Comic: The Only Thing She Skipped Was Kwanzaa

| New York, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Comics, Extra Stupid, Holidays, Religion

Suffering From A Vowel Movement

| MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Language & Words

(The grocery store I work in has a week every summer in which we put Hawaiian-esque foods on sale, such as tuna, pineapples, spam, pork, coconuts, etc. Neighborhood luaus are very popular in our area during the summer. We have signs proclaiming this all over the store.)

Customer: “I need to speak to your manager right away!”

Me: “I’m the manager. What can I help you with, ma’am?”

Customer: “I’m an English teacher, and I’m appalled by your signs!”

Me: “What’s wrong with them?”

Customer: “Whoever made then doesn’t know how to spell! Don’t you people know that you can’t put four consonants in a row?”

Me: “You mean vowels? And that is how you spell ‘Hawaiian,’ ma’am.”

Customer: *exasperated* “God, all of you are such f****** idiots! I’m looking it up on my phone right now!”

(She did just that, and my coworkers and I watched as she suddenly paled, ditched her cart, and left the store. We haven’t seen her back since, even though she was a regular.)

Smooth Out The Allergy Situation

| KS, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Me: “Hiya! What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like to exchange this peanut butter.”

(She hands me the peanut butter and the receipt.)

Me: “Oh, okay. Any reason? Is it bad?”

Customer: “Oh, no, it’s not bad. It’s just that it’s the chunky kind, and I need creamy.”

Me: “Oh! Well, if you want to go grab the one you want, I’ll get you fixed up and on your way!”

(She goes and gets the creamy peanut butter and comes back. I check the prices and hand her the right one.)

Me: “All righty, you’re all set! Have a good day!”

Customer: “Thank you!” *laughs* “I can’t believe I picked this up. I can’t have the one with the chunks in it. I’m allergic to peanuts!”

(She walked off and my manager and I exchanged very confused glances.)