Hat Tip To Your Solution

| Chapel Hill, NC, USA | Working | August 15, 2016

(I’m the customer in this story. I’m in the checkout line buying beer. It should be noted that I frequently wear hats and I started losing my hair in college.)

Cashier: “Can I see your ID?”

Me: *hands ID*

Cashier: “You don’t look 27.”

Me: *pulls off hat* “Now I do!”

Bake Up A Storm

| Seattle, WA, USA | Right | August 13, 2016

(The line is stuck because of one customer who is buying a huge amount of wine and other foods, and keeps complaining.)

Customer: “That’s all you had. Why don’t you have it?!”

(The clerk is ringing her up and being nice, and then asks the fatal question:)

Clerk: “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Customer: *like it just occurred to her to mention it* “NO, I DIDN’T ACTUALLY! Where is the ‘NO BAKE FLOUR’? You didn’t have any!”

(Turns out she wants to make ‘no bake cookies’ for her house gathering and was NOT PLEASED that the grocery store didn’t have “no bake flour”. The clerk is boggled and finally says:)

Clerk: “That sounds like a ‘foodie’ thing; maybe for that?”

(She finally goes, and the guy in front of me is buying water and beef jerky. He pays and goes without a word. I am next and I greet the clerk, then say:)

Me: “There is no such thing as ‘no bake flour.’”

Clerk: “I know. I just wanted her to go…”

When You’re High On Coke

| North Bethesda, MD, USA | Right | August 12, 2016

(We have run out of Diet Coke. A woman comes in.)


Me: “I’m sorry, we’ve ran out today. We’ll have more tomorrow—”


Me: “We have our own brand diet cola; it tastes more or less the same? I can—”

Woman: *grabs a bottle of non-diet Coca-Cola* “I’LL HAVE TO HAVE THIS! AND IT’S YOUR FAULT WHEN I PUT ON WEIGHT THROUGH ALL THE CALORIES IN THIS!” *heads to till*

Me: “Umm…”

That Boy Has A Great Night Ahead Of Him

| Dallas, TX, USA | Related | August 12, 2016

(I am waiting in line at the cashier with my youngest son, who is four. Behind me are a couple of college-aged kids. When it’s my turn, I approach the register and the cashier greets me and my son, who is playing with his Toy Story toys in the cart.)

Cashier: “How are you doing today, young man?”

Son: “Great! I’ve got a Buzz, and a Woody!”

(The kids behind me were still laughing when we left the store.)

You’re In The Band

| South Tampa, FL, USA | Working | August 12, 2016

(One of my friends, who is a supervisor, enjoys shooting rubber bands at me from the customer service desk when there are no customers around. On this day, I’m working the express lane while my friend is behind the customer service desk, directly across from my register. I am ringing out a customer.)

Me: “And your total is $20.13, will that be cash or—” *I feel something hit me in the face* “—credit?”

Customer: “Credit, please.”

Me: “Okay, go ahead and swipe your—” *I feel something hit me in the shoulder* “—card.”

(While the customer swipes her card, I glance over at the customer service desk and watch my friend duck behind the counter.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?” *I spot a rubber band flying at my head and duck out of the way just in time*

Customer: “Ah… where are those rubber bands coming from?”

Me: “Oh, one of our supervisors thinks it’s funny to shoot them at everyone.”

Customer: *turns toward the front desk and wags her finger* “THAT IS NOT NICE!” *walks out*

(My friend started laughing so hard he almost fell over.)

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