I work in a supermarket café. As we are inside said supermarket, we have no direct access to the outside, basically meaning we have no windows or outer doors. We are also the type of cafe where everything is pre-cooked and stored on the hotplate and as it’s a supermarket we do not do reservations. I answer the phone.

Me:
“Good morning, customer cafe, [My Name] speaking.”

Customer:
“About time! I’ve been waiting three minutes already!”

As it’s a supermarket, all external calls get directed to the office and then transferred to who they need to speak to.

Me:
“I’m sorry for your wait. How can I help you?”

Customer:
“I want to book a table.”

Me:
“I’m sorry, sir, we are not that sort of café; we don’t take reservations.”

Customer:
“But there’s sixteen of us.”

Most of the local builders, barracks, and other workmen know that since we pre-cook everything, we can run out when there’s an unexpected rush and they will phone to let us know so that they aren’t waiting for more food to cook. Therefore, I think that’s what this was.

Me:
“Oh, well, in that case, thank you for giving us advance warning. Do you have a rough time that you will be arriving?

Customer:
“About 11:00 am. Don’t you need a name?”

Me:
“No, sir, as previously stated, we do not do bookings. I just need to make sure there is enough food cooked for that time.”

Customer:
“Fine, then, but we want a table by the window.”

Me:
“I’m sorry, sir, but I am unable to do that as we have no windows in the cafe.”

Customer:
“But it’s a hot day and we want a breeze!”

Me:
“I understand, sir; however, we have no windows in this cafe. I will be unable to help you.”

Customer:
*Irate and aggressive* “FINE! Do you at least have air conditioning?”

Me:
“The store is temperature-controlled, yes.”

Customer:
“Well, what temperature is it set at?”

Me:
“I’m sorry, sir, but I have no access to the thermostat and therefore, I cannot tell you that.”

Customer:
“WELL, GUESS!”

Me:
“I’m sorry, sir, I’m unable to guess the temperature.”

Customer:
“WELL, TRY!”

Me:
“I’m currently in a short sleeve shirt and I’m finding it very cool. Does that help at all?”

Customer:
“NO! That’s not helpful. Don’t you even have a TV or something to tell you the temperature?”

Me:
“No, sir, as I’ve previously explained, we are a supermarket cafe, within a supermarket; we do not have those kinds of facilities.”

Customer:
“But your website says you’re on the beach. How can you not have a breeze?”

We are near the beach but not on the beach; also, we are in a supermarket! I attempt to explain that there are two roads and a mini amusement park between us and the beach.

Customer:
“You’re being extremely rude and very unhelpful! I want to speak to your manager!”

My personal manager is on a day off and I tend to act as manager when she isn’t there, but I do not want to deal with this guy anymore.

Me:
“I can get you a manager; however, I will have to put you back on hold in order to go find one for you.”

Customer:
“NO! MANAGER! NOW!”

I am finally beginning to lose my politeness and getting a bit snippy with him.

Me:
“Sir, I understand, but I need to go across the shop floor in order to get you a manager. Are you okay to be put on hold?”

Customer:
“You are being very rude! Get me a manager!”

I finally lose all attempts at being civil and talk to him like the child he is acting.

Me:
“I will get you a manager. However, before I get a manager for you, I need to establish that you understand that I will have to put you on hold. This phone is mounted to the wall; I cannot take it and you with me to get a manager. This means you will have to wait two minutes while I get you a manager. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!”

Customer:
“Two minutes, then! I’ve waited enough already!”

I put the phone down, and tell the coworkers (who are staring at me as I’m now physically shaking with anger at the way he has been speaking to me) not to touch that phone and go to find a manager, all of whom are currently in a manager’s meeting, which I now have to interrupt.

As I go in they all stare at me, as none of them have ever seen me angry before.

Me:
“I need your rudest manager, please.”

Head Manager:
“I don’t want any of the managers being rude to customers.”

I interrupt and start to explain, and within five seconds…

Head Manager:
“[Other Manager], you don’t mind being rude, you can handle this one.”

The git hung up before I could let [Other Manager] have at him! Everyone said that they couldn’t believe I hadn’t told him to f*** off or hung up on him. I have to say I’m shocked, as well.

Luckily enough, everyone knows me as being someone who is never rude to customers and normally has very good temper control, so if he does decide to make an official complaint, they have no issue tell him where to stick it!

I am a cashier at a grocery store to pay for college. We just got a new assistant customer service manager (ACSM) not much older than me. He is a very large male, whereas I am a fairly petite female. I discover very quickly that he has a major personal space issue. He literally squeezes himself into my very small standing area behind the register to tell me to go to lunch or clock out.

The first few times, I tell him nicely that he doesn’t have to come all the way around the register to tell me stuff. Previous managers just came around the front and talked to me because the area was so small. He starts doing it more.

I come up with a plan. I know about what time I am supposed to go to lunch, so I wait. He comes around the register and gets right behind me. I step backward, landing on his foot as hard as I can.

ACSM:
“OW!”

Me:
*Innocently* “Oh, my bad. I told you there’s not enough space back here for two people.”

ACSM:
“Go take your lunch!”

He walks away, muttering. That stops him for a couple of months. Then, he starts doing it again. I put in my notice about a week ago because I found a job on campus that works with my class schedule. So, I am feeling pretty ornery. I can sense him in my personal space while chatting with a customer, so I start using exaggerated hand movements. I fling my arm back without looking…

ACSM:
“HEY! [My Name]! Watch it! You almost hit me!”

Me:
“Then don’t get in my space!”

He walked away grumbling while my customer laughed.

This actually happened to my dad, but I arrived to see the tail end of it. My dad works in one of the major grocery stores as a cashier and has done — at this store — for nearly 28 years, so he’s seen a lot of weird customers. I think this one takes the cake, though.

A middle-aged woman came into the grocery store one afternoon. She grabbed a trolley and started to go up and down the aisles. It looked like she was doing a weekly shop, and the trolley ended up piled high with stock. She got into line at my dad’s register but didn’t load anything onto the belt. Slightly odd, but some customers won’t when there’s someone in front of them. However, when the current customer left — there’s not enough room to get out of the registers if someone has a trolley in front of you because they’re not that wide — the woman looked at my dad and the register… before walking right out of the shop!

I arrived outside to pick my dad up from work in time to see one of the front end supervisors and a security officer chasing after the woman with a full trolley of goods. She claimed that she didn’t think she had to pay, that she thought they were having a giveaway. They escorted her back to the store and requested that she either pay or leave with nothing. 

Just to clarify, this woman spoke English with an Australian accent, was well dressed and well presented, and didn’t appear to have anything wrong with her.

I don’t know if she truly was just confused or if she attempted to scam them. Either way, it’s definitely one of the stranger experiences that Dad has had!

The grocery store where I work has a loyalty program that grants customers a discount on gas if they buy so many dollars in groceries. I work at customer service and handle problems customers have about anything that goes wrong anywhere in the store in person and over the phone. I answer a call.

Me:
“Hello, thank you for calling [Company] customer service. This is [My Name]; how may I help you?”

Customer:
“Yes, my husband was just up there and got gas from your gas station and he didn’t get his discount.”

Because of our fuel program, our pumps have prompts that many customers who don’t get gas at our store regularly do not know they have to follow. It is a common problem for them to try and pump gas immediately, which causes the pump to overlook the discount.

Me:
“Did your husband get any discount at all?”

If they use their loyalty card, they get a generic discount no matter what, and it tells me if they even scanned their card.

Customer:
“The receipt says we paid $3.45 a gallon.”

I am hoping the gas station didn’t change their price on me!

Me:
“Okay, so he did use his loyalty card… Now, did—”

Customer:
“—of course, he used his card!”

I ignore her interruption.

Me:
“Did your husband follow the prompts on the screen? Because what can happen is he might have scanned his card and then went to pump his gas. If he did that, the pump would have defaulted to the generic discount every customer automatically gets when they use their card at our pumps.”

Customer:
*Yelling into background* “Did you follow the prompts?”

Husband:
*From the background* “Of course, I f****** followed the d*** prompts! I didn’t get my twenty-cent discount!”

Customer:
*Still to the background* “He said that if you… Here you talk to him.”

Husband:
“I don’t want to talk to them; I want my d*** discount!”

There is a fumbling with the phone.

Husband:
“Hello?! Yes, I didn’t get my twenty-cent discount. My receipt from the gas even says I should have gotten it but I didn’t! How are you going to make up for this?!”

Me:
“Sir, it sounds like you did not follow the prompts. What it should have—”

Husband:
“—of course, I followed your f****** prompts. Your d*** pump refused to give me my discount!”

I then explain to him, in detail, step by step, what should have appeared on the screen and the actions he should have taken to get to his discount.

Husband:
*Frustrated* “I did all those d*** things and it didn’t even tell me how much I could have saved. It skipped from how I want to pay to me pumping for gas without my discount.”

Me:
“It sounds like to me that after you selected your form of payment you went directly to pumping your gas.”

Husband:
“Of course, I did!”

Me:
“When you did that, you skipped the last prompt that asked you how much of your discount you wanted to use. Pressing 1 would have been the full amount, 2 would have been to change the amount, and 3 is for the generic discount that you got. If you skipped this step it would have defaulted to 3, so it wouldn’t use any of your points without your permission.”

Husband:
“Well, that is too d*** confusing… So, you are telling me I am s*** out of luck?”

Me:
“I understand it can be confusing. Next time, to make sure you get the discount, I advise asking an attendant for assistance and they would be more than happy to assist you. Your points are still there for the next time you want to fill up. However, to make up for your frustration and confusion, you can come into the store and I’ll give you back the difference of what you should have saved.

Husband:
“YOU ARE THE F****** STORE?!”

Suddenly, he is yelling into the background.

Husband:
“YOU CALLED THE D*** STORE! I TOLD YOU TO CALL THEIR CORPORATE OFFICE!”

His wife says some things too soft for me to hear.

Husband:
“YOU AT THAT STORE DON’T DO S*** TO HELP CUSTOMERS! I HAVE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE AND CUSTOMER SERVICE NEVER DOES S***! EVEN THE MANAGER REFUSES TO DO ANYTHING! I WANT YOUR CORPORATE PHONE NUMBER!”

I am an assistant department head of customer service, but because the head isn’t in that day I am acting department head and directly beneath the managers. What I am offering to give him can’t be any more than six or seven dollars. It isn’t that much money to make a customer happy for something that wasn’t our fault to begin with.

Me:
“Sir, I am sorry to hear that happened to you in the past. However, I am here until ten tonight and if you come in and ask for me I will be more than happy to assist in giving you the difference in what you could have saved.”

Husband:
“YOU GUYS DON’T DO S***! I WANT YOUR CORPORATE NUMBER!”

Me:
“I am sorry to hear you feel that way. Our corporate number is on the back of your loyalty card. If you don’t have it near you, it is [number].”

Husband:
“Good.”

Before I realize he has hung up on me:

Me:
“Have a wonderful day.”

I talked to my manager so he knew my story if corporate ever called him about this particular customer. He told me I handled it the best I could have and nothing more could have been done on our end.

Coworker:
“You know, when I was younger, I thought of Thanksgiving as ‘the day we eat turkey.’ Then, I got this job and realized 99% of Americans eat turkey every g**d*** day of their lives. So, what’s so g**d*** special about Thanksgiving?”

Me:
“Thanking Jesus for making gluttony socially acceptable?”