Peppered With Mistakes

| Right | June 21, 2011

Customer: “Is that chicken?”

Me: “No, they are stuffed jalapeños.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s pork?”

Me: “No, it’s a stuffed jalapeño.”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “A pepper.”

Customer: “Is that so?”

(The customer’s husband approaches and sees the stuffed jalapeños.)

Customer’s husband: “What is that?”

Me: “Stuffed jalapeños.”

Customer’s husband: “Oh, so it’s fish?”

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His Argument Will Lose Him Ground

| Right | June 15, 2011

Customer: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “I don’t understand what this sign says.”

(The customer points to a sign above the organic section. It indicates that all produce needs to be washed thoroughly.)

Me: “It means that before you eat any product, you should wash it.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because there might be dirt or other things on the item.”

Customer: “But these are organic!”

Me: “Organic means they were grown only with natural substances.”

Customer: “Dirt isn’t natural!”

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Not Economically Gifted

| Right | June 13, 2011

Customer: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Customer: “Do you sell gift cards that can be used anywhere?”

Me: “Do you mean something like a gift card that can be used in a certain mall?”

Customer: “No. Gift cards that can be used wherever someone wants to use them.”

Me: “Do you mean money?”

Customer: “Yes. Just like money…only a gift card.”

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A Gluten For Punishment

| Right | June 2, 2011

(A powerful storm has ripped through the state. The power has gone out. I have a rack of bread stuck in the oven with no way of removing it without power.)

Customer: “Do you have any hot bread?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. It’s stuck in the oven and the power is off.”

Customer: “Can’t you just open it?”

Me: “Not with the way our ovens rotate. There’s no way to get the bread off the rack.”

Customer: “Can’t you just reach in and grab one for me?”

Me: “Not without horribly burning myself.”

Customer: “Would you mind trying?”

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Cross-Branding

| Right | May 29, 2011

Customer: “Which is the better of these two cake mix brands?”

Me: “Well, both are on sale. One does contain more trans-fats, though.”

Customer: “Nah, I’ll go with this one. I’d rather use shortening than a stick of butter. Don’t want all of them…uh…transvestites.”

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