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Expressly Oblivious

| MA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Popular

(It’s incredibly busy, and our store is tiny — we have two registers, and hardly any counter space. A woman comes up with a basket full of cosmetics and creams. I ring everything up as quickly as possible.)

Me: “Okay, that’s going to be $60.50.”

Customer: “What? Really? That seems way too high.”

(A bit of sticker shock is understandable, since it’s a small pile of more expensive stuff that adds up, but the line is getting longer and longer.)

Me: “I don’t think I made a mistake. These things are all taxable. Maybe that’s throwing off your math?”

Customer: “No, it’s way too high. Let me see… uh, $1.99… plus $4.50… That’s $5.00? No, $6.00… plus $3.99… up to $9.00…”

(She apparently going to manually add up all of her groceries, and she’s taking her sweet time. I slide her basket back in front of the register.)

Me: “Here, I can just re-ring your items for you and we’ll see if anything’s off. This’ll be quicker and easier.”

(I scan all her items again, as fast as I possibly can, because there are at least five people waiting with their own full baskets and carts. The total comes to $58.00, and the customer smiles smugly…)

Me: “Oh, wait, the second package of tissues.” *I pull it out from under the basket, where it had fallen* “So, yes, $60.50.”

Customer: *while handing over her card* “That’s not right! I need to look at my receipt and count everything up. You’re way too fast; I’m not in a hurry.”

(I look at the completely packed store and paste on a smile to keep from screaming.)

Me: “Well, the customers behind you might be in a hurry, though…”

(The customer glares at me, snatches her receipt, and begins to veerrrry slowwwllly match up her items to the prices on the slip.)

Me: *shoving her basket down to the edge of the counter* “I’m just gonna slide you down so I can help the next customer; you look that over and ask if you have any questions.”

(She stood there, taking up about a third of the counter space, reading her receipt for about fifteen minutes before finally deciding I wasn’t trying to cheat her. In that time I must’ve served half a dozen other customers, and the line never let down. A different customer actually had to grab her cart and move it out from the aisle, because she was so oblivious of other people moving around her.)

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Your Overfriendly Neighborhood Grocery Store

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I am working as a cashier at the grocery store I work for. It is early in the day and not every busy. I have a regular customer come up to my register, who is always pleasant, and she, I, and the bagger are having a great conversation. I am at the time the fastest cashier at my store and the bagger is pretty quick as well. During this time I had several people go to different lines because there was no waiting and the regular had a larger order. All her items are bagged and ready to go as soon as the transaction is over. There is now another customer waiting in my line who seems impatient.)

Me: “Okay, you are all set for today! Have a great day!” *I turn to help the next customer* “Hi! How are you today?”

Customer: “You know, you shouldn’t talk so much!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “That last person you had! You had other people waiting in your line that got fed up with you talking too much and had to go to other lines! You should not hold other people up just because you talk too much. It is rude.”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, if I made you wait too long. It was not my intention.”

Customer: “Well, next time don’t talk too much!”

(She leaves, and I turn to my bagger with a confused look, which the bagger shares.)

Bagger: “Did she just complain that we were being too friendly?”

Me: “Apparently. You know those other customers left because they could tell it was a large order and there were open lines.”

Bagger: “Well, at least working in a grocery store is never boring!”

(The best part was about a week later the regular customer came back through my line, and I had the same bagger again, and she overheard the whole thing. She told us we were wonderful, and that she was actually amazed by how quick we were!)

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The Gift Card That Keeps On Taking

| Boulder, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

(I work in a grocery store as a cashier. I am ringing up a customer and we get to the end of the transaction.)

Me: “That’ll be $5.17 for you today.”

(The customer swipes his card and it gets declined. At this point I notice that it’s a Visa gift card.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry… It didn’t seem to accept that amount. Do you know the balance that’s left on the card? It’ll probably go through if I type in the specific amount.”

Customer: “I don’t know. You check.”

(He shoves the card at me.)

Me: “Oh, unfortunately our system is only set up to check the balance of our store gift cards. I don’t have a way to check the balance for you. Sorry about that!”

Customer: “You check. You should know the balance.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, like I said, our registers are only set up to check balances on store gift cards. That’s a Visa gift card, so I have no way of checking the balance on your gift card.”

Customer: “Why are you making this so difficult? It’s your job to know my balance, not mine.”

Me: “As I said before, I unfortunately have no way of checking your gift card balance on my register, since it’s not a store gift card.”

(Finally the customer takes out a crumpled receipt and tosses it on the counter along with the gift card, which has the original balance written on it.)

Customer: “You do the math and figure it out.”

(I type $3.15 into the register and hit the debit button.)

Me: “Okay, so $3.15 is going on the card and I just need you to swipe one more time.”

Customer: “I already swiped it before. I shouldn’t have to do it again.”

Me: “Oh, you just need to swipe it one more time since it didn’t go through the first time.”

(He finally swipes his card. I thank him and tell him to have a good night.)

Customer: “You should learn to relax.”