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Unfair Welfare

, | PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

Me: “…and your total is $[total].”

Customer: *holds up her SNAP (food stamps) card* “I’m paying with this. Can I get cash back on it?”

Me: “We only do cash back on Discover cards. Sorry, ma’am.”

Customer: “Why?! Everyone just wants to take, take, take my money! Take, take, take! No one is ever willing to give anything!”

(I was so stunned I couldn’t even manage to make a comment on the irony of her comment while holding a SNAP card.)

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Doesn’t Even Have To Massage The Truth

| Santa Rosa, CA, USA | One-Liners, Popular

(I am working on register at a popular grocery store. I usually make jokes and puns with the customers, partly because it’s fun for the customers, but mostly because it’s fun for me.)

Me: “How are you today?”

Customer: “It’s a good day; I just got off work.”

Me: *jokingly* “Oh, just rub it in, why don’t you?”

Customer: “I do; I’m a masseuse.”

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The Kicker? They Didn’t Kick Anyone

| IA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Popular

(I am the customer in this story. It’s a Thursday and I’m at the end of my errands which have not been going well, especially at this place. I approach the clerk at the express checkout lane with my handful of items that took half an hour to gather.)

Clerk: “Hello, how are you doing today?”

Me: *frustrated and exhausted* “Hi, I’m terrible; how are you?”

Clerk: *she’s clearly taken back for a moment* “I’m sorry to hear that. Can I help?”

Me: “I’m sorry, this the sixth store I’ve been to today. It’s crowded everywhere; people are blocking the aisles and just wandering around like they’ve never been shopping before. How can two people obliviously stand and block an entire aisle without realizing they’re being rude to everyone else?”

Clerk: “Yes, they are the worst.”

Me: *defeated sigh* “I managed to not kick anyone.”

Clerk: “And I’m proud of you for it!”

(Thank you, underpaid grocery clerk, for listening to my problem. You made my day *so* much better.)