Ten Out Of Ten For Trying

| MD, USA | Romantic | August 17, 2016

(I am a cashier, working at a local grocery store on register four. An older man and his wife come up to the register:)

Man: “The sign is wrong; it says you’re a four but I think you’re a ten!”

Me: “…”

(His wife didn’t seem to care!)

Sampling Error

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | Working | August 16, 2016

(There is an organic food store in my hometown that gives out samples. Pretty cool idea, but they leave big bowls out for anyone to stick their hands it, a violation of our state’s health code. I used to manage sample demonstrators, so I know the codes quite well.)

Me: “Excuse me, sorry, can I talk to a manager?”

Employee: “Why?”

Me: “I have to sort of complain about the samples.”

Employee: “What is wrong with them?”

Me: “This is going to sound strange, but it’s how they are served. It’s against New Mexico law to serve them like that, especially, leaving the cooked meats out below proper temperature. It’s a health risk.”

Employee: “Well, the health people have not said anything about it.”

Me: “Have they come in here and seen it?”

Employee: “I don’t know.”

Me: “I would call them and make sure they give you the stamp of approval, otherwise, they can shut the store down for health reasons and that information is public.”

Employee: “What? You want to shut us down?”

Me: “No. I am saying that you should call the health department and get your demos cleared with them, otherwise they can shut you down. I used to manage sample demonstrations for years, so I am very familiar with how picky they are. One of the other stores in the chain I worked for got shut down because two demos had been left out and no one was throwing them away after they were touched by people. You have to do small cups instead of communal bowls.”

Employee: “Look, it’s really none of your business, miss.”

Me: “I am just trying to help. Because if they shut you down, that is a huge profit loss for the store and a huge red flag for people who shop here.”

Employee: “Right… maybe you should just leave, then.”

Me: “What?”

Employee: “If you don’t like the demos, don’t taste them. If you don’t like the store, don’t shop here.”

Me: “Uhm, I have nothing against demos or the products being shown. I have a problem with potentially getting a lot of people sick. Obviously I like it here, since I have a rewards card and I don’t want to see the store shut down for health code violations….”

Employee: “Yeah, whatever.”

Me: “Uhm, now can I see your manager?”

Employee: “Seriously? Fine.” *walks away*

(I wait ten minutes before asking another employee to find the manager for me. Turns out that this one is the manager.)

Me: “Oh! Good. I had asked for you a bit ago.”

Manager: “You did? I am sorry, no one told me. How can I help you?”

Me: “Well, this is a sort of weird complaint, but I have a problem with your samples. Having unmanned carts with communal bowls and cooled cooked meats—”

Manager: “Those stations are supposed to be manned.”

Me: “They aren’t.”

(The manager called the kid over who was supposed to be running them and, of course, it was the rude one from before, who did not look happy to see me. The next time I went in, the samples were great!)

Piercing Observation, Part 2

| Tampa, FL, USA | Right | August 16, 2016

(It is my first month of working as a cashier for a high-end grocery store and I am getting a lot of Jesus-pamphlets and comments about my piercings (my employers encourage them; they are fine by policy). One day it is especially busy and I am still a little slow at scanning / typing codes for fruits and veggies… An older male customer in his mid-50s with a young woman and a baby come through my lane. The older man says something turning to the younger woman, and all I hear is “…all that s*** on her face.”)

Me: “Excuse me, sir? Is there a problem?”

Customer: “Oh, I just think you’d look better without all that crap on your face.”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. I like it and I look good with it.”

Customer: “Well, have ya looked in the mirror lately?”

Me: “Yes, every day, and I like what I see.”

Customer: “You should get your eyes checked!”

Me: “I did about three months ago, sir. My vision hasn’t changed in over three years.”

(The customer got seemingly flustered at my confidence and as I handed him his receipt looking him straight in the eyes, I think he realized how rude he was and laughed it off with an Elvis impersonation (?!).)


Hat Tip To Your Solution

| Chapel Hill, NC, USA | Working | August 15, 2016

(I’m the customer in this story. I’m in the checkout line buying beer. It should be noted that I frequently wear hats and I started losing my hair in college.)

Cashier: “Can I see your ID?”

Me: *hands ID*

Cashier: “You don’t look 27.”

Me: *pulls off hat* “Now I do!”

Bake Up A Storm

| Seattle, WA, USA | Right | August 13, 2016

(The line is stuck because of one customer who is buying a huge amount of wine and other foods, and keeps complaining.)

Customer: “That’s all you had. Why don’t you have it?!”

(The clerk is ringing her up and being nice, and then asks the fatal question:)

Clerk: “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Customer: *like it just occurred to her to mention it* “NO, I DIDN’T ACTUALLY! Where is the ‘NO BAKE FLOUR’? You didn’t have any!”

(Turns out she wants to make ‘no bake cookies’ for her house gathering and was NOT PLEASED that the grocery store didn’t have “no bake flour”. The clerk is boggled and finally says:)

Clerk: “That sounds like a ‘foodie’ thing; maybe for that?”

(She finally goes, and the guy in front of me is buying water and beef jerky. He pays and goes without a word. I am next and I greet the clerk, then say:)

Me: “There is no such thing as ‘no bake flour.’”

Clerk: “I know. I just wanted her to go…”

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