Be Careful With Your Free Speech

| CA, USA | Working | July 11, 2016


(I work at a grocery market where my job is scanning and keeping track of bakery sales. Having just started my shift I am searching for my portable scan-gun. I see that the deli is borrowing it and ask Coworker #1 there to get it for me. Coworker #1 is black.)

Me: “Hi! Can I get the scan-gun?”

Coworker: *cheerfully* “Sure! Your wish is my command!”

(Her quote reminds me of the Disney’s Aladdin character Genie. Without thinking I respond with Aladdin’s quote to Genie.)

Me: “And now I wish you to be free!”

(Coworker #1 immediately frowns and looks offended.)

Coworker #1: “I already am free!”

(It takes me a split second to realize what I’ve done. My face turns bright red with embarrassment.)

Me: “Wait! No! I didn’t mean that! I was just movie-quoting what Aladdin said to Genie! I didn’t mean… I’m sorry! I was just—”

(She continues to glare at me and I’m too embarrassed to keep talking. I stammer a few more apologies out, grab my scan-gun and dash away. She told one of her coworkers and they burst into laughter explaining that I was a movie buff and tend to movie quote a lot. I was told later that she let it slide.)

Freeze In Terror

| Houston, TX, USA | Working | July 11, 2016

(I’m working in the bakery of a well-known grocery store, cleaning up at the end of a fairly long night. For once, I’m actually working with someone instead of being left alone.)

Coworker: “Hey, what happens if I leave the freezer door open too long?”

Me: “Well, eventually, the temperature in there will go above freezing, the stuff in there will thaw out and we’ll get in trouble.”

Coworker: *rolling her eyes* “I meant just for a few minutes!”

Me: “The ghost could escape!”

Coworker: “Pfft, whatever.”

(Suddenly, as she turns to go into the freezer, she screams in horror and recoils!)

Me: “What was it?!”

Coworker: “I left a cart in the doorway and wasn’t expecting something solid there!”

Me: “Oh, I thought you actually saw the ghost!”

Getting Rusty At Refunding

| MI, USA | Right | July 10, 2016

(My manager is called up to the customer service desk because a man is trying to return a patio table without his receipt. It’s a product we don’t sell anymore and was purchased over a year ago. It is clearly covered in rust.)

Manager: “I’m sorry but I can’t allow this return. We have a 90 day return policy; without your receipt and given this was purchased a year ago, there’s nothing I can do.”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager, then!”

Manager: “My manager will be in tomorrow. I can take down your information for her if you’d like.”

Customer: “No, I mean your regional manager! I’ll have him hear all about this!”

Manager: “All right, here’s his information.”

(The problem is, the customer will most likely lie, say he has his receipt, the product is in mint condition, and that we refused the return for no good reason.)

Working In The Land Of Nod

, | Copenhagen, Denmark | Working | July 7, 2016

(I’m working the morning shift with a coworker at a bakery department in a grocery store. I’ve been at the store for a long time while my coworker is fairly new, so I usually takes charge so things get done. My coworker is filing the cake display up. They way she is doing it isn’t the easiest way, so I try to help her out. Please note that I have given her the same advice before.)

Me: “You know, it’s a lot easier if you place the sign in front before putting the cakes up.”

Coworker: “Oh, okay.”

(She continues with what she is doing. She is now putting up rather tall cakes with a lot of whipped cream on top that is easy to ruin.)

Me: “It’s going to be really difficult for you to place the sign in front of those cakes afterwards.”

Coworker: “Oh, yeah, the signs. I completely forgot about them, thank you.”

Me: “But… I just asked you about it a few minutes ago and you said okay?”

Coworker: “Yeah, I tend to just nod and say okay without really paying attention.”

Something To Shout About

| NC, USA | Right | July 7, 2016

(I’m walking into a local grocery store like any other day, when suddenly I hear a guy behind me shout something very loudly and incoherently for no discernible reason. Obviously, this scares the living daylights out of me. I turn around and see two men and a woman walking behind me. The woman, whom I assume to be the older gentleman’s wife, has clearly seen me jump out of my skin and smacks her arm across his chest in a scolding manner. I say nothing and go about my business. Later, as I’m checking out:)

Cashier: “I saw what happened when you came in. You okay?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m fine. A little unnerved, though.”

Cashier: “The guy who yelled at you was getting an earful from his wife when they came in.”

Me: “Well, I’d imagine so…”

Another Cashier: “No, she was PISSED! She said something along the lines of, ‘What the H*** is wrong with you?!’ and ‘You might be a walking heart attack waiting to happen but that doesn’t mean you can give someone else one!’”

(I and the other cashier started laughing. Later I found a note on my windshield saying, “Sorry my idiot husband scared you.”)

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