That’s Not One Smart Apple

| London, England, UK | Working | February 27, 2016

(I am quite up to speed on technology, but find it quite awkward when paying for groceries using my phone or watch. I have gone to the grocery store, but realize that I have forgotten my wallet. I get to the checkout.)

Me: “Hi, I’ve forgotten my wallet. Do you have Apple Pay?”

Employee: “Sure!”

(The employee went away, which I thought was quite odd, and came back and handed me something.)

Employee: “Here’s your apple pie!”

Zodiac Whack

| Rockville, MD, USA | Right | February 23, 2016

(I work in a market that tends to draw some crazies. This particular incident actually happened to a coworker who was bagging groceries)

Customer: “Can you please provide me with a different bagger? I get the feeling that you’re a Gemini and I just can’t have that type of energy around me right now.”

Making Sweeping Statements

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Working | February 22, 2016

(I overhear this exchange between my third assistant manager and a coworker. My first assistant manager, a woman, is not well liked by most of the staff.)

Coworker: “Do you know where the brooms went? We had three up front and now I can’t find any.”

Third Assistant Manager: “I think [First Assistant Manager] has been riding them home every night.”

An Unhealthy Attitude Towards Healthy Attitudes

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Working | February 18, 2016

(I am a pretty healthy person. I love veggies and fruit, which is what my cart is full of, as well as nuts, chicken, and other assorted food.)

Cashier: “You don’t have any fun food!”

Me: “What? Oh, I love this. It tastes great.

Cashier: “No, no, you need a pizza or something! The only kinda fun thing on here are the chips, but you got the organic ones!”

Me: “Those ones are made with flax seed. It gives them a different flavor that I really like. They taste great with hummus!”

Cashier: “Why don’t you run and get a pizza or ice cream?”

Me: “I don’t want to. This is the sort of food I like.”

Cashier: “Are you anorexic?”

Me: “Excuse me?!” *I am 5’4 and 115 pounds, which is slim, but definitely not anorexic looking*

Cashier: “Well, this seems like the sort of food an anorexic would get. Are you trying to starve yourself? You are already pretty tiny. You should probably get some real food so you don’t disappear.”

Me: “Wow. Do you know that is pretty rude to say?”

Cashier: “Hey! I am not being rude!

Me: “Okay, then. Can you just ring me up now?”

Cashier: “Can you at least grab a candy bar?”

Me: “Seriously?”

Cashier: “What? I am trying to look out for your health!”

Me: “Everything on this entire belt is healthy. Everything you mentioned is not healthy.”

Cashier: “But it’s good for your soul!”

Me: “So eating food that I am not fond of is supposed to make me happier than eating food I actually like?”

Cashier: “Yes!”

Shopping With Plenty Of Baggage

| Petaluma, CA, USA | Right | February 16, 2016

(I’m out shopping with my mom. We finish getting our items and head to a checkout line. My neighbor, who is a cashier, is working the cash register that we are at. He is finishing up a transaction with the customer in front of us when I hear this joke…)

Neighbor: “All right, sir. Would you like a bag with that? I can give you one from under my eyes.”

Page 56/255First...5455565758...Last