A Third Of The Way To A Breakdown

| MN, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(The current sale on a certain brand of pizzas is three for $10, making the sale price for each $3.33. A customer comes through the line with two pizzas.)

Customer: “I know the sign says three for $10, but I only want to buy two of these pizzas.”

Me: “That’s fine; they ring up at the sale price no matter how many you buy.”

(I scan one pizza and show him that it rings up as $3.33.)

Customer: “NO! You don’t understand; I want the SALE PRICE.”

Me: “$3.33 is the sale price.”

Customer: “No, it’s not!”

(I’m beginning to have a line, so I pull out a calculator to show the math.)

Me: “It is, sir. Look. Ten divided by three is 3.33.”

Customer: “NO! THAT’S TOO MUCH! DO YOU THINK I’M STUPID?!”

Next Customer: “I do.”

(The first customer refused to believe me, saying that he’d pay for them just this once. He also said he’d be informing a manager about the wrong sale price. Needless to say, I did not get in trouble.)

Very Slow Burn

| Victoria, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I am working in a large grocery store on a busy Saturday. Each till has at least eight people in line, and I can’t even see the end of the queue. I am scanning items as quickly as I possibly can and have not made any mistakes. My next customer is a lady with two overflowing carts of groceries, so I greet her and start scanning her items at my usual pace.)

Customer: “SLOW DOWN!”

Me: *startled* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “SLOW DOWN! I don’t like it when you scan my items so quickly.”

(I double check her bill but see no mistakes.)

Customer: “And I like to watch you scan every item so don’t touch another thing until I’m done unloading!”

(The line up is still quite long behind her, and she has barely unloaded any items onto the belt. No amount of reasoning will convince her to let me start scanning her items until she has unloaded each product, one by one.)

Me: *resumes scanning*

Customer: “I said not so fast! Do I have to report you to your manager?”

(In the end I had to scan her items at a snail’s pace, several people change queues, and when she finally pays and leaves she’s still muttering about reporting me to my manager.)

Next Customer: “Please scan my items as quickly as you’d like. I don’t mind!”

Credited With Having No Children

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque, Technology

Me: “Enter your PIN, sir.”

(He does, and then removes card straight away, not waiting for the machine.)

Me: “Sir, it looks like you pulled out early—”

Customer: “Story of my life! It’s why I don’t have kids.”

(The next customer and I burst out laughing.)