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Expressly Apologetic

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Popular

(While shopping, I pick up just a few things on the way home. I make my way to the registers and see a lone “six items or less” line open. I then almost skid to a stop when I see someone with a mostly full cart skid to a stop. Just as I’m about to turn around and head to another lane, she looks up.)

Woman: “Oh, s***!”

Cashier: “Are you all right!?”

Woman: “No, I didn’t even see this was an express lane! Oh, shoot, I’m so sorry. Here, go, go!”

(She then proceeded to wave me and the next two people who came up ahead of her; the cashier said he’d take her still since she was letting others through, and I guess she figured that still would have been quicker than re-loading all her stuff on the cart. Or maybe it was a self-imposed penance, but whatever the case, thank you to the lady that can admit your mistakes!)

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A Blessing In Disguise

| ID, USA | Bad Behavior, Religion

(I’m stocking bags of cookies, and a customer comes up to me.)

Me: “Hello, how are you doing?”

Customer: “I am so blessed, thank you. Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “What’s that?”

Customer: “Do you ever think, when you’re doing your job, about how your company profits from the deprivation of children in third-world countries?”

Me: *thinking* “Um… no, but I’m certainly thinking about it now!”

Customer: “I just want to know.”

Me: “Sir… if you object to our business practices you’ll need to take that up with the corporate office.”

Customer: “But it’s a simple question. Yes or no?”

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

(When they start with “I’m blessed,” it never ends well.)

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The Holidays Just Flasher By

| CT, USA | Holidays

(For Halloween, the grocery store I work at allows employees to come to work in a costume. On a tight budget, I had dressed like a 1930’s reporter, complete with the notepad in the fedora and a trench coat that went down to my ankles. (It should be noted I am a 6’3″ male.) A middle aged woman comes to my register, a concerned expression on her face.)

Me: “Happy Halloween, miss. May I see your rewards card?”

Customer: *serious tone* “Are you dressed as a flasher?”

(I’ve had customers ask if I’m everything from a private eye to a crooked lawyer.)

Me: *the trench coat is unbuttoned, with my shirt and pants visible on the middle of my chest* “Miss… if I were dressed as a flasher, the jacket would be closed.”

Customer: “Oh…”

(She went along the rest of the transaction seeming rather disappointed in my reply.)