I’m neurodiverse and rather obsessive. Back in my fruit store days, I had a whole system for how I input the produce and another system for how I packed the bags. Someone outside my brain watching me work would often be really confused, but the end result was that I didn’t space out halfway through the sale and forget what I’d done AND I could pack everything so nothing would get damaged.

The only cashiers faster than me were the ones who would throw stuff in pretty much however, so mangoes would go in the same bag as a two-kilo bag of potatoes and have a high chance of getting smushed. As such, when I was told off for going too slow, I’d try to speed up a little, but I refused to compromise on the quality of my work.

We were quickly approaching Christmas and, naturally, the store was getting busier and busier. I was getting chewed out more often for “being slow”, but most of my customers were more grateful for how much care I was taking with all their stone fruit, grapes, and other fragile summer fruit — Christmas in Australia means A LOT of fresh fruit — so I didn’t care.

I was also slightly hampered by my charm bracelet — the old-fashioned kind, not the kind that is more like fancy beads. All those dangly charms with all the orange and onion nets were an extra challenge, but the sensory feedback I got from my bracelet made me happier than the frustration of getting slightly snagged occasionally.

One busy day, a customer approached me with a small charm for my bracelet — a lovely silver snowflake.

Customer: “This is a thank-you for taking such good care of my fruit yesterday!”

I was amazed and tried to give it back at first.

Me: “I can’t take such a gift for just doing my job!”

But she insisted, so I took it, thanking her a dozen times, and I got quite teary, to be honest. Tips are practically non-existent in Australia in restaurants, and they’re unheard of for cashiers.

That charm is still on my bracelet today. Honestly, the snowflake is now one of the worst culprits for getting snagged on things on my whole bracelet, but it never annoys me because I will always remember that customer’s kindness, even if I don’t recall her face! (D*** face blindness!)

I work in a grocery store, and I am carefully restocking the shelves with eggs. Since I am near the baking and bakery section, I am close to the cakes and pies. I overhear a customer on the phone, pushing her cart toward the pies.

Customer: “They got cherry pie, apple pie, and some chocolate ones.”

Pause.

Customer: “Because I have had a long week, and I am tired of salads.”

Pause.

Customer: “Oh, honey, I didn’t just fall off the diet wagon. I pushed that wagon off a cliff, threw gasoline on it, set it on fire, and used the insurance money to buy cake.”

She bought pie while I stifled some laughter. After my shift, I had a craving for — and so purchased — a pie!

CONTENT WARNING: Death, Gun Violence, Racism

On Tuesday a week before Christmas, a coworker of mine was walking to school, and he was sadly shot and killed. My coworker was only fifteen years old and was a really good kid. It is clear when you walk into the store that the morale is lower and workers are not in a holiday spirit. Because of the color of his skin, not many people want to believe he was a good person.

However, the community around my job and his school are full of people who knew him and will not let anyone slander his name. These are a couple of interactions we had in the few days following his death being released on the news.

Customer #1: “So, was that kid from here?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer #1: “You know, that kid who clearly was part of a gang. Got shot by a rival gang and all that. Was he really from here? Do you guys really hire gang members?!”

Me: “…”

I just keep looking at the computer, trying to finish the transaction as fast as possible. The customer in line behind [Customer #1] speaks up.

Customer #2: “What is wrong with you?! He was a kid! And a good one at that. I knew him personally and he would never be a part of something like that, and if you think so, then you need to get out of here and never come back!”

Another time: a local news crew comes in to ask questions. I am in the back, so it’s not my experience. A representative from the news walks up to the deli counter and corners the workers as cashiers call for managers at the sight of them. 

News: “Excuse me, excuse me! Can you quickly answer some questions about the young boy who was slaughtered? Was he in a gang? Did he have a history with drugs? How do you feel that he was so horribly slaughtered right before Christmas?”

Three managers and the store owners came around the corner and the news team hurriedly ran out of the store. We had to have a meeting saying that we were to not say anything pertaining to our coworker’s death, as we got more information than the public did.

Luckily, we had plenty of good customers who saw his picture, knew he worked with us, and came in demanding to donate money to the family. We currently have a book with four pages full and still growing of people wanting to donate to the family and help with the grieving process.

Customer: “I want to use these coupons.”

The customer presents a 10% off coupon for his entire purchase awarded by an affiliated brand. I scan the coupon, but then the customer presents a series of other store coupons.

Me: “Sorry, sir, but these coupons can only be used once per purchase. You can’t combine them all into a single purchase.”

Customer: “Show me where it says that.”

I show him the exact text that says that.

Customer: “Well, that’s so small and deceptive! Besides, I know you can override them on your register. Call over a manager.”

I do so, and the manager hears the customer’s complaint.

Manager: “Sir, the 10% off coupon for the single purchase can’t be combined with other coupons, but if you like, I can override the use of all the other store coupons so you can use them all in a single purchase.”

Customer: *Looking at me, smugly* “See? I told you that you could override it.”

My manager proceeds to override the register so that the customer can apply all the little [Store] coupons in one purchase — a $0.25 off here, a $0.50 off there, etc.

Manager: “Okay, those have all been applied for you. Your total is $64.29.”

The customer pays and throws one more smug look my way.

Customer: “This is why I drive a BMW and you’re a cashier. You need to have the fortitude to get what you want in this world.”

And with that, he waltzes off with his groceries.

Me: *To my manager* “His total was $64.29.”

Manager: “Yes.”

Me: “The value of all the coupons came to $2.50.”

Manager: “Also yes.”

Me: “If he’d used the 10% off coupon, he would have saved about $6.50-ish.

Manager: “Again, yes.”

Me: “And you knew that when you offered to override the coupons, didn’t you?”

Manager: *Winks* “Maybe yes.”

Related:
The Couponator 41: The Saga Of The Long-Suffering Wife
The Couponator 40: Armageddon
The Couponator 39: The Yarn Of Time
The Couponator 38: The Sandwich Of Frustration
The Couponator 37: The Year Of Reckoning

It’s my day off and I am in the big city, away from my local town. I am shopping at a supermarket that belongs to the same store chain as the one I work for back home, but it’s much larger.

An older couple who happen to be from my hometown (and are known to be difficult), ambush me and throw a stack of coupons at me.

Customer: “Go find these items.”

I stare at them. I am dressed in a skirt and tank top, carrying a shopping basket, not to mention being over fifty kilometres from my place of work. I carefully place the coupons in their cart.

Me: “I don’t work here.”

And with that, I walk off to continue my shopping. Never heard if they complained to my manager, but I wouldn’t put it past them.