Not How A Lady Should Behave Over Lady Fingers

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(During the winter holidays, we get in a lot of seasonal cookies and candy that are really limited buys, so customers will stock up when they first start arriving. It is about a week before Christmas. I am restocking some of said cookies when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: *carrying a hand basket filled with groceries* “Excuse me, where are your Lady Fingers?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry but we’re already out of those for the year. They’ve been really popular, but I know the Safeway across town also sells them.”

Customer: “You mean you don’t have anymore?”

Me: “Yes. I’m very sorry about that, but we’re all out for the year.”

Customer: “You have just RUINED my Christmas!”

(Actually throws her basket to the ground, breaking open the carton of eggnog she had and sending it spraying everywhere, and storms out of the store. I stand there, dumbfounded, as my manager comes over and asks what happen. I tell him and he just pats me on the back.)

Manager: “Yeah, go ahead a take a break; we’ll get this cleaned up.”

(The kicker? The same lady came back later on that day and did it again. Two days later she was back and asked the same thing, but the same manager told her we were out and asked her to leave and not return.)

Wish You Could Be Real With The Customers

| South Tampa, FL, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It’s December 23, and we are completely slammed. I’m at the tail end of a 9 am to 7 pm shift, and am looking forward to having the next week off from school and work. An older, professional-looking lady comes through my line with a huge cartful of groceries.)

Me: “Hello! How are you today?”

Customer: “Oh, just getting my Christmas dinner shopping done! I think I’ve bought too much. It’s quite busy in here tonight, isn’t it?”

Me: “The week of Christmas always gets a little crazy in here!”

Customer: “So, do you guys have special holiday hours this week?”

Me: “Today we are open normal hours, 7 am to 10 pm. We close at 7 pm tomorrow, because it’s Christmas Eve, and are closed all day on Christmas.”

Customer: “No extended hours for Christmas?”

Me: “No, ma’am. Your total is [total], and it looks like your credit card has been approved. I just need you to sign the receipt for me, please. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Well, I think you should be open longer this week. You know, for those of us who have REAL jobs and are unable to get here earlier.” *tosses the receipt at me, smirks, and marches out of the store with her overflowing cart*

(The bagger, who is working an 11-hour shift, and I stare at each other.)

Bagger: “Did she just…”

Me: “Yep. Merry Christmas to us!”

(Thankfully, management didn’t take her suggestion. 7 years and 2 post-college jobs later, and I’d still never think of talking to a retail worker like that. Note to Customer: RETAIL JOBS ARE REAL JOBS!!!)

Someone Had A Very Happy Holidays

| NY, USA | Holidays, Non-Dialogue, Rude & Risque

It is just a little before Christmas, I’m outside pushing carts, when a coworker asks me to check a strange black garbage bag that had been sitting next to her car all day.

Not being 100% clear of the regulations regarding random black garbage bags, I open it up to find inside a large piece of machinery. After a few moments, I lift up something that is instantly identifiable as a sex toy, which makes me realize that I am in the presence of a much larger mechanical sex toy.

I looked at my watch and see that my shift is thankfully now up, go inside, clock out, and go home. I found out later that the two night supervisors had to take care of it.

I was having no part of that.

Getting A Christmas Eve Reprieve

| IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Time

(On Christmas Eve we close at five pm. I have finished with my duties and go up to help the assistant manager, who asks me to guard the door to keep people from coming in the out door. This exchange happens.)

Customer: “Let me in.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, we’re closed.”

Customer: “There are people in there; I just need a few things.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we are closed. They are trying to check the last of the customer’s out so we can all go home. You might go to the [Competitor] pharmacy down the street. They are staying open.”

Customer: “LET ME IN!” *tries to push by me, and although I’m not a big girl, I work in produce and throw around boxes of potatoes and cabbage daily so I am pretty much muscle*

Me: *stopping him* “SIR, I’m sorry. We’re closed. Please leave.”

(By this time our bagger, who was clearing the lot of carts, walks up. It should be noted he is a big guy, a lineman on the local football team.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], need help?”

Customer: *stops, blinks and gets a nasty look on his face* “I want to see the manager.”

Me: “Sir, it’s Christmas Eve; we all want to go home to our families.”

Customer: “I want to see your manager NOW!”

Me: “Sir, it’s Christmas Eve; he’s at home with his family.”

Customer: “Then get the assistant manager!”

Me: “Sir, It’s Christmas Eve; he’s at home with his family.”

Customer: “Then get the other assistant manager!”

Me: “Sir, It’s Christmas Eve; she’s at home with her family.”

Customer: “Then get the assistant manager!”

Me: “Sir, see that man there frantically bagging those customer’s groceries? He is the manager on duty and has two-year-old twins he’s trying to go home to spend Christmas Eve with.”

(My coworker walks up to him, taps him on the shoulder.)

Coworker: “I’d like to go home to be with my family since it’s Christmas Eve, and the manager said I couldn’t go until he does. Give me your list. If I can’t get it in five minutes you’re not getting it.”

Customer: *his head starting to slump in dejection and mumbles* “I don’t have a list.”

Me: “Sir, I’m so sorry. Try and have a Merry Christmas. I hope you can get what you need at the [Competitor] pharmacy.”

(Less than an hour later we all were finally locking up, me warning the assistant manager about the customer. We all notice the customer heading back our way with only a 12-pack of beer.)

Assistant Manager: *shaking his head at the customer* “Thanks, [My Name] and [Coworker]; don’t worry about any complaints. I’ll take care of any with the store manager. Merry Christmas!”

Sadly These Kinds Of Warnings Are Not Nuts

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m working the food demo station at a popular grocery store. The sample of the day is basically a new peanut butter on a cracker. Because of peanut allergies, we have a sign attached to our sneeze guard that says, “Allergy Warning: Contains Nuts.” A customer walks up, reads the sign that says what we’re serving, looks at the sample, then at me.)

Customer #1: “There are peanuts in this! Some people have peanut allergies! You should have a sign warning people with allergies that there are peanuts in this!”

Me: “Yes, we do have an allergy warning right here.” *I point to the sign located right next to the other sign she just read*

Customer #1: “You should have a bigger sign!”

(She walks away without taking a sample. A few minutes later, another customer comes up and reads both signs.)

Customer #2: “‘Contains nuts’? You really need to post this? It’s peanut butter. Of course it contains nuts.”

Me: “You wouldn’t believe it…”

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