Happiness Is All In The Wrist

| CA, USA | Right | March 7, 2016

(The customers have just asked me to write on a cake. They are a woman, Customer #1, and a man, Customer #2. After I have written on it, Customer #1 is looking at my handiwork.)

Customer #1: “Oh, wow, you have nice handwriting.”

Me: “Thank you very much.”

Customer #1: “Very steady, and good wrist work. You must make your boyfriend very happy.”

Customer #2: *obviously very shocked, he sputters and tries to say something like “you can’t say that!”*

Me: “Actually…” *holds up my left hand and points to my ring* “Wedding ring.”

Customer #1: “There, see? You made him very happy.”

Akin To Your Kin

| PA, USA | Related | March 1, 2016

(I am babysitting my two nieces. I bring them and my two sons to the store. We are standing in a rather long line at the checkout.)

Niece #1: *picking up candy* “Can I get this?”

Me: “Sure. Everyone can get one candy bar.”

(All four kids then start trying to pick out candy, asking for more than one, etc. An older woman behind us is watching the whole thing.)

Older Woman: “All of your children look so much alike, especially your daughters. They look just like you.”

Me: “They aren’t my daughters.”

Older Woman: “But you said they can get candy!”

Me: “I’m watching them but they aren’t my daughters. I only have sons.” *points to my sons* “These are my nieces.”

Older Woman: “But they look just like you!”

Me: “That’s because I’m their aunt. They aren’t my daughters. I only have sons.”

Older Woman: “They all look so much alike.”

Me: “Yes, they do. But they aren’t my daughters.”

Older Woman: “Are you sure?”

(I really had no answer for that question.)

Not IT’s Department

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Friendly | February 28, 2016

(I used to work in the IT department for a well-known grocery chain.)

Friend: “Oh, you work for [Grocery Store]?”

Me: “In the IT department, yes.”

Friend: “Then you can probably answer this question: Why are the grocery prices so high?”

Me: “…I have no idea.”

Friend: “But you work there!”

Me: “Yes, in IT. I write and test computer programs. I have nothing to do with setting the prices.”

Friend: “Oh. Well, how about this: I was in [Grocery Store] the other day, and the lights flickered. Did you have anything to do with that?”

(I laugh, thinking she’s joking. She’s not.)

Me: “No. I didn’t.”

Too Taxing For Them To Understand

| ON, Canada | Right | February 28, 2016

(About once a month, the grocery store I work at holds a sale event called “No Tax Day” where the store pays the taxes for the day. There’s no real way for our system to do this automatically. I work the U-Scan machines. At every machine, we have a large, bold sign telling customers to hit the help button when they’re finished scanning so the attendant can remove their taxes for them. Despite this, most customers do not. I try to catch as many as I can before the customer gets a chance to hit the payment button, and some sorts of payment I can cancel from my station to take off the taxes. The debit/credit machines, however, have to be cancelled from their pinpads.)

Customer: *hits the debit button and begins debit payment*

Me: *notices, rushes over, pulls out her card and puts it down, and hits the cancel button on the pinpad* “Ma’am, if you’ll give me just a moment, I can take off your taxes for you before you pay.” *taps the sign*

(I rushed back to my station, which only took a moment. By the time I got there, she’d already begun her debit transaction again.)

That’s Not One Smart Apple

| London, England, UK | Working | February 27, 2016

(I am quite up to speed on technology, but find it quite awkward when paying for groceries using my phone or watch. I have gone to the grocery store, but realize that I have forgotten my wallet. I get to the checkout.)

Me: “Hi, I’ve forgotten my wallet. Do you have Apple Pay?”

Employee: “Sure!”

(The employee went away, which I thought was quite odd, and came back and handed me something.)

Employee: “Here’s your apple pie!”

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