Crazy For Sushi

| New Hampshire, USA | Right | August 26, 2011

(I’m bagging a customer’s groceries.)

Customer: “If my sushi tips over, I’m gonna punch you in the face!”

Me: “Um, do you want me to put it in a separate bag for you?”

Customer: “You’d better.”

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The Orange Is Oranger On The Other Side

, | Brisbane, Queensland, Australia | Right | August 24, 2011

(I’m serving a customer when I notice a lady has been staring at the oranges for a long time, looking up, then looking down, and looking puzzled. The display has a slanted mirror above the oranges to make it look like we have twice as many.)

Me: “Excuse me, miss. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering if I could have some of those oranges.”

(She points to the mirror.)

Me: “Oh…um…”

Customer: “Is that okay? It’s just that those oranges look so much more orange than these ones!”

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In Some Cultures, The Conch Is Blown For Good Luck

| Winter Park, FL, USA | Right | August 20, 2011

(A lady comes through my checkout line with some frozen conch chowder.)

Me: “I’ve never tried this chowder before. Is it any good?”

Customer: *loudly* “Oh, yes! I just love cock! That’s how you say it, right? Cock?”

Me: “Ma’am, I think its pronounced conch…”

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Plan A And Plan B

| Yorktown, VA, USA | Right | August 12, 2011

(I’m a cashier working the night shift. It’s about 9:30 pm when a couple comes to my register.)

Me: “Hey, how are you guys tonight?”

Woman: “We’re just fine, thanks.”

(I start ringing up their things.)

Man: “We’re also gonna need–”

Man and woman: *glance at each other* “A pregnancy test.”

Man: “Also, the two pack deal on [cigarettes].”

(Thinking I’ve misheard the last part, I go get the test, ring it through, and finish ringing up their groceries.)

Woman: “Oh, you forgot the [cigarettes].”

Me: “Right. The cigarettes. Well, here you go.”

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Please, Say No More

| Houston, TX, USA | Right | August 5, 2011

(An older man, maybe late 50s with graying hair, approaches my register with a few groceries. Despite his age, he is very absorbed in his cell phone and paying little attention to what is going on around him.)

Me: “Hi! How are you today, sir?”

Customer: *giggles* “I’m doing exceptionally naughty things on my phone right now!”

Me: “Oh, that’s lovely! Do you have any coupons with us today?”

Customer: *leans in and whispers* “In the colloquial, that means I’m sexting!”

 

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