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Should Have Made A Run For The Money

| GA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(I work as a bagger. It is about 8 pm and I am at the register waiting for the next order. A customer comes up with at least 15 $100 dollar prepaid gift cards.)

Cashier: “How are you doing today?”

Customer: “I am doing well, thanks for asking.”

(The cashier begins ringing up her order and the customer reaches into her wallet to pull out the money she is going to pay with. Turns out, however, this is counterfeit money, all of them 100 dollar bills.)

Cashier: “Okay, your total comes out to [price].”

(The customer hands her the fake bills and, without a second thought, the cashier notices and pulls out the pen she is given to mark fake bills to see if they are fake; they, of course, come up fake, so she then calls the manager over.)

Manager: “Is something wrong?”

Cashier: “Yes, this money isn’t getting accepted by the register.”

(Our registers don’t actually have a feature to detect funny money.)

Manager: “Okay, well, let me take it upstairs and see if I can’t get my machine to take it.”

(This whole time the customer has still not realized that we know the money is fake and continues to stand there playing on a cell phone. She is still standing there when a police officer and the manager approach her.)

Manager: “Ma’am, if you don’t mind, we would like you to come upstairs to the office, please.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, sure. I don’t mind.”

(They then walk upstairs and then it finally hits her when the police officer cuffs her. Then began the screaming.)

Customer: “THIS IS A FALSE ARREST! MY MONEY IS GOOD! YOU’RE GONNA HEAR FROM MY LAWYER! THIS IS BECAUSE I AM BLACK. ISN’T IT?! ALL YOU COPS ARE MOTHER F****** RACIST!”

(The cops took the woman to the squad car and drove off. I was just amazed the whole time she didn’t suspect a thing until the cops actually handcuffed her. You would think the moment the manager stepped up she would have hauled butt out of the store.)

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| Maryland | Unfiltered

I am standing in line at the grocery store. An older woman in front of me has a cart full of staple items. As she is checking out, she makes small talk with the clerk. I take notice because it is not a subject I would ordinarily discuss with strangers.

Customer: Oh yes, the doctor put me on a new medication. He says I shouldn’t drive. That’s why I have to stock up, because of this new medication. I can’t drive. The doctor said I’m not supposed to drive.

This goes on and on, with the woman continually mentioning the fact that the doctor has forbidden her from driving. Finally, she leaves, and I purchase my items and carry them to the parking lot. Who do you think I saw sitting in the driver’s seat of the car beside mine? I was really glad that she turned a different way!

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Clucked Out Early

| Omaha, NE, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Popular

(It’s just before Thanksgiving and I’m walking past the meat department when I overhear this exchange…)

Customer: “So, do these turkeys get any bigger?”

Meat Clerk: “No, ma’am.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Meat Clerk: “Because they’re dead, ma’am.”

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You Say Tomato, I Say Refund

, | Ottawa, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I am a part-time head-cashier [supervisor] at a grocery store, and any returns need my password before the computer accepts a return.)

Me: “Oh-la!” *answering my phone with my signature hello for coworkers*

Cashier: “I need an override for a refund.”

(I walk over to customer service cash to  ask the cashier what is being return and why.)

Cashier: “Moldy.” *she points to the baguette, half of which is missing*

Customer: “It tastes like mold. That’s why I am returning it. I made my lunch with this bread this morning with it, and I can taste mold.”

Me: “Oh, I am so sorry about that. Do you want another baguette to replace it or just your money back?”

Customer #1: “My money, please.”

Me: *I type in my password, process the return, and print out a receipt for the customer* “If I can a signature here, we are good to go. Have a nice day.” *the customer signs and I start to walk away*

Customer #1: “Wait a minute. Aren’t you going to refund my sandwich meat and slice of tomato and slice of cheese?”

Me: “Excuse me?” *I ask myself in shock: did I forget to refund other items?*

Customer #1: “The tomato slice, cheese slice, and meat from my sandwich. The meat and tomato slice, cheese slice on the f****** moldy baguette, that you sold me!”

Me: “I cannot refund for slices. But if you bring back the meat, cheese, and remaining tomato, I’ll gladly refund it all.”

Customer #1: “Why would I do that? Nothing is wrong with them! I want my f****** money for the slices on the sandwich.”

Me: “Sorry about your sandwich; we did refund the baguette. I cannot refund the slices. If you bring back the rest of cheese, sandwich meat, tomato I can gladly refund them.”

Customer #1: *grabs her phone* “You’re f****** kidding me. That was my f****** lunch. I have nothing to eat. F****** b****! You ruined my lunch! “*walks away*

Cashier: “Wow.”

Customer #2: “Oh, my god! Well, I hope you don’t get any more people like her today.”

Me: “She’s been the fourth one today. Not going to be the last.”

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Number Of The Beastly Coincidences, Part 2

| British Columbia, Canada | At The Checkout, Religion

(I am a cashier at a popular chain in our province. We have a loyalty card that earns the customer points that can be redeemed in-store on groceries or at the online store. Typically a point is earned with every dollar, though purchasing some products will earn a number of bonus points. I’m ringing up a customer.)

Me: “How are you today?”

Customer: “Well, I’ve had a tough day. Just gotta pick up groceries for the week for the kids, then I can go home.”

Me: “Hopefully you can relax then! Your total is $160, nice and even.”

Customer: *chuckles* “As long as it’s not 6-6-6!”

(She pays and her receipt prints out. At this chain, we tell the customers how much they saved with their loyalty card, and how many points they earned on this shop. I tell her her savings and as I get to her points, I start to laugh.)

Me: “…and you earned 666 points today!”

(The customer just took her receipt and left.)

Related:
Number Of The Beastly Coincidences

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