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A Blessing In Disguise

| ID, USA | Bad Behavior, Religion

(I’m stocking bags of cookies, and a customer comes up to me.)

Me: “Hello, how are you doing?”

Customer: “I am so blessed, thank you. Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “What’s that?”

Customer: “Do you ever think, when you’re doing your job, about how your company profits from the deprivation of children in third-world countries?”

Me: *thinking* “Um… no, but I’m certainly thinking about it now!”

Customer: “I just want to know.”

Me: “Sir… if you object to our business practices you’ll need to take that up with the corporate office.”

Customer: “But it’s a simple question. Yes or no?”

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

(When they start with “I’m blessed,” it never ends well.)

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The Holidays Just Flasher By

| CT, USA | Holidays

(For Halloween, the grocery store I work at allows employees to come to work in a costume. On a tight budget, I had dressed like a 1930’s reporter, complete with the notepad in the fedora and a trench coat that went down to my ankles. (It should be noted I am a 6’3″ male.) A middle aged woman comes to my register, a concerned expression on her face.)

Me: “Happy Halloween, miss. May I see your rewards card?”

Customer: *serious tone* “Are you dressed as a flasher?”

(I’ve had customers ask if I’m everything from a private eye to a crooked lawyer.)

Me: *the trench coat is unbuttoned, with my shirt and pants visible on the middle of my chest* “Miss… if I were dressed as a flasher, the jacket would be closed.”

Customer: “Oh…”

(She went along the rest of the transaction seeming rather disappointed in my reply.)

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Not Very Closed Minded, Part 16

| East Lansing, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Time

(The grocery store I work for has just closed its doors for good, and I am helping a small handful of my employees pack up items and clean up. For the past month and a half, there have been signs posted all over the store, at eye level, telling shoppers that the store would be closing. Most of the shelves are completely bare once the store is finally closed, and the front doors are shut off and closed, but not locked as we did need a way to get in and out of the building. My managers are out doing the final bank run, when a gentleman pushes past the doors, grabs a cart and proceeds to walk aimlessly around the store, weaving around large piles of boxes and empty displays. Everyone notices and proceeds to stop and stare at the man, without approaching him or notifying him that the store is closed. I finally decide to step up to him.)

Me: “Um… sir? I’m sorry, but the store closed on [Date].”

Customer: “Really? I don’t see any signs! I just want to do a bit of shopping.”

Me: “Yes, we have signs posted every five feet, at eye level, and as you can see, most of our shelves are completely bare. Not only that, none of our registers are on, nor do we have money to give you change if you decided to pay cash for whatever groceries you do happen to find.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I was wondering why your store was so bare. Would you mind if I take a look around anyway?”

Me: “The store is closed, sir. Of course I mind. There’s nothing here for you to see except a bunch of empty shelves, and even if you did find something, you can’t buy it, nor can you take it with you! Please leave!”

Customer: “Fine. You didn’t have to be so rude! Now I know why this place is closing!”

Me: “It’s closed already, sir. Have a good day.”

(The gentleman left his cart in the middle of the store and walked out. Everyone was left scratching their head by the end of that ordeal.)

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 15
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 14
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 13