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Bake Up A Storm

| Seattle, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular

(The line is stuck because of one customer who is buying a huge amount of wine and other foods, and keeps complaining.)

Customer: “That’s all you had. Why don’t you have it?!”

(The clerk is ringing her up and being nice, and then asks the fatal question:)

Clerk: “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Customer: *like it just occurred to her to mention it* “NO, I DIDN’T ACTUALLY! Where is the ‘NO BAKE FLOUR’? You didn’t have any!”

(Turns out she wants to make ‘no bake cookies’ for her house gathering and was NOT PLEASED that the grocery store didn’t have “no bake flour”. The clerk is boggled and finally says:)

Clerk: “That sounds like a ‘foodie’ thing; maybe for that?”

(She finally goes, and the guy in front of me is buying water and beef jerky. He pays and goes without a word. I am next and I greet the clerk, then say:)

Me: “There is no such thing as ‘no bake flour.’”

Clerk: “I know. I just wanted her to go…”

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What An Alco-hole

| MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I used to work as a sacker at a grocery store, and in Missouri, workers have to be 18 or older to handle alcoholic products. I wasn’t at the time.)

Cashier: *scans customer’s beer* “You’ll have to load this into your cart yourself; he’s too young to handle alcohol.”

Customer: “Oh, come on. I won’t tell anyone. It’s no big deal.”

Me: “Well, it’s against the law.”

Cashier: “Yeah, we could both get fired and charged with a crime.”

Customer: “This is bull-s***! I go out of my way to come here, because I think this is a great store, and you treat me like this?! I guess I’ll just shop at [Competitor] from now on! See if I ever come here again!” *grabs beer and leaves in a huff*

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You’re Only Embarrassing Yourself Now

| MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money, Popular

(I work as a manager for a local grocery store in town where I live. The store itself only ever gets busy during the summer months since it is a big tourist destination. Not only is it busy but we are understaffed so I am on register trying to clear up some of the lines.)

Me:“All right, sir, your total is [total] dollars.”

Customer: *swipes his card*

(My register declines his card due to a transmitting error between our systems and the bank.)

Me: “Do you mind swiping your card again, sir? My register declined your card.”

Customer: “Well, that’s odd; I just filled my account. I should have $7000. This is embarrassing.”

Me: “Oh, nothing to be embarrassed about, sir. It seems to be a problem with our machines.”

Customer: “All right, then, but this is embarrassing.”

(He swipes his card again and the register declines it for the same problem.)

Me: “I am sorry, sir, this is really odd. Do you have another payment option you’d like to try?”

Customer: “Can you be a little quieter? This is embarrassing. I don’t want anyone to hear.”

(He swipes a different card.)

Me: “Great, this card went through, sir. Would you like the receipt?”

Customer: “No, thank you.”

(The customer leaves and I tend to the rest of my line before I close the register so I can quickly get other tasks done before I am needed again. I grab some baskets and stray carriages, and do some cash pick-ups. At this point my arms are full and I end up talking with another customer who needed assistance when suddenly the embarrassed customer walks in again, and barges into the conversation.)

Customer: “Yeah, hi there, I just got off the phone with the bank and they are telling me that my card was declined because of a machine reading error or something.”

Me: “Sir, I know. I told you that earlier when your card was declined.”

Customer: “I wanted to make sure, though. Also, that was really embarrassing for me so please keep that in mind next time this happens.”

Me: “No problem, sir.”

Customer: “I spoke to your manager over there, too, so she knows to train you on this.”

Me: “Sir, I am the manager. That is one of my cashiers.”

Customer: “You’re too young to be the manager; don’t lie. You’re only embarrassing yourself now.”

(The customer then complained to my cashier again about me lying. She pointed out that I am the manager and he looked embarrassed again and then quickly left. I really wanted to hit him the entire time he was speaking.)

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Cucumber Blunder

| USA | Food & Drink, Money, Popular

(We have both native organic cucumbers, and cucumbers from more temperate states on sale. Native cucumbers are 69 cents for one, whereas the shipped-in cucumbers are two for 99 cents. Produce department has signs up advertising the 69 cents price but because the cashiers don’t have a code for native cucumbers and they’re not in our produce lookup on the registers, our manager told us to ring them in as shipped-in cucumbers which is actually a better deal for the customer.)

Customer: “You made a mistake.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Look at this.” *thrusts receipt in my face* “Look!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t understand the problem.”

Customer: “Native cukes!”

Me: “What…?”

Customer: “Native cukes! I got them native cukes!”

(I check his receipt and it says he was charged for two cucumbers.)

Me: “How many did you get?”

Customer: “Two!”

Me: “Well, it looks like that’s what you were charged for, so I don’t understand what the problem is. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “69 cents!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Native 69 cents cukes!”

Me: “Okay. Sir, please calm down. I’m having trouble understanding what the issue is.”

Customer: “I’m supposed to be charged 69 cents for native cukes! Look at this! ‘Two cucumbers at two for 99 cents’!”

Me: “Yes, sir, you bought two so you were charged for two. I’m still not understanding what the issue is.”

Customer: “Two. Cukes. 69 cents. Them are 69 cent cukes and I got charged 99 cents for two.”

Me: “Sir. We don’t have a code for native cucumbers. We have to ring them in as standard out-of-state cucumbers. Are you telling me you’re unsatisfied with spending 39 cents less than what you would have had to pay?”

(The customer stares at me like I have three heads, then crumples up his receipt and throws it at me before storming out of the store.)

Me: “Glad we could provide excellent service for you today, sir!”

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Can’t See The Wood For The Bags

| MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Popular

Cashier: “So, will that be paper or plastic today, ma’am?”

Customer: “Oh, no, I prefer wood.”

Cashier: *just stares for a moment*

Customer: *realizing what she said* “Oh, um, paper is fine. I don’t know why I said that…”

(Meanwhile everyone around her was trying not to laugh as she exited the building without her wooden bags.)

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