My store sells helium balloons. As a complementary service, if you purchase the balloons from us we will blow them up from you free of charge. We aren’t allowed to blow balloons up from external companies or other shops, even if the customer offers to pay.

Whenever we run out of helium, we take down all the balloons and put them behind the nearby electronics desk. It’s largely to stop customers being disappointed at not getting their purchased balloons blown up and complaining or asking for goodwill. It’s also to stop us having to refund every customer’s balloons and wasting time. A woman approaches the desk.

Customer: “Hi. Do you have any helium balloons? The stand is empty.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry but we’re out of helium so we don’t have the balloons out right now.”

Customer: “Oh. I have a helium tank at home so I don’t mind buying them and doing it at home. I really need them for tomorrow for my son’s birthday.”

Me: “Oh, well, that’s fine, then. If you follow me, I can get the box and find the balloons you like.”

We both start to walk towards where the box is kept at the desk.

Customer: “So, I’m assuming I get a discount on the balloons due to the fact you aren’t blowing them up.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t think we can do that. Head office is very strict about our sale of balloons in relation to the helium. At the end of the day, us blowing them up is a complimentary service. I can ring a manager to double-check, I guess?”

We reach the electronics desk and she asks for a specific balloon, which I hand to her. I ring a manager who confirms what I told the customer: that we cannot discount balloons just because we’ve temporarily run out of helium. I hang up the phone and turn to the customer.

Me: “I’m sorry, but he’s confirmed that I can’t give you a discount.”

She glares at me and sighs.

Customer: “Are you sure?!”

Me: “Yes, I’m sure. I’m sorry but it’s company policy. I can’t override it.”

Early on in this interaction, I felt bad for her, since it was for her toddler’s birthday party. I had planned on giving her a few of our “£1” coupons to apologise and essentially give her her discount. The coupons are generic so it wouldn’t have flagged on the system and the manager would have been none the wiser, and the woman would be happy. However, she is so insistent on the discount, I tell her twice more that there’s nothing I can do. A couple of minutes later, she hands back the balloon I’d given her.

Customer: “You know what, I’m just going to drive to [Same Supermarket the town over] and get the balloons off of them. They’ll blow it up for me. Thanks for nothing!”

With that, she walked away to purchase the rest of her shopping. I still don’t get why she made a big deal out of the helium, when she stated she had a tank at home she could use, nor why she figured driving ten minutes away to the same supermarket — therefore still giving our company money — just to have them blown up would save her any money or time!

A man comes through my line with organic eggs. I ring it up.

Customer: “That’s not the right price. These eggs should be a dollar sixty-nine.”

That is the price for the cheap eggs.

Me: “These aren’t the [Cheap Brand]; these are the organic eggs, sir.”

I call over the management because I figure it is going to get complicated. We all know it is the right price, but we go through all the motions and the manager goes to check it. While they’re double-checking the price, the customer persists.

Customer: “I know the price; they were a dollar sixty-nine. I am a mathematical genius.”

I didn’t say it, but I thought to myself, “You might be a mathematical genius, but you sure as h*** can’t read.”

I’m a cashier at a local grocery store, about to go to lunch. The head cashier comes around, turns off my light, and tells me to finish the line and go. She puts a “LANE CLOSED” sign at the end of my lane to let customers know.

Still, people line up and expect me to ring them out. I can’t tell them I’m closed or ask them to go to another line — per “the customer comes first” policy — so I keep going.

I’m nearly done with the last customer in line when a woman comes up with a huge cart of items. She looks at the “LANE CLOSED” sign and then looks at me.

Customer: “Are you open?”

I am careful to avoid saying I am closed.

Me: “I’m about to go to lunch, ma’am, I’m sorry. The registers on either side of me are open, though.”

Customer: “But you’re not open?”

Me: “I’m going to lunch as soon as I’m done with this customer.”

Customer: “Well, are you open or closed?!”

Other Cashier: *Waving* “I can ring you out down here, ma’am! Come on down!”

Customer: “I’m asking if she is open!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, I—”

Finally, the woman I’ve been checking out speaks up.

Customer: #2 “She can’t tell you she’s closed, but she is. If you’d listen, you’d know.”

Customer: *Stunned* “Excuse me? Was I talking to you?”

Customer #2: “I’m talking to you. Go get in another line.”

Customer: “This is how you treat customers? You’ve lost a sale!”

The woman storms out, leaving her cart at my register. After I am done with my last customer, I take the cart to customer service to sort into the return bins. While there, my last customer comes over with a manager.

Manager: “[My Name], I need to speak with you.”

Me: “Uh… okay.”

Manager: “This customer tells me you had a woman who tried to come through your line while you were closed.”

Me: “Um… yes. But I didn’t—”

My manager holds up his hand.

Manager: “You’re okay.”

Customer #2: “I told him what happened, just in case she complains.”

Me: *Relieved* “Oh. Thank you!”

Sure enough, the woman called and complained that I was rude to her, told her to find someone else to ring her out, and even made fun of her! She demanded a $500 gift card for her “emotional trauma” and threatened to call the news stations and the BBB if we didn’t give her what she wanted. The manager told her he’d reviewed the tapes and saw none of that. She screeched and hung up.

I’m at grocery store number five in an attempt to get one week’s worth of groceries during the recent outbreak and subsequent outages. This is the first store I’ve visited in a week with some kind of meat or seafood available.

Because there is no chicken, I get salmon. But it goes like this.

Me: “About how many pounds is this piece of salmon?”

Clerk: “I don’t know.”

I look at her and the scale expectantly. The clerk weighs the piece and it shows just over three pounds.

Me: “I’d like to get that, and would you please cut it into ten pieces?”

Clerk: “Do you want the whole piece?”

Me: “Yes.”

The clerk takes the salmon piece away to a cutting board and cuts it up. She returns with the salmon and a troubled look on her face. I see that the pieces appear to vary widely in weight from two to eight ounces. If cut evenly, they should all have been about five ounces.

Clerk: “This salmon only had nine pieces in it. Do you want another piece?”

Me: “Um… No, thanks.”

I work at the salad bar in a grocery store. At around 8:00 pm we start to take it down to clean it so I go through the dining room telling customers:

Me: “We’re just about to take down the salad bar if you want to get something quickly.”

Customer: “Can I get some food quickly?”

I agree. I unplug the soup pans so they can cool down. When I get back, I hear the woman on her phone saying:

Customer: “—yes, you can come, too.”

A few minutes later she, another woman, and a few kids are all getting food. Fifteen minutes later, I’m bringing back cleaning supplies to clean the area and they’re still getting food.

Me: “Are you almost done? I really need to take it down.”

Customer: “I haven’t got my food yet.”

My coworkers and I wound up finishing it almost a half-hour later than usual because they wouldn’t leave. We became much more strict about it after that. You can get a bowl of soup or a plate of salad, but you only have five minutes to get food. No exceptions.