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Fan-Assisted Fear

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work in a deli in a grocery store. In the bakery department the ovens beep when the timer goes off, much like an oven at home.)

Oven: *beep* *beep* *beep*

(Suddenly there is a loud drawn out scream. The entire section of the store is looking around to see what happened.)

Customer: *at bakery counter* “That beep scared me!”

Clerk: “I’m sorry, sir. They beep when the timer goes off.”

Customer: “You shouldn’t have things that scare people! You need to turn them off!”

Clerk: “There’s no way to turn the beep off, sir. We need it to know when the oven is done.”

Clerk: “There are things that scare black people and things that scare white people and that scared me!”

(The clerk is black and the customer is white.)

Clerk: “Sir, I’m sorry but we aren’t afraid of ovens…”

(The customer storms off muttering to himself.)

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Conversational Weirdness Is Spiraling Upward

| NY, USA | Bizarre

(A customer is being served by a coworker at the deli at the grocery store where I work. My customer notices their transaction.)

Customer: “What was that ham that you sliced the other customer?”

Me: “That was the spiral ham.”

Customer: “Oooh, I usually associate the word “spiral” with a staircase… Can you imagine if you were sliding down a staircase banister and suddenly it turned into a straight razor?”

Me & Coworker: *exchange shocked looks*

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It’s Going To Be A Long Weight

| Dunbar, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Popular

(I am a cashier.)

Customer: “Excuse me… but why does that say I am being charged $2.91 for these bananas when they are only 44 cents a pound?”

(I look at the screen to see that the customer confused the weight of the bananas, 2.91, with the price he was being charged, $1.44.)

Me: “No, sir. That’s the weight. The price that you are being charged is here.” *I point to $1.44 on the screen*

Customer: “I know that. But why does it say that I am being charged $2.91 for these bananas?”

(Since I am new at the store, I started to think that this was a prank being done by a few friends of mine who got me the job.)

Me: “No, that’s the weight. Not the price. The price you will be paying is $1.44.”

(At this point, I take my finger and walk the customer through what is on the screen, which looks something like this: 2.91 lbs. X .44 [price per pound] = $1.44)

Customer: “I know that’s the weight—” *points to the weight* “—that’s what I am being charged—” *points to $1.44* “—but why am I still going to pay 2.91?”

Me: “Sir, that’s the weight. Not what you will be paying.”

Next Customer In Line: “Oh, my god!” *picks up his groceries and leaves*

(I am working one of the express lanes and have a line of about five customers, not including the current customer. After this latest exchange, I noticed that my line is completely gone. At this point, I am out of things to say and do.)

Customer: “OH! THAT’S THE WEIGHT! SO I’M PAYING $1.44!”

(After this sudden revelation, I quickly rang the customer’s remaining items and sent him on his way!)