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One Big (Alco)Hole In Their Plan

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I live near the Canada-US border, Canada side. It’s about nine o’clock at night and I’m working the front end of grocery store. A small group of people who look to be in their late teens or early twenties walk up to me.)

Customer #1: “Can you tell us where to find the alcohol in here?”

Me: *taken aback* “We don’t sell any.”

Customer #1: “Really?”

(At this moment it dawns on me that they’re probably from over the border, coming to buy alcohol here because we have a lower drinking age.)

Me: “Yeah. We… don’t sell alcohol in grocery stores in Canada. In general.”

Customer #2: “You’re kidding, right?”

Me: “Err… we don’t have a liquor license. It’s against the law for us to sell any.”

Customer #1: “Don’t you have something?”

Me: *shrugs sheepishly* “We have mouthwash.”

(I ended up directing them towards places that are allowed to sell liquor, though I have no idea if they were even open at such a time of night. They just couldn’t get over the fact that the grocery store didn’t sell any!)

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As Thick As Pea Soup

| SC, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

Customer: “Excuse me, I’m looking for soup.”

Me: “What kind of soup did you have in mind?”

Customer: “You know, soup.”

Me: *attempting to narrow down the options* “Were you interested in hot and ready to eat soup, or are you looking for canned soup?”

Customer: “I want soup.”

Me: *brain cells beginning to weaken and die* “We carry hot soups in the deli, but otherwise, you’ll find our soup selection in… the soup aisle.”

Customer: “Soup?”

Me: *nodding slowly* “Yep. Soup.”

(Customer wandered away.)

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Was ‘Meer’ly Asking

| Halifax, NS, Canada | At The Checkout, Funny Names

(I’m in an aisle returning items to the shelf when a customer notices my name tag, which says ‘Mir,’ and asks me about it.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s a different name. How do you pronounce it?”

Me: “Meer.”

Customer: *in a knowing tone* “And is that Middle-European?”

Me: “No…”

Customer: *confused and questioning look*

Me: “…it’s just short for Miranda.”

Customer: “That’s horrible! You tricked me! Here I thought I was being all clever, knowing where it comes from, and you tricked me!”

Me: *slightly stunned at her outburst* “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to…”

(I have people ask about my name multiple times a day, but I’ve never had anyone else get mad at me for ‘tricking’ them when my answers weren’t what they expected!)