(I do online shopping at a grocery store. Most store managers do not care at all about our department as long as we don’t have any late orders. They have to train in our department for two days before they’re officially managers, but after those two days, they usually never touch an online order again. We recently got a new store manager, and he doesn’t like that we have orders that go yellow — are due in less than an hour — all the time. We’ve been asking him to approve hiring another shopper, but he’s dragging his feet. Then, one day, someone from corporate comes down and says the manager has to do an online order by himself. We don’t know why, but we don’t care. And since this is a test, we aren’t supposed to help him like we would help someone we were training. We can only step in if he has a question or if we see him do something wrong. We give him a 35-piece order to do. This would take one of us 15 to 20 minutes to shop. He sits down at the computer.)

Manager: “[My Name], which cradle is connected to the computer?”

(There are five cradles/chargers for our handhelds.)

Me: “Second from the left.”

(He puts the handheld in the cradle and downloads the order, and then he grabs it and starts to head out the door.)

Me: “[Manager], wait! The order isn’t on there.”

Manager: “It’s not?”

Me: “No, you have to sync it. Put the handheld back in the cradle, then click on this diamond tab, and when the button turns green, click on it.”

(He does what I say and pulls the order up on the handheld. When you first see the order, all you see is the name. When you click on the name, it takes you to a screen where it gives you the name, time it’s due, order number, and any customer comments. You have to click a checkbox saying you read the customer comments, much like you click a checkbox saying you read the terms and agreements. Trainees are often confused the first time they see this screen, so we always make sure to tell them what to do. But again, since this is a test for the manager, I can’t tell him what to do unless he asks.)

Manager: “This handheld’s broken.”

Me: “What?”

Manager: “There’s no order.”

(He shows me the info screen.)

Me: “Click the little box, and then click on next.”

(He does.)

Manager: “Oh! It’s not broken.”

(He starts to shop. My coworkers and I laugh at “it’s broken” and then get back to work. Forty-five minutes later, the manager comes back. My coworker helps him upload his order, he calls the customer, and then I get him again to help him ring it through the register. He does a decent job overall. As he’s finishing his order, he says this:)

Manager: “Yeah, I’m going to approve hiring another shopper. This was horrible! I hope I never have to do it again! I don’t know how you girls stand it.”

(Hopefully, he won’t complain about yellow orders anymore.)

This story is part of our crazy-online-shoppers roundup!

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(I’m a cashier. This man comes up with some items and sets them down on the belt.)

Me: “Would you like to save 5% today with a [Company] debit card?”

Customer: “No, it would be used too much.”

Me: *jokingly* “Oh, who’s the big spender in your house?”

Customer: *nonchalantly* “Me, since my cat’s dead and my wife left me.”

(Awkward. How the h*** was I supposed to respond to that? I didn’t say anything and finished ringing up the items in two minutes of dead silence.)

(I’m at a big box store buying groceries, including pre-packaged bags of different kinds of dried fruit. The most expensive one is orange and white, and the least expensive one is yellow and white; the price difference is fairly significant. The cashier initially scans the cheaper one twice and realizes his mistake.)

Cashier: “Oops, I should probably do this individually. Not that it makes a difference, but just in case!”

(He voids one and correctly scans the second bag. It’s $6 more.)

Cashier: *pause* “I probably should have left it and saved you some money… Sorry!”

(I am a cashier at a grocery store that has a customer rewards card, and you get all your items discounted to sale price when you have a card.)

Me: “Okay, your total today is $85.36. Do you have your rewards card?”

Customer: *studying the screen* “Wait, that’s not right! Everything was on sale!”

Me: “Do you have your rewards card?”

Customer: “Everything was on sale! That’s too much! Did the chicken ring up buy-one-get-one-free?”

Me: *getting impatient* “Ma’am. Do you have your rewards card?”

Customer: *still squinting at the screen when the lightbulb FINALLY goes off* “Oh, yeah! It’s right here.”

Me: *scans card* “Okay, your total is now $52.44!”

Customer: “Oh, that’s much better!”

(This happens A LOT more than you’d expect.)

(Over the next few weeks, we have to complete some mandatory paid training at work. It’s being run at various times on Tuesdays and Wednesdays for the next three weeks. My supervisor approaches me during one of my shifts.)

Supervisor: “Hey, are you working Tuesday or Wednesday next week?”

Me: “I’m working both days.”

Supervisor: “Do you think you could come in an hour earlier on one of those days and do the training?”

Me: “Sure. Which day?”

Supervisor: “Take your pick, Tuesday or Wednesday. Which would you prefer?”

Me: “Either or. It makes no difference to me really. Whatever’s easiest.”

Supervisor: “Both work. Just pick one.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll take Tuesday, then, and get it out the way sooner, I guess.”

Supervisor: “Oh. Is there any way you could do it Wednesday, instead? The Tuesday group is full.”