Unfiltered Story #98664

, , | Unfiltered | October 23, 2017

(This happens at my grocery store at least once a day, typically closer to 3-5 times.)

Me: Hello. Did you find anything today?

Customer: Yes.

Me: *Begins scanning items* Do you have a -official name of store’s card-

Customer: *Reading list as items scan* Those are supposed to be on sale.

Me: Yes. Do you have a membership with us?

Customer: Those are *names price.*

Me: *Takes a deep breath* Yes, do you hav-

Customer: Shush. Listen to me. The -items- are supposed to be on sale for -price-!

Me: Do you have a membership with us? The card or your phone number.

Customer: Oh. Yes. *puts in number and sales items instantly drop down to sales price.*

(Needless to say, they never apologize of even acknowledge their behavior.)

That’s… Not How Freckles Work

, , , | Friendly | October 21, 2017

(My mom has this conversation in the grocery store. Bear in mind, we are white and have traced our ancestry back to Germany and Ireland, and my mom is your typical Irish lass: Red hair, green eyes, pale skin, and freckles. She gets a lot of comments on her looks.)

Black Man: “I like your freckles.”

Mom: “Thank you.”

Black Man: “Do you think that’s black pigmentation?”

Mom: *confused* “Um, what?”

Black Man: “You could be a light version of us.”

Pregnant With Rage

, , , , , , | Right | October 20, 2017

(I’m pregnant, which means I can’t carry anything heavier than five pounds. My boyfriend and I are checking out at the store. One of the things we’re buying is a six-pound package of pork, so when the cashier bags it, I wait for my boyfriend to pay so he can move it.)

Customer: “Wow, you’re lazy!”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “Not moving the bag that’s pretty clearly there. Waiting for your manservant to get it?”

Me: “I can’t pick it up.”

Customer: “Why? Because you’re a lazy fat-a**?”

Boyfriend: “No, she’s pregnant and picking it up could cause us to lose the baby. Now f*** off and mind your own business.”

(The customer glares at us and walks off. My boyfriend apologizes to the cashier.)

Boyfriend: “Sorry about the language.”

Cashier: “Don’t worry about it; I would have said the same thing.”

Has No Power Over You

, , , , | Right | October 20, 2017

(I am a technician. I am fixing a blood pressure testing machine at the local supermarket when a man comes up wanting to have his blood pressure checked.)

Me: “Sorry, I’m not quite done here. I’ll have it up and running in a few minutes.”

Customer: “You aren’t really fixing that; you’re just stealing the electricity to power your laptop!”

(My laptop is indeed sitting beside me, not even plugged into anything.)

Me: “No, I’m not.”

Customer: “Would you like me to call a manager?”

Me: “Please, do it!”

(He didn’t.)

Should Have Egg-spected That

, , , , | Related | October 19, 2017

(I’ve always believed in answering my sons’ questions honestly. On the road to a grocery one day, one of them asks how babies are made. I explain. The four-year-old looks very thoughtful while we shop. However, he stays quiet until we are surrounded by senior citizens in the checkout line. Then, loudly and clearly, he asks:)

Son: “But how does the sperm get to the egg?”

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