(I work for a small chain of stores for a big supermarket in England. I get to work at 5:30 am to open at 6:00 with my manager, and have been doing this for the past two weeks because of overtime. Every morning, at about 6:30, a ninety-year-old man comes in to collect two of the same papers and always makes the same joke about needing one for each eye. Today is different though because the papers are late so he ends up waiting in front of my till talking to me. I have to ask customers to come up to my till so I can serve them. He is showing me pictures of his wife before she died. I think it is sweet so I just leave him alone as I am working stock. He then looked very thoughtful for a moment and then looks up at me.)

Customer: “Do you know anything about erectile dysfunction?”

Me: “No, I don’t, sorry. That more like a thing to talk to your doctor about.”

Customer: “Well, I just can’t seem to get it up. My girlfriend doesn’t appreciate it.”

Me: “Yeah, but that is something to talk to a doctor about, not a shop worker; isn’t it?”

(After that the papers came in and he left. I didn’t want to do any morning shifts anymore.)

(I work behind the customer service desk at a chain grocery store.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this chicken. My husband bought it earlier today, but one of the breasts looks a little odd to me.”

Me: “All right, do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “Right here.”

(She hands me over her packed chicken breasts and her receipt. I examine the chicken; it doesn’t look off to me, and it’s still within the sell-by date, but I shrug and check her receipt. And then I notice something.)

Me: “Uh, you are aware that this chicken was ‘buy one, get one free,’ right?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s correct.”

(I double-check the price on the receipt and on the chicken, she’s returning the package she didn’t have to pay for.)

Me: “So you know that you got this package for free.”

Customer: “But I want my money back.”

Me: “Yes, but this isn’t the package you paid for. You got this one for free as part of the sale.”

Customer: “But I want my money back.”

(We went back and forth for a bit before I called my manager and asked what to do. He said to make a one-time exception and give her the money. I had to return almost ten dollars worth of chicken she initially got for free. I couldn’t believe how spineless my manager was, and the smug little smirk the lady shot me as she walked away soured my mood for the rest of my shift.)

(I’m closing the restaurant on Christmas Eve and cleaning out the bathrooms when I miss this call.)

Coworker: “Hello! This is [Restaurant, Location]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. Just making sure you were still open. We would like [everyday burger deal] to go. We’ll be at the restaurant in twenty minutes.”

Coworker: “We close at 7:30 tonight.”

Customer: “What the f*** is wrong with you? Some of us are hungry!”

(This particular coworker has four children, has been there since nine am, and has had a splitting headache the whole shift. Obviously, she is tired of being there.)

Coworker: “No, what is wrong with you?! It’s Christmas Eve; we want to go home to our families! The grill has been closed and completely cleaned off. Everything in our restaurant is cleaned off. You are not getting any food from us tonight.”

Customer: “Are you serious?”

Coworker: “Yes, I am, if you want to leave a complaint, here’s the store number, my name is [Coworker], and here is the number for corporate.” *click*

(The manager who is busy cleaning equipment runs over.)

Manager: “What happened?”

(The coworker gives an explanation.)

Manager: “For dealing with that phone call for me, you can go ahead and clock out.”

(I am a supervisor at a store that is closing early on Christmas Eve, and will be closed on Christmas Day. It is the end of the day and I am waiting for my father to come and pick me up. The store is locked up but the lights are still on because there are a few associates still cleaning up from the busy day inside. We’ve had FOUR HUGE signs up for WEEKS reminding customers that we close early on Christmas Eve and we are closed on Christmas Day. I’m sitting on a bench by the door, and a customer walks almost into the doors assuming they will automatically open. His confusion quickly turns to anger as he tries to pry the doors open with his hands. I am watching in awe and trying my hardest to hold back laughter. He then starts yelling, “HELLLOOOOOOO!” I realize I should probably let him know we are closed, so I start this conversation with him.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but we closed at 7:00 today. I apologize, but we won’t be open again until the day after Christmas.”

Customer: “WHAT?! Well, how was I supposed to know that?!”

Me: “We’ve had all four of these signs posted since the beginning of the month.”

(I point to the signs in front of his face.)

Customer: “This is outrageous! I demand you let me in! Where am I supposed to get my milk?”

Me: “I don’t know, sir, but we are closed. Maybe try [Convenience Store]?”

Customer: “Ugh! You b****!”

Me: “MERRY CHRISTMAS, SIR!”

(It’s Christmas Eve and the supermarket where I’m shopping is packed. I’ve done my best to get around and not lose my temper and have managed to get almost everything I need. I line up at the checkout, not necessarily at the shortest queue but the easiest to get to, given how packed it is. Shortly, a lady lines up behind me. At this point, I am sick of people, the queue, Christmas, and everything. I hate stupid questions. Sarcasm mode kicks in.)

Lady: “What are we lining up for? I just want to get out!”

Me: “We’re lining up for a really exciting roller coaster!”