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Be Careful What You Ask For

, , , | Right | September 25, 2008

Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

Customer: “I want a wheat sandwich, with everything you like in it.”

Me: “Um, sir… you will be the one eating the sandwich, not me.”

Customer: “I SAID I wanted a wheat sandwich with whatever YOU like in it.”

Me: “Um… what kind of meat?”

Customer: “Didn’t you just hear what I said? WHEAT SANDWICH WITH WHATEVER YOU WANT ON IT!”

(I make the sandwich for the customer.)

Customer: “That wasn’t so hard now, was it?!” *walks away*

Coworker: “So… you like extra mustard and everything on it, especially jalapenos?”

Me: *smiling* “I don’t like mustard, I don’t like hot stuff, and I hope he has a terrible nice time in the bathroom.”

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My Fellow Americans, You Are Crazy

, , , , | Right | September 25, 2008

Me: “That will be [total].”

Customer: “Why’d your prices go up?”

Me: “Well, the cigarette tax just went up.”

Customer: “This sounds illegal.”

Me: “The state tax on cigarettes just went up. We don’t have control over that.”

Customer: “I know the President of the United States. I think I’m gonna give him a call.”

Me: “Okay… have a nice day.”


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Pepsi With A Hint Of Levis

, , , | Right | September 23, 2008

(A customer places a two-liter bottle of soda down at the end of the conveyor belt. When the conveyor belt, moves the bottle falls over and the cap shatters; the soda leaks all over my pants.)

Me: “Sir, you’re going to have to get another bottle if you still want to buy the soda.”

Customer: “But I wanted that bottle!”

Me: “Well, then… I’ll just squeeze the soda from my pants back into the bottle for you.”

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Cheapskates: FAIL

, , , , , | Right | September 20, 2008

Customer: “Hey, can I get these rolls at a discount?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, sir; it’s only six. We don’t discount the bags until right before close.”

Customer: “Well, the girl last night let me do it!”

Me: “Sir, I was working last night, and no, I did not.”

Customer: “All right, it was the night before! That girl!”

Me: “Richard?”

Customer: *slinks away*

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Ask A Stupid Question, Part 4

, , , , , | Right | September 19, 2008

Customer: “What time do you guys close?”

Me: “Nine.”

Customer: “… o’clock?”

Me: “No… feet. Nine feet.”


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