head to me, still sitting on the bike, and looks at me.)
Customer: “Yo, give me all your money, b****!”
(I just stand completely confused, when suddenly he turns his head back down the aisle he came from.)
Customer: “Aww, f***, they are on to me!”
(He quickly pedals away from me on the little bike, followed by a girl I presumed to be his girlfriend running after him. She faces me shortly before running after him.)
Customer’s Girlfriend: “I’m so sorry. He has been playing that new Grand Theft Auto game all week.”
Customer: *a couple of aisles away* “You ain’t getting me punk!”
Related:
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 11
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 10
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 9
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 8
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 7
(I’m still unloading the cart when I notice something the bagger’s doing.)
Me: “Excuse, me, I don’t think you should put the flimsy plastic clamshell of blueberries in the same bag as the 10 pound sack of potatoes.”
Bagger: *cheerfully* “That’s okay. They’ll both fit.”
Me: “No, the heavy potatoes will smash the blueberries.”
(The bagger was speechless, with a look of complete shock, like that had never occurred to him before.)
