(I am standing in line at the cash register. It’s about seven pm and it has been a hot day, but dark clouds indicate that we will soon have some heavy rain. The cashier is helping a woman who is talking on her phone. I am behind her, and behind me there is a guy who is obviously a construction worker, coming straight from his job. I hear another phone ringing and the construction worker answers.)

Construction Worker: “Hello. Keep it short; I’m in the supermarket.”

(A few seconds pass.)

Construction Worker: “So, the job’s off? Okay, see you tomorrow. Bye”

(Meanwhile, the cashier has finished ringing the lady up, but the woman obviously isn’t finished with her telephone call. The cashier tells the woman the amount, but she just puts her fingers on her lips to indicate that the cashier isn’t allowed to speak. The construction worker steps forward and takes the phone from the woman. She looks at him in shock.)

Construction Worker: “You can get your phone back after you’ve finished your groceries so we all can move on.”

Woman: “I know you! You’re one of the guys that’s renovating my house.”

Construction Worker: “I was one of the guys. You didn’t pay your bills, so my boss called the job off. Now, pay for your stuff and get out; there are people here with important things to do.”

(The woman gets red in the face and pays, and after having her phone back she scurries away, but not after yelling to the guy that he hasn’t heard the last of this. She is just outside the shop when it starts raining heavily.)

Construction Worker: *laughs* “She will have a surprise. The roofers were just finished removing her roof tiles when their boss called them to stop because she didn’t pay them, either. They nailed some tarp on the roof and left. We stripped the inside of the house, so she’ll be living in a dump until she finds some new crews, because we’re not going back to that b****.”

(I would love to have seen her when she got home.)

(The grocery store I work at offers online shopping. Many people seem to think it’s like Walmart or Amazon, because they guarantee that they have the items in stock. We do not offer that guarantee, but if we are out of an item, we will sub it to the best of our ability. Occasionally, we will have a perishable item that we were out of come in on a truck later in the day, but it’s rare we get to the item before the customer comes. Some items, like coffee or alcohol, we never sub until we talk to the customer about it. For this particular order, the only thing out of stock is a pack of beer. This customer used to be really easy to shop for, but lately, she’s been a pain to deal with and so has her husband. As per company policy, I call the customer as soon as I’m done shopping the order. My store is one of the best in the district regarding late orders, averaging one late order every three or four weeks. Also, about 90% of customers do not come during the pickup time they selected. We shop orders in the order that they come in, and we try to keep a two- to three-hour cushion between when we finish shopping an order and when it’s due.)

Me: “The only thing we didn’t have today was [beer].”

Customer: “When will that be in?”

Me: “I honestly don’t know.”

Customer: “Okay, here’s the thing. You guys always call me hours and hours before my time slot. Why do you always call so early?”

Me: “We have a lot of customers who like to come early.”

Customer: “But you always call me three or four hours ahead of time, and it’s never ready because you’re always out of stuff. So, instead of calling me three and a half hours before my window, when you’re out of stuff, why don’t you call me thirty minutes before my window when you’ll have what’s out and my order is f****** ready?!” *click*

Me: “Did I just get yelled at for being too efficient?”

I work in one of the largest supermarkets in the UK, delivering groceries to customers at home. Today I saw something that actually made me laugh out loud.

Our team of pickers is sent out onto the shop floor to pick the items that customers order. I see a new picker being trained. His next item to pick is a pack of tampons. He walks up the aisle with the supervisor training him, looking incredibly nervous. He finds the tampons, identifies which box to get, and then, using his scanner, he nudges the box around to scan the barcode before using the scanner to sweep it into the tray. Both the supervisor and I are giggling at the seven-year-old style reaction to women’s hygiene products.

That said, I’ve also seen a male customer taking in the shopping pick up a packet of pads and stare at it like an unexploded bomb before his wife just sighed, took it from his hands, and laid it on the countertop.

Do most guys seriously not get how periods work?

(I work at a grocery store. I’m usually a cashier, but one day I am assigned outside, meaning I ask people if they would like help loading their groceries into their cars. I approach an elderly woman.)

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

Customer: “I’m good; how about yourself?”

Me: “Good, thanks. Would you like help loading your items?”

(She has very heavy things in her cart.)

Customer: “Oh, my goodness, thank you so much. I appreciate the help!”

(After I finish loading and am about to leave, she stops me.)

Customer: “Here, take this!”

(It’s a two-dollar tip.)

Me: “Oh, no, I can’t accept this. This is my job!”

Customer: *shoves the money into my hand* “Well, you have to take it now because I’m going to jump in my car and drive away before you realize what happens. Goodbye, dear. Thank you!”

(She’s still the best customer I’ve had to this day.)

(I work in a supermarket, mostly as a cashier, but sometimes I help stocking shelves. My coworkers and I have had several run-ins with a very rude customer; he’s offensive, condescending, and aggressive if he encounters any resistance. Our manager refuses to ban the guy because they live in the same building and he’s afraid of being attacked. The guy is free to come in and bully us, and customers, quoting, “I’m stronger than you; what are you going to do about it?” After not showing up for two weeks, he limps back into the store with a swollen face, black eye, broken swollen nose, swollen jaw, and a broken front tooth, and a few fingers on his right hand are broken. He looks like he had his a** kicked and no one in the store is sad to see it. After getting his purchases, he limps up to my counter.)

Rude Guy: *sees me staring* “Don’t you f****** laugh!” *clutches his jaw, which clearly hurts*

Me: “Of course, sir. Did you find everything you need?” *biting my tongue so I don’t ask him if he found painkillers*

Rude Guy: “Yeah, just ring me the f*** up.”

(After ringing him through, another regular watches him leave with a smile.)

Regular: “Looks like he found someone stronger than him; what do you think he’ll do about that?”