Coworker: “Every day, I worry that the German bologna will invade the Polish ham.”

When a customer orders groceries online at my store, they have the option to get their prescriptions filled provided it isn’t a controlled substance. Extra steps are taken to make sure we don’t violate HIPAA laws. However, we partner with a popular online grocery company to offer delivery. Prescriptions are not available through delivery for a variety of reasons.

One of my customers has asked to have his prescription filled on a delivery order. I call him to explain his options.

Me: “Unfortunately, we cannot give you your prescription through delivery.”

Customer: “Why not? We get all our other meds delivered through a service.”

Me: “It’s because it would violate all sorts of HIPAA laws. The [Online Grocery Company] drivers aren’t certified and can’t sign for it. If you want, I can get everything prepared for you, and you could come in and get it from the pharmacy.”

Customer: “I guess we’ll have to, but can I pick it up tomorrow, instead? Will it be ready then?”

Me: “Yes. I’ll have the pharmacy get it ready, and I can add it to your order today so it’s already paid for, so all you have to do tomorrow is come by and pick it up.”

Customer: “Could I come through the curbside pickup lane and get it? We’re in the age group that’s not supposed to be going outside right now, so we’d rather not come inside.”

Me: “Yes, that’s fine.”

I end the call and think nothing of it. A few hours later, the customer calls again. No one has come by to pick up his groceries and he’s wondering what’s going on.

Me: “We actually have nothing to do with the delivery part. We partner with [Online Grocery Company]. I can give you their customer service number to call. I find issues are resolved faster when they talk to the actual customer instead of us.”

Customer: “Have you had other problems with delivery orders today?”

This is in the middle of the current health crisis thing, and so many people are trying to get groceries delivered that it’s causing backup both on our system and with the online grocery company.

Me: “Yes, we’ve been having some problems all weekend. I think the main problem is that they don’t have enough drivers right now. But like I said, if you call them, they should get someone out here to pick your order up. The number is [number].”

Customer: “I hope my perishables aren’t going bad.”

Me: “Oh, no. We have coolers and freezers for the cold stuff, so nothing will be spoiled.”

Customer: “Thank you for your help.”

I hang up, and he calls again five minutes later.

Customer: “So, they aren’t taking calls from customers right now. Could you please call them? Maybe they’ll listen to you.”

Me: “I can try, but we have to call the exact same number, so I’m not sure if I’ll get any further.”

Customer: “If you can’t, that’s fine. We can come to pick it up tomorrow if we don’t get the groceries delivered today.”

I hang up and check our dashboard for delivery orders. The dashboard lets us see if someone has claimed an order, or delete a delivery if we need to, but nothing else. I see his order is still open and call the online grocery company. I am on hold for a good fifteen minutes listening to the most upbeat hold music I’ve ever heard, when the customer calls me back again.

Customer: “So, my wife doesn’t want to wait, and she wants her prescription today. Could we just pick it up today? Is the prescription ready?”

Me: “Yes, the prescription is ready. You are welcome to come to pick your order up at your convenience. I’m sorry about this.”

Customer: “It’s not your fault. It’s [Online Grocery Company]. You guys are doing your best. I’m sure you’re swamped right now, and half the shelves are empty right now. My wife just doesn’t want to wait anymore. She’s on her way now.”

I cancelled the delivery online. Not even five minutes later, his wife showed up for the groceries. 

This isn’t the first time we’ve had people not get their groceries within their delivery time slot, but this whole outbreak situation certainly has multiplied the number of people left waiting for their groceries.

At least this customer was understanding about everything. Too many people have yelled at us for deliveries being late and the store being out of everything, fights have broken out in the store, etc. We even had a customer steal a roll of paper towels that a coworker was using to clean the shelves. We really appreciate the understanding people right now.

I’m a cashier at a huge grocery store during a weekend shopping rush. I work at the fifteen-or-less lane, and the line is already quite long when a woman in her fifties gets in the line with a cart full of groceries. I remind her about the policy on the express lane — all we can do — and this ensues.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is fifteen items or less.”

Customer #1: “I’m not waiting in those f****** lines. I’m in a hurry. Just do your f****** job.”

Customer #2: “So are all of the rest of us. That is why we just stopped by to pick up the absolutely necessary stuff and came to the express line.”

Customer #1: “Just mind your own business.”

[Customer #1] starts piling up her groceries to the belt when I hear a loud whistle. It’s [Customer #2]. Everyone stops what they’re doing and starts looking for where the noise came from. [Customer #2] starts to talk with a loud voice to everyone in the store.

Customer #2: “I’m sorry, ladies and gentlemen, could I please have a second of your time? I’m conducting a poll about a little situation we have here at the express lane. We have this woman here—” *pointing at her* “—who is refusing to leave the express lane even though she has a cart full of groceries and the cashier has asked her politely, and she is cursing at her. I would like to take a poll if people think she’s an entitled a**hole or not. If you think she is right and absolutely entitled to use the express lane, make some noise!”

Crickets.

Customer #2: “Aaand! If you think that she is an entitled b**** who should drag her cart to a normal line, make some noise now!”

People started clapping and making noise. The first customer, now beet red in the face, shouted, “F*** you!” and stormed out of the store. I had to call someone to put her things away, but that was definitely worth it!

This story is part of our Best Of August 2020 roundup!

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I am working the register and a family approaches me with their purchases. The woman has an empty bottle without any label in her hand.

Woman: “The reverse vending machine didn’t accept this bottle!”

Me: “Well, it doesn’t have a label or barcode, so the machine can’t scan it.”

Man: “Yes, of course, we can see that.”

The woman tries to hand me the bottle.

Me: “What do you expect me to do with that? I can throw it in the trash for you, if you so wish.”

Man: “No, we want our money! It’s twenty-five cents!”

Me: “I can’t do that as it doesn’t have a label.”

Man: “But you are obliged by state law to take all bottles back, even those without labels!”

Me: “I don’t know about such a law, but I do know that I can’t take that bottle back.”

Man: “You have to! It’s the law! I want to speak to the boss!”

Me: “Let me just get the store manager.”

While I lean over to the microphone to call for the store manager, the man goes on and on about how it’s the law and how we have to take the bottle back. Finally, the store manager arrives.

Manager: *To me* “What’s up?”

Me: “Well, these customers want—”

Man: “We want our deposit back for this empty bottle! It’s twenty-five cents! You are obliged by law to take those back!”

Manager: “We won’t take them back. It doesn’t have a label anymore.”

Man: “You have to by law!“

Manager: “I’ve never heard of such a law.”

Man: “There is!”

Manager: “What do you expect us to do with it? We can only throw it in the trash; this would be a loss for us.”

Man: “But it’s only twenty-five cents! Don’t make this harder than it has to be! I want to speak to your boss! This can’t be right.”

Manager: “The boss isn’t in today.”

Man: “Then call him immediately!”

Manager: “No, I won’t do that. He has better things to do. I am simply enforcing rules our boss made; we are not supposed to take unlabeled empties. It’s a direct order by him.”

Man: “But you have to; it’s the law!”

By this time, a big line of around ten people has formed behind him, all rolling their eyes and getting more and more annoyed and impatient over the delay that guy is causing.

Me: “Listen, you heard him. Our boss told us to not take unlabeled empties. Neither he nor I can do anything about that. But if you’re so certain that it’s law—”

Man: “It is law!”

Me: “—if you’re so certain about that, a few meters down the street is [Grocery Store]; they take empties, as well, so you can try there.”

Man: “This is horrible service! I will never shop here again!”

The manager speaks with that weird kind of smug smile and tone he can put on.

Manager: “Good, then don’t shop here again. I don’t mind.”

I scan their items and they pay and leave. I go through the queue, checking everyone out as quickly as possible. Once I have no customers again, the store manager approaches me.

Me: “Man, I think I lost brain cells over this.”

Manager: “You know they’re gonna tell them the same at [Grocery Store]?”

Me: “I guess, yeah. I just wanted him out of here. Besides, I want him to run around town for ‘just twenty-five cents’.”

Manager: “Fair.”

I’ve just gotten off work and I stop by a grocery store to redeem a scratch-and-win card. Since all the cashiers are packed, I just go over to the customer service desk to wait. It’s only been a minute, and the closest cashier spots me and darts over as soon as he rings out his last customer. For a moment, he looks terrified. 

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’ll call the manager over for you right away. It might be a moment, though.”

Me: “Oh, no, it’s fine. You guys are busy; I don’t mind the wait.”

The cashier looks visibly relieved. 

Cashier: “Oh, thank God. I’ve had three people yell at me today because I couldn’t cash out their tickets right away.”