An Alarming Amount Of Calming

| IL, USA | Right | December 31, 2016

(I am putting my groceries on the belt at the grocery store on New Year’s Eve. I only have about six items but have three more items to put on the belt. A woman steps into line behind me and starts unloading her cart. I move her items back on the belt to finish placing my order on the belt. She apologizes and I nod, turning back to the cashier as she checks me out.)

Customer: *clearly agitated* “Hey! I’m talking to you!”

(I turn to look at her, unaware that she’d been talking to me prior to this.)

Customer: “You can’t be mad about that people make mistakes. You’re crazy. What the h*** is your problem?”

Me: *genuinely confused* “I don’t think I said anything to you.”

Customer: “You gave me a dirty look! What is your problem; people can’t make a mistake?!”

(She continues to rant as the cashier nervously gives me my total which I need to ask her to repeat. As I’m ignoring the woman behind me she’s becoming more agitated and her volume is increasing. Once I pay it turn back to her and smile as brightly as I can.)

Me: “You have a very happy new year.”

Customer: “You need to calm the F*** DOWN! WHAT THE F*** IS YOUR PROBLEM?!”

(I mouthed good luck to the bagger as the customer continued to yell at me as I walked away.)

Not How A Lady Should Behave Over Lady Fingers

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Right | December 26, 2016

(During the winter holidays, we get in a lot of seasonal cookies and candy that are really limited buys, so customers will stock up when they first start arriving. It is about a week before Christmas. I am restocking some of said cookies when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: *carrying a hand basket filled with groceries* “Excuse me, where are your Lady Fingers?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry but we’re already out of those for the year. They’ve been really popular, but I know the Safeway across town also sells them.”

Customer: “You mean you don’t have anymore?”

Me: “Yes. I’m very sorry about that, but we’re all out for the year.”

Customer: “You have just RUINED my Christmas!”

(Actually throws her basket to the ground, breaking open the carton of eggnog she had and sending it spraying everywhere, and storms out of the store. I stand there, dumbfounded, as my manager comes over and asks what happen. I tell him and he just pats me on the back.)

Manager: “Yeah, go ahead a take a break; we’ll get this cleaned up.”

(The kicker? The same lady came back later on that day and did it again. Two days later she was back and asked the same thing, but the same manager told her we were out and asked her to leave and not return.)

And A Happy Nude Year!

| ON, Canada | Working | December 25, 2016

(I have been working long shifts for the past 12 days because of the Christmas rush, and I’m a little burned out. The lady I am serving has just bought a box of chicken breasts.)

Me: “Here’s your bag, and here’s your receipt. Have a Merry Christmas and enjoy your breasts!”

(The customer gives me a scandalized stare before hurrying out.)

Coworker: “I think you should go work in the back for a while…”

Wish You Could Be Real With The Customers

| South Tampa, FL, USA | Right | December 24, 2016

(It’s December 23, and we are completely slammed. I’m at the tail end of a 9 am to 7 pm shift, and am looking forward to having the next week off from school and work. An older, professional-looking lady comes through my line with a huge cartful of groceries.)

Me: “Hello! How are you today?”

Customer: “Oh, just getting my Christmas dinner shopping done! I think I’ve bought too much. It’s quite busy in here tonight, isn’t it?”

Me: “The week of Christmas always gets a little crazy in here!”

Customer: “So, do you guys have special holiday hours this week?”

Me: “Today we are open normal hours, 7 am to 10 pm. We close at 7 pm tomorrow, because it’s Christmas Eve, and are closed all day on Christmas.”

Customer: “No extended hours for Christmas?”

Me: “No, ma’am. Your total is [total], and it looks like your credit card has been approved. I just need you to sign the receipt for me, please. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Well, I think you should be open longer this week. You know, for those of us who have REAL jobs and are unable to get here earlier.” *tosses the receipt at me, smirks, and marches out of the store with her overflowing cart*

(The bagger, who is working an 11-hour shift, and I stare at each other.)

Bagger: “Did she just…”

Me: “Yep. Merry Christmas to us!”

(Thankfully, management didn’t take her suggestion. 7 years and 2 post-college jobs later, and I’d still never think of talking to a retail worker like that. Note to Customer: RETAIL JOBS ARE REAL JOBS!!!)

Alcohol Rubbing Them The Wrong Way

| UT, USA | Working | December 22, 2016

(I am at a grocery store on New Year’s Eve. I work in healthcare, so I am working that night, and am picking up some sparkling cider for me and coworkers to open at midnight. I don’t drink, and since we are going to be on duty, it is NOT alcoholic. I am twenty-four years old. I also need isopropyl rubbing alcohol for my home, so I pick that up at the same time. Also note, this is in an area where Mormonism is the predominant religion — a lot of people here don’t drink. The cashier starts ringing up my items and then pauses and looks at the rubbing alcohol and the sparkling cider.)

Cashier: “You know you can’t put the rubbing alcohol in the cider to make it alcoholic.”

Me: “I know.”

Cashier: “No. Really. It’s really dangerous.”

Me: “I know. I’m not going to.”

Cashier: “I don’t think you realize how dangerous it is. This alcohol isn’t for drinking.”

Me: “Look, I work in a children’s hospital, so I really do appreciate what you’re trying to do. I know teens do those types of things. But I just happen to be buying them both at the same time.”

Cashier: “I don’t think you understand… it could kill you.”

Me: “I understand perfectly. However, I don’t drink anyways because of my religion, and I’m on my way to work. I wouldn’t be drinking right now if I did.”

Cashier: “I’ve never heard of a religion that doesn’t drink.”

(This woman apparently lives in Utah but has never heard of a religion that doesn’t drink.)

Cashier: “I don’t think I can in good conscience sell you this.”

Me: “Look. Here’s my ID. I’m 24. If I wanted an alcoholic beverage, I would buy a real one, and not do some weird Prohibition-style punch.”

Cashier: “I want you to understand it’s dangerous.”

Me: “I do.”

Cashier: *shakes her head* “Okay, but I feel really uncomfortably with this.”

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